Jims Inheritance

Hey, Perez, didn't I just tell you a couple of days ago that your father died? What? Oh, Perez, I meant to, uh... Oh...

Look, take the rest of the day off... Look, Perez, the Lord works in mysterious ways.

He never was. He lives in Boston.

A condo in Palm Beach?

Boy, how ironic. That's how much Dad weighed.

Garcia? You told Perez.

Ah, no!

The Yanks lost another one? Would I be this upset just 'cause the Yanks lost another game? Double-header? To Seattle.

The domino theory. You see, Steinbrenner ruins the spirits of the Yanks, they lose. Their fans become depressed and irritable... Before you know it, OPEC is raising its prices, and there's another war breaking out in South America.

I just heard the Russians launched another killer satellite. Steinbrenner.

A cake donut?! Oh. Jeff! This man is an attorney. Give me that box. Eight years of school. Here. A maple log.

Oh, this is my lucky day.

Who are you? I-I... I'm John Bickers, y-your father's attorney? Oh.

My father dropped me out of that when I dropped out of Harvard.

Three and a half million dollars.

I beg your pardon. I couldn't help overhearing.

Bless them.

That sounds pretty good.

I haven't had many fights in my life, but what I've had, I've won. I got my driver's license. I got my throat checked without a tongue depressor.

Or fail to do so!

Uh, competent.

This man is so far ahead of the rest of us that most people often mistake his wisdom for burnt-out brain cells.

Boss, if you feel like that about me, who cares about the money? Shut up, you idiot!

You know, it's one of the problems in this court that they tend to rerun Mr. Deeds Goes to Town as often as they do.

What about George Steinbrenner? Is a man competent that would let Reggie Jackson go to the Angels? That would go through four managers in one year?

Mr. Steinbrenner isn't the subject of this hearing... unfortunately.

That's as comfortable as I can get.

Nothing. Except that I wanted to invite everybody here to my victory party at the Pierre Hotel. We're going to have plenty of those big shrimp.

No, no. No, a decorator friend helped me.

I didn't know I graduated.

Wait! I'm crying. But am I crying because I lost you or because I didn't cry? Wait, I stopped. But I was crying. I didn't want to stop. I'm crying again. No, I stopped.

You like Stevie Wonder?

Good night, Mr. Walters!