New Boss

15-minute round of applause followed by 15-minute moment of silence

Michael agreeing with Jim because he's wearing a tux

Like the opening of a car dealership. That's it. Or Mr. Peanut.

He is a regular peanut. He just happens to have a cane, a monocle and a top hat. That's what makes him classy.

Dwight suggests the exact same ice sculpture idea twice, Michael rejects it then accepts it

I said that!

Déclassé. French! Classy.

Miner? I hardly know her!

It is Prince Charles Miner! At your service. Sir Charles Miner

Charles awkwardly standing there as Michael orchestrates elaborate entrance

Dwight stalling with Scranton coal mining history

I turned the bagels from O's into C's, for Charles. Took me all night.

This is what you did last night?

The former was my lover, and the latter my best friend

Oh, my God, he's like a black George Clooney.

Jim's elaborate tux explanation falling flat with Charles

Not more crazy than wearing a tux at work.

Took him 40 minutes to get ready.

Nerd alert!

Michael oversharing Oscar's entire romantic history

She has slept with a bunch of different guys in the office. The one over there, in the orange.

Kevin has no sexual history. Hey!

Michael, I don't need to know everyone's sexual history.

Michael claiming he didn't want to worry people while Charles reveals bad news

What about your party?

I am thrilled that the new boss has taken such an active interest in all of the responsibilities that I'm supposed to have. Thrilled.

Truth be told, I think I thrive under a lack of accountability.

If we hire Cirque du Soleil as salaried employees, will that help us with the year-end tax stuff?

African-Americans have such a rich history of unusual names.

No, I worked at a company called Saticoy Steel.

Jan would mostly come by when she was super horny

Call me ASAP as possible.

Michael Scotch... I've got David Wallace's son in the trunk of my car

Charles picking up phone meant for Michael

Charles brings lunch on same day Michael brought breakfast

Nobody thanked me for breakfast except Charles.

I think it's a little hypercritical.

Kevin asking for overtime after Charles just said no overtime

Michael and Charles repeating each other

He just skipped the Ace Ventura talking-butt thing. He never skips it. This is bad.

Cupcakes and strippers all the way down.

You pet the animals, they pet you back.

Headline. You have been here one day. End of story. End of story! End of story!

You don't put paper into a furnace! If you put paper into a furnace, you know what would happen? You'd ruin it!

Dwight explaining his fake assistant position

Michael listing weird life sacrifices to David Wallace

And for my next trick, I will make my career disappear.

Kelly talking about half black, half Indian kids to no one

I think he left. What? Move!

He does not need to go dumpster-diving for companionship

You have no idea how high I can fly.