Golden Ticket

Character trying to tell knock-knock joke while someone is on phone, creating overlapping dialogue chaos

Buddha this bread for me, won't you?

There's butter on my desk

We will ask the questions.

Mine was retribution.

The KGB will wait for no one.

I am not Michael. I am Willy Wonka!

These are extraordinary jelly beans!

profiligate

Too many words. Good ideas are simple... Golden ticket.

NASA took five or six golden ticket ideas to get men on the Moon.

No, you don't.

I'm a textbook over-thinker.

I like your dress, but I'd like it more if you had prettier hair.

Guys with girlfriends don't.

That's low, Tuna.

Was it a spoiled little girl with big lips? Or an odd little boy with a cowboy obsession?

You found five golden tickets? And does it say 'Limit one per customer'? Nope, it doesn't.

You idiot. Start over.

What is a pallet?

There's a one in thirteen chance that this could be anybody's golden ticket idea.

He's not back from the civil rights rally. I'll have him call you the minute he gets back from the Lincoln Memorial.

An Obama fashion show. Whatever that is. Or 'Trapped in an oil painting.'

The good news is... they can't fire all of us, right? They can. No, they can't. Yes, they can.

I am just a net that traps all of your crappy subconscious ideas and adds a little bit of my own childhood memories and whimsy

It is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. That is why carnations exist.

Does that mean an idea that blows up in our faces later?

Why don't you skip on up to the roof and jump off?

He's having a colonoscopy.

My colonoscopy was an examination of my large colon and the distal part of my small bowel with a camera.

There is an explanation that involves me not letting it happen. And I just don't... I don't... know.

We might have hired an outside marketing consultant. We might have hired... OK, what firm? You're breaking up.

I just wanted to congratulate you on that great golden ticket idea. That was your idea. Who told you that? You did. Several times.

I wrote it down in my diary. You don't keep a diary. Yes, I do. You've just never seen it.

To keep secrets from my computer.

I wasn't given candy as a child, so a movie that fetishized it that much would have made no sense to me. Plus we weren't allowed to see movies.

Like that? No. Stop it.

Put your heart out there like that, it's liable to just turn into this blackened carbon brick. It has barbecue sauce of shame and rage.

Nacho chips. I was thinking about how the skin is the largest organ of the body.

I did fall on my sword once. I was running with it in my belt. Won't happen again.

I have an idea for a fancy men's shoe store called Shoe La La, and it's just men's shoes for the special occasions in a man's life

Although I probably will never do it again, I had fun. I really had fun with my best friend, Dwight.

He can do the same, right now, by getting fired instead of you.

I just want to say that this golden ticket idea is one of the most brilliant initiatives I've ever seen at this company, and how about a big round of applause for Mr. Dwight Schrute!

That's what she said.

Never know when it's gonna strike. How did it pop into your head? Just... 'boom.'

You've been talking about that movie for years. I even made fun of you when you dressed up as Willy Wonka to pitch this idea

There's not a dog listening in? I hear panting.

There is no movie called Willy Wonka. It's called Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

It's a net, a circular net you put inside the toilet to catch your change and your wallet from falling into the toilet?

Horse boat! A canoe built around your horse so you can go from riding to water travel without slowing down.

Everybody has to go to the bathroom.

It's Michael's idea that he forced on me on threat of death!

I do want the credit without any of the blame.

Nice. Boobs.

I just got out of the shower. One second. When you are done, open the door.

We have other houses to visit. If you wanna come back then, that'd be fine. We'll come back at... How is 4:45? I get home from work around 6:00. How about 5:15?