When Michael and Jan try to nail down a potential new client, Christian, by taking him out to Chili's, Michael surprises everyone with what - or who - he does. Meanwhile, back at the office, Jim finds a semi-autobiographical script that Michael has written called Threat Level: Midnight, and he, Pam, Kevin, and the rest of the Dunder-Mifflin workers have a great time acting it out. Later that night, Pam and Jim share their first unofficial date, complete with dinner (a sandwich), candlelight, and Dwight's pathetic fireworks display.
Cringe-driven character comedy sustains 87-point score across 59 jokes in 22 minutes.
Directed by Greg Daniels · Written by Paul Lieberstein
WAR
69.6
Wins Above Replacement
“The Client” ranks #18 of 186 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 87.1 — Elite. The episode packs 59 scored jokes at 3.0 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Jim: So Michael wrote 'Dwigt' instead of 'Dwight' on purpose?
Dwight: It was clearly a typo.
Jim: A typo? Michael can't even spell your name after working with you for like eight years.
Michael: I know how to spell Dwight. D-W-I-G-H-T.
Jim: That's not how you spell it.
Michael: Yes it is.
Dwight: Actually, it's D-W-I-G-H-T. Wait, no. D-W-A-I-T. No. D-W-I-G-H-T. That's what I said.
Jim: It's D-W-I-G-H-T.
Michael: That's what I've been saying!
Jim Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Michael: Jan, I know this is hard. But sometimes a relationship is like a... like a house on fire. And you gotta get out. And then you set another house on fire because you're arson.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: A gentleman never tells. But a real gentleman? A real gentleman doesn't even know what happened.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael: Small Businessman Magazine said, 'Michael Scott is a shining example of American entrepreneurship.'
Dwight: That's amazing! Which issue?
Michael: Um, the... the March issue.
Dwight: I don't remember seeing that.
Michael: Well, it was a very small print run. Look, I'll just show you the quote.
Dwight: Okay.
Michael: Actually, I may have submitted that myself.
Michael Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Michael: You know what? Let's play a game. I'm thinking of something... it's a secret from your childhood that you've never told anyone.
Jan: Michael, that's not a game.
Michael: No, no, it'll be fun. Come on, just think about it. What's the worst thing that ever happened to you as a kid?
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 59 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael: Why would you dry clean jeans? That's like... dry cleaning a t-shirt.
Jim: People do dry clean t-shirts.
Michael: Well, those people are idiots.
Pam: Michael, those are your jeans.
Michael: Well, I'm an idiot.
Jim Pam Observational Character Comedy Pam: Michael's jeans fit him like a glove. He loves those jeans.
Jim: Yeah, I think he's in love with his jeans.
Pam: It's the mysterious but undeniable self-love.
Pam Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Michael: I have created a new company policy. Everyone must wear jeans on Fridays.
Pam: Michael, we already have casual Fridays.
Michael: Yes, but now it's mandatory jeans. These jeans are a perfect fit, and I want everyone to see them.
Pam Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Michael: Wait, wait, wait. Are those... are those from USA Today?
Jan: No, Michael, these are professional business analyses.
Michael: Because I only understand the ones with the little colored boxes and the big numbers. You know, the weather section.
Michael Character Comedy Observational Stanley: A big contract? Hmm. That's nice.
Stanley: Doesn't really change anything for me though.
Stanley Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael: Look, Chili's is basically the same as a country club. Both have appetizers, both have drinks, both have that feeling of exclusivity.
Jim: Michael, a country club costs thousands of dollars a year.
Michael: Exactly. And Chili's? Unlimited breadsticks. You do the math.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: Small Businessman Magazine said, 'Michael Scott is a shining example of American entrepreneurship.'
Dwight: That's amazing! Which issue?
Michael: Um, the... the March issue.
Dwight: I don't remember seeing that.
Michael: Well, it was a very small print run. Look, I'll just show you the quote.
Dwight: Okay.
Michael: Actually, I may have submitted that myself.
Michael Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Jan: I'd like to run the meeting today.
Michael: Wow, okay. So you want to run the meeting? That's a power trip. You know what? I see what's happening here. You're trying to take over. Classic power move.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Pam: My worst first date? He took me to a baseball game and then literally forgot about me. I was sitting in the stands and he just... left. Went to the parking lot without me.
Pam: I had to call my mom to pick me up. From a sporting event. On a first date.
Pam Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Jim: Wait, Roy forgot your birthday?
Pam: Yeah, he was working late that night.
Jim: Your birthday, Pam. Roy forgot your birthday.
Jim Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Jim Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Michael: We're going to have to burn the midnight oil on this one.
Michael: Actually, we're going to have to drink the midnight beer.
Michael Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Michael: I'm not shutting down the office because I want to. I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do. And when history looks back on this moment, they're going to say, 'Michael Scott made the tough call.' They're going to put it in business schools. 'The Michael Scott Decision of 2009.' It'll be right up there with the decision to drop the atomic bomb, except less people will die.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: Without me, this office would fall apart. I'm the glue that holds everything together.
Dwight: That's true, Michael. What would we do without you?
Michael: Exactly. I mean, you all need me to make decisions, to motivate you, to... to...
Pam: To what, Michael?
Michael: Well, honestly, you could probably do my job with your eyes closed. So I guess what I'm saying is... I'm not really necessary here.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: Everyone, I need you to stay right here. Do not move. Do not leave this room.
Michael: I'm serious. I don't care if there's a fire, if someone's dying, if Beyoncé walks through that door — you stay in this room.
Michael: This is not a drill, people. Blind obedience. That's what I'm asking for here.
Michael: A couple blocks? Jan, I know this city like the back of my hand. Chili's is at least... five blocks away. Maybe six. I'm very familiar with the layout.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Michael: Jan's so cold, she makes a corpse look like a space heater.
Michael Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jan: It's Jan Levinson-Gould.
Michael: Oh, so what happened to Levinson?
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Michael: Her divorce? Oh no. That's... that's terrible. You know what? I'm gonna go jump off the roof.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Absurdist ★ Rewatch Michael: Jan, I heard about your divorce. That's rough. But hey, you know what? I'm actually a pretty good listener. We could talk about it over dinner. Just the two of us. I could really help you through this.
Michael: I mean, I'm not a therapist or anything, but I play one in my head sometimes. And I think you'd really benefit from my... perspective.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy County Executive: We need to cut the budget by 15% across all departments.
Michael: Have you guys tried the spinach and artichoke dip? It's amazing.
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: I'd like to order an Awesome Blossom, but can you make it extra awesome?
Server: Um... sure. What would you like us to add?
Michael: Well, you know what would make it extra awesome? A whole other Awesome Blossom in the middle of it.
Pam: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Michael: To get to the other side. Yeah, yeah, I know that one. It's not funny.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Michael: Oh, I got a great joke. There's this lighthouse keeper, right? And a ship comes by, and the lighthouse keeper says 'Turn back!' And the captain says 'No, you turn back!' And the lighthouse keeper says 'I'm a lighthouse!' And the captain says 'I'm a ship!' So the captain turns back. Classic joke.
Michael: Boom! Did you see how good that was? That's why I'm in sales, not comedy. Well, I'm in sales because I'm good at sales. But I could be in comedy.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Jim: Michael's character is called 'Blood Gutter.' He's a secret agent... who's also a sensitivity trainer.
Jim: He has a 'lethal sense of humor.'
Jim Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jim: Yeah, so in a screenplay, drawings are... they're visual aids. For the director. So he knows what the scene should look like.
Jim: Michael drew a guy with a big butt. So I'm guessing that's what this scene should look like.
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Michael: A doctor drives a white car. A lawyer drives a black car. And a proctologist drives a brown Probe.
Michael: That's what she said! *laughs hysterically while choking on a sandwich, spraying crumbs everywhere* Oh man, oh man... I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe... there's mayo in my nose now... *continues cackling uncontrollably*
Michael Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Callback Dwight: I don't understand why I have to read this script. It's poorly written, the dialogue is stilted, and the main character is insufferably arrogant.
Jim: Well, Dwight, I have good news. We're giving you the lead role.
Dwight: What? Really?
Jim: Yeah, you'd be perfect as Michael.
Jim Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Jan: Michael, we need to discuss the Sanderson account seriously.
Michael: I know, I know. But first—when you're here, you're family!
Jan: What are you doing?
Michael: Chili's jingle. Come on, sing with me!
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Michael: 🎵 I want my baby back baby back baby back chili's 🎵
County Executive: 🎵 Baby back baby back baby back chili's 🎵
Phyllis: Michael said to tell you that he's very flattered, but he's not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you.
Phyllis Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Phyllis: I played Mutie the Mailman in Oklahoma!
Phyllis: He was a man who delivered mail, but he was also mute. So he couldn't talk to anyone about the mail.
Phyllis Deadpan/Understatement Observational ★ Rewatch Kevin Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Kevin: Yo, what up homie? That's what Samuel L. Chang would say. Word.
Kevin Character Comedy Absurdist Stanley Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jim Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jim: So Michael wrote 'Dwigt' instead of 'Dwight' on purpose?
Dwight: It was clearly a typo.
Jim: A typo? Michael can't even spell your name after working with you for like eight years.
Michael: I know how to spell Dwight. D-W-I-G-H-T.
Jim: That's not how you spell it.
Michael: Yes it is.
Dwight: Actually, it's D-W-I-G-H-T. Wait, no. D-W-A-I-T. No. D-W-I-G-H-T. That's what I said.
Jim: It's D-W-I-G-H-T.
Michael: That's what I've been saying!
Jim Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Dwight Reaction Beat Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: You know what? Let's play a game. I'm thinking of something... it's a secret from your childhood that you've never told anyone.
Jan: Michael, that's not a game.
Michael: No, no, it'll be fun. Come on, just think about it. What's the worst thing that ever happened to you as a kid?
Michael Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Michael: Jan, I know this is hard. But sometimes a relationship is like a... like a house on fire. And you gotta get out. And then you set another house on fire because you're arson.
Michael Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch I had plans to meet a friend tonight, which I had to cancel. But this is cool, too. I'm not a complainer.
Jim: I made you a sandwich.
Pam: That's so sweet!
Jim: Yeah, well, don't leave it out too long. It attracts insects.
Jim Character Comedy Observational Michael: I'm not just talking about numbers and spreadsheets. I'm talking about heart, passion, the soul of this company!
Christian: That's great, Michael, but we still need to cut the budget by 15%.
Michael: We did it! We got the contract! This is the best day of my life!
Jan: Yeah. Okay.
Jan Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Michael: We're going to Chili's because it rhymes with... squeaky cheese!
Michael Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Dwight: Michael's car isn't here. He's been in an accident. Or kidnapped. Or both.
Jim: Or maybe he's just late.
Dwight: No. Kidnapped and in an accident.
Dwight Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Michael: A gentleman never tells. But a real gentleman? A real gentleman doesn't even know what happened.
Michael Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Dwight: So what happened with Jan Levinson-Gould?
Michael: It's just Jan now. We got divorced.
Dwight: I thought you two were together.
Michael: We were. Now we're not.
Michael Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jan is a very classy woman. She's elegant, she's sophisticated. She wears great clothes. And she has a very nice...
Michael: ...body.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Michael: Jan, if you're listening to this, I want you to know that I would cross a thousand deserts for you. I would climb the highest mountain. I would swim through shark-infested waters. And I would do all of that in khakis.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Dwight: Michael's screenplay characters are clearly a metaphor for his relationship with Jan. The male lead represents Michael's need for dominance, while the female lead represents Jan's... complications.
Jim: Dwight, it's just a bad screenplay.
Dwight: You're not reading between the lines, Jim. Nobody ever does.
Dwight Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: Wait, so if I'm dating someone in the office, I have to register it with HR? That seems like Big Brother to me.
Pam: It's just so they know about any potential power dynamics.
Michael: Power dynamics? I'm a man. She's a woman. That's not a power dynamic, that's just nature.
Jim: Michael, you're her boss.
Michael: Exactly. So the power is... balanced.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Michael: What? No. I wasn't talking to the camera. I don't even know what you're talking about. There is no camera.
Michael Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jan: It was a mistake.
Michael: A beautiful mistake.
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jan: Michael, this isn't working. We need to end this.
Michael: Wait, wait, wait. End this? Jan, that's... that's huge. We're taking the next step. I'm gonna go tell everyone. We're official!
Michael Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Jim: So we went to this little place, had some wine, some cheese...
Jim: And then we went to see this screening of an independent film.
Jim: It was this terrible screenplay reading. Like, community theater bad.
Jim: But Pam was just laughing the whole time. We were laughing together.
Jim: It was perfect.
Jim Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Jim: Oh come on, swaying is dancing. It's like when you went on that date with that guy who only talked about his divorce.
Jim Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jim: What are you talking about? This is a date.
Pam: No it's not.
Jim: Yes it is.
Pam: Jim, I'm engaged.
Jim: I know.
Jim Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch ⏩ The part you fast-forward
Our scorer flagged 13:00-14:00 range with fewer strong comedy beats as the stretch with the fewest or weakest comedic moments. Everything else lands harder.
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