The Incentive

Kevin suddenly speaking in caveman-like broken English: 'Me doing now! Go. Stop worry.'

Kevin's physical description: 'Me feel good. Body strong. Sleep big last night.'

Oscar's pretentious interpretation: 'It's an ironic comment on our expectations of him. A funhouse image of our model of Kevin.'

Kevin's mechanic analogy: 'Me mechanic not speak English. But he know what me mean when me say, "car no go," and we best friends.'

Kevin's philosophy: 'Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?'

Jim's comparison: 'The speech equivalent to just wearing underpants.'

Kevin's response: 'Sometimes, words you no need use but need-need for talk-talk.'

Time-saving irony: 'Does it save time, though? 'Cause we've been here for about an hour.'

Kevin's time philosophy: 'Many small time make big time.'

Kevin's life goal: 'See world.'

The SeaWorld confusion: 'Kevin, are you saying "see the world" or "seaworld"?'

Kevin's clarification: 'See world. Oceans, fish, jump. China.'

Kevin's presidential ambition: 'When me president, they see. They see.'

The Sabre Pyramid tablet introduction

Marketing slogan: 'unleash the power of the pyramid'

Memory measurement confusion: '50 L' and 'How many L to a K?'

Andy interrupting for tie advice during important meeting

Andy's nickname system: 'C-span' for Oscar

Explaining the nickname: 'Cocker spaniel. Spaniel 'cause of your Spanish bloodline, cocker 'cause...'

Dwight's strategy: 'I'm going to not care. And I'm gonna sit around quietly waiting for Andy's inevitable demise.'

Andy's Neil Patrick Harris reference confusion

Kevin quoting Andy calling his ex-wife a [bleep] and saying he [bleep] hated her guts

Andy's song about shower sex with his ex-wife

Andy's ice cream guessing game with Robert

The cold coffee incident - Erin serving old coffee as 'cold beverage'

Andy claiming he's 'been craving a freezing cup of old coffee' to cover for Erin

Robert's business philosophy about personal service vs superstores

The doubling sales demand and Andy's overconfidence

Jim and Pam's suggestion to talk about how children grow up fast during business meeting

Jim suggesting 'Fart' as a business solution

Andy's leg falling asleep during his own meeting

Andy singing 'Rub a dub dub with the apricot scrub' while working

Darryl's sexual innuendo about barely being able to walk

Dwight's beet farm struggles: 'We made some inroads in salad, but heirloom tomatoes are pushing back'

Pam's parenting magazine obsession: 'This is Cece's favorite magazine. She loves the pictures of babies. She looks at it when she's on the potty'

Andy's incentive prize reveal under the blanket

Oscar asking 'Is that a vibrator?' about the prizes

Andy's escalating tattoo promises: dress (500 points), naked run (1,000 points), ass tattoo (5,000 points)

Doughnut on dingdong description for the 1,000 point reward

'The stern of the old SS Bernard' - Andy referring to his butt

Stanley's motivation transformation from naptime to active work

Jim's big sale netting 120 points while claiming not to care about points

Andy calling his business school professor about 'classic ass-tattoo incentive situations'

Tattoo design: 'I'm not as think as you drunk I am'

Alternative tattoo: 'Do not resuscitate'

Phyllis's baby coming out of butt tattoo design suggestion

Andy's realization: 'But my ass is only so big. I mean, I can't do this every day.'

Andy's declaration: 'Let's ink my stink!'

Andy's philosophy: 'My heart belongs to music. But my ass belongs to these people.'

Andy's reaction to cotton swab: 'That was just a cotton swab.' 'Invest in softer cotton, sir.'

Robert's analysis: 'Because he's all surface, uncomplicated. What you see is what you get.'

Final tattoo reveal: 'It's a nard dog.'

Robert's final observation: 'There's something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional.'

Angela calling social services on Pam for drinking herbal tea while pregnant