Michael Scott Paper Company

It's britney,bitch. And I am back in the form of a new company- the michael scott paper company.

Okay. Not gonna make this one.

Love thhair.

They took away my parking space, but they can't take away my pride.

Welcome... To theichael scott paper company.

You realize you're not actually talking to me,right?

So kelly kapoor has decided to hover around my desk so that she can run into charles' office every time he calls for kelly. She thinks that if she says 'you wanted me,' enough, he will,in fact,want her. It's not the worst plan she's ever had.

If we're changing names,can I be erin? It's my middle name.

Well,you know what my middle name is? Rajani ghanda- and I hate it! Ihateit!

I thought rajani ghanda was a boy's name.

Six yeses,one maybe,only 11 nos. Um,and 788 not yet replieds. But of that group,782 have viewed it.

It is a coupon for unparalled customer service.

I make that one copy and I become the girl who makes copies. And by the end of the day i'm receptionist again. And the worst part is,I like making copies. The paper comes out all warm and stuff. And it's cold in there,'cause it's technically a closet.

Oh,no! Clearly a hunter... Who knows how to throw an outfit together.

I studied him to figure out why I hated him so much. But that blossomed into a very real friendship,as these things ofn.

She'd probably be a six in new york, but she's,like,a ven here in scranton.

What the hell is a rundown?

I'm gonna dive into the rundown. I'll be exhausted,'cause 's like a triathlon.

A woman was murdered on this very floor in 18. haddie mcgonagle she was a prostitute.

No,this whole place used to be a brothel. There was a tavern on the ground floor.

She was bludgeoned to death by the business end of a riding crop.

Just kidding.

Oh,this is awkward.

That is so insulting. How is it insulting to say that you're good at something? Because the thing that you're saying i'm good at is pushing a big green button a bunch of times.

I could run gm,but I couldn't fix a car. It's not saying that one is better than the other.

I need somebodto make a copy of this! Because I don't make copies. I'm the boss. Got it? I make originals.

Hey,you been watching damagesthis year? It's so good. No,you gotta tune in. It's as good as anything on hbo.

you miss 100% of the shots you don't take - Wayne Gretzky " - Michael Scott

That's me and my friend jasmine,from thailand. I don't want to look at your friend jasmine's boobs all day.

You could be hot too if you made any effort aall. Like how? Dying my hair blonde? This is from the sun.

They're getting on my nerves,mom. Both of them. R thinks he's too good to be here, and p is not as much fun without jim.

Michael,we can hear you. I'm on the phone. Please. Mom,i'm gonna have to call you back. P is being a giant b.

They always say that it is a mistake to hire your friends. And they are right. So I hired my best friends. And this is what I get?

When I saw you talking to erin earlier, I noticed that your pupils dilated and your skin flushed. And i'm assuming a little bit of blood rushed into your penis.

Well,a little bit of blood rushed into mine as well.

I'm a better wing man than I am a boyfriend,so... I just want you and I to hang out,you know. Just... Boom.

There are four corners in this room. Each corner is to be a personal space for each one of yo whichever corner you want. And make it your own.

One,two,three,what are we gonna do? Cner idea. No,you're supposed to say rock the house! How would we know that?

His rundown better be really good. I don't know. But it sounds like the rundown is really important.

He did a doughnut in the parking lot in front of a cop. And then he yells,'hey,cop,you like doughnuts?' then we drive off. No,he just stayed there.

Pam,that's my corner. I thought that was your corner. No,this is where I work. I can't relax in the same corner where I work. So my corner's the one with the copier?

Pam,i don't make the rules.

Oh,this is just something i'm taking a break with. But I will get back to the rundown,uh,right now.

You're working hard on this? No,not- not too hard. Not harder than I should. Right. I mean,why work harder than you should?

I'm just gonna sit here for a little bit longer,if that's okay. The air smells so good. I don't remember it smelling so good. The chairs are so comfortable.

Maybe the michael scott paper company was a huge mistake. I should leave. I should go and start my own paper company. That'll show 'em.

I'm texting. I don't want to get my hands sticky.

Just faxing my dad a rundown.

A little scrap of paper.

These are terrible,bs. You've gotta make 'em in a circle so that they cook evenly. They're shaped like paper. I don't even want these.

It's really technically proficient,but you know, there's really no heart or soul in it.

you have to stop.

I once had dream that I was eating a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich. And let me tell you something,it was delicious. So the next day I decided to make that sandwich. And in real life it is disgusting. It is a disgusting sandwich.

God! Don't tell him we have free delivery. We already offered free delivery. They don't know that.

And I guarantee... That you will be satisfied. 'Cause your satisfaction is our guarantee. We guarantee it.

Who would have thought that the thing that wld save this company would be work?

I realize that we don't have the biggest office. Which is a surprise because 165 square feet sounds like a lot...

someone went to the bathroom.

Literally,every song is better a ppella. Name a song. Cherry pie. Warrant. Better a cappella. Really? Yeah.