The Millennium

I'd like to buy these huaraches.

Nothing. You just lost a customer.

In fact, I enjoy being the theater cutup. Last week after a preview, I yelled out, 'Must miss!'

I think that I was in that theater. That was really funny.

You've got to lift up that plastic thing with a pen.

New Year's Eve, 1999, the millennium.

I got a case of party poppers I'm gonna keep in front of them.

I'm on a winning ball club, Jerry. They probably want to pick my brain.

I don't mind the Mayans.

And he's 1/64 Mayan.

Those aren't for New Year's. Those are my everyday balloons.

We're not talking. We're just talking.

We couldn't say that we said it.

Maybe a nicer girl called.

Sales commission, bye-bye-o.

I want to walk away from the Yankees with people saying: 'Wow! Now, that guy got canned.'

So you want to go out in a final blaze of incompetence.

Or is this mouth-vacuum thing for real?

It's pronounced 'thermometer.'

You just think of a person, they'll be talking to you.

You forgot the gift certificate to Barnes & Noble.

Seinfeld, you magnificent bastard.

Isn't that Babe's Ruth uniform?

It's good. Juicy this time of year.

Will people be able to breathe under water in the year 2000?

Oh, no wonder we're getting so much rain.

Come celebrate the millennium with 'Newmannium.'

It's taken me 13 years to climb up to the top of that speed dial.

He wasn't really a sultan, huh? What do you make of that?

You don't think that nerve disease of his was contagious, do you?

My stepmother got to you, didn't she?

Think again, long shanks.

I started planning this in 1978. I put a deposit down on that restaurant that overlooks Times Square. And I booked Christopher Cross.

For me, the next millennium must be Jerry-free.

Never thought I'd fail at failing.

I'm Gladys Mayo.

This really sticks in my craw.

Why don't I put you on my speed dial?

Newmannium!

A short, stocky, bald man is streaking across the field.

He's wearing a flesh-toned body stocking. Apparently he's a bit bashful.

To the 'Kramennium.'

That's interesting because as everyone knows, since there was no year zero, the millennium doesn't begin until the year 2001, which would make your party one year late and thus quite lame.

I don't feel well at all. I feel all dried-out inside.

I hit the button for Poison Control and I get you.

Wow, Poison Control. That's even higher than number one.