The Raincoats (1)

Don't you hate these people that talk into your mouth...like you're a clown at a drive-through?

Sometimes they give you...the three-quarter handshake, just the fingers.

I have actually said to people, 'Hey, the handshake is over.'

That's three strikes. You're out.

I'm getting a little backed up.

Maybe this will become, like, a cool thing, living with your parents. Then maybe baldness will catch on.

When the aliens come, who do you think they're gonna relate to? Who do you think's gonna be getting tour of the ship? The baldies.

Did you see the mug on that kid?

Wouldn't you like to pass the ketchup to someone like me? Please?

Have you noticed they moved...where they do the interview on Jeopardy? Yeah. It was in the middle of Single Jeopardy. Now it's after Single Jeopardy.

Then all I have to do is buy postcards...and have your parents mail them from Paris.

He's probably better off.

Because George...is a deeply disturbed individual.

Yeah, or if ever on Fifth Avenue here in New York City.

See, when people like you die...the widows, they bring in their wardrobes.

What happens if the husband dies after the wife? Who brings the clothing in then? I suppose the children do. Yes, I suppose they do.

What plans? We have plans. Where did you get plans? We have plans.

Jerry, we don't care much for the Costanzas. We can't stand them.

I didn't think you could detect...abnormal behavior among your own kind.

A bit of a close talker. A what? You'll see.

They're exhausting. It's like being in an asylum.

Visual gag: Aaron standing uncomfortably close to Jerry's parents while talking

Yeah, that will happen.

Sorry, pal. Wish I could help you out.

Again with the pepper? What do you gotta use all that pepper for? Keep quiet. You trying to set my mouth on fire?

Don't you think he had to be...nearsighted? Nobody would paint like that if they could see. It's all out of focus.

He's from the Impressionist school, you know...like Monet, Manet, Tippy-tippy-day-day.

Hey, you must be Aaron. I've heard about you.

Why would they? Nobody bought them then.

This is like the meeting of Smith and Wesson.

The Eiffel Towers.

George, you have no idea how fantastic this is. Fantastic? Yeah.

They bought me a Coke.

So I took out my belt, just to threaten him...and I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

Jack, it's Morty. Who died?

I guarantee you, Doris won't let him mail those boxes.

Maybe it was a mouse. Okay, that's it! We're moving!

I will not tolerate infestation.

Could you make it 225? That was his high game in bowling.

I'm just selling some of Dad's things. That's what he would have wanted.

They had plans, huh? They had plans!

These the same people you live with? Yes. Absolutely.

Is that a coincidence?

Visual gag: Aaron standing too close to everyone in the office

He looks better on TV.

My idiot son could open that garage door. What did I do?

A raincoat salesman. I could buy and sell him, like that.

A mouse! I saw a mouse! It's the remote.

I'm not crazy about used clothes. I mean, they call it vintage...you know, to take your mind off what it really is, nasty-wear.

It actually becomes underwear vapor. We don't even throw it out. We just open a window...and it goes out like dandelion spores.

The whole movie was in black and white. Oh, yeah, I didn't even realize.

Twenty-five percent? It was your idea. Yeah, I know. You're doing all the legwork. That's right. He's ripping you off.

All right, let's compromise. Twenty-five percent. Okay, it's a deal.

Well, I didn't actually get to see the whole movie. Yeah, why not? I was kind of making out.

You were making out during Schindler's List?

He was moving on her like the stormtroopers into Poland.

We started up a little during the coming attractions...and the next thing we knew the war was over.

You stole my shirt, you son of a bitch! Give me that back. Give me that. Give me.

A mouse! Egad! A mouse! In the bedroom!

Hey, I got news for you, four-eyes...there's no way you're staying with us in Paris.

He said I was dead? That's right. That's what my life is worth to him, $25?

They need some water. Why? They'll get dehydrated on the plane! Get the Seinfelds some water! Please!

Did you ever notice he stood too close to you when he talked? No, I hadn't noticed.

ATMs and urinals. I guess whenever someone's taking valuables...out of their pants, you wanna give them as much room as possible.