The Rural Juror

Phone conversation escalating from 'I need $60,000' to 'I need $100,000, or I'm gonna lose both my houses!'

Tracy escalates from needing $60,000 to $100,000 when asked 'which house?'

Tracy's money manager is Grizz, who lost everything in Worldcom

You must know Arsenio. Hall or Billingham?

For the first time in your life, you'll be in a room full of women and you'll be the least crazy one.

The Rurr-Jurr has a limited release next week

You still don't know what the title is? No! No one does. It's gone on way too long to ask her about it.

I love that we can work while we're on cocaine!

Could it be Roar Her, Gem Her? No, that doesn't make any sense. It's got to be Oral Germ Whore.

What's up, flabby butt? You look weird today.

You mean John Grisham. Oh, no. Kevin, John's brother.

Pete successfully says 'The Rural Juror' clearly

Did you know that before Kevin was a novelist, he worked at a recycling center?

It's called Urban Fervor. Boy, these titles-- They really make you think.

'Urban Fervor' as sequel title

You remember that neighborhood festival where they killed a goat in the street? Yes! But we did have really good luck that year.

Oh, you mean Jesus? No-- Miguel from set design. He's over there.

Eurek-o!

Although, I guess it's no surprise that Tony Hawk can't play blind.

The Rural Juror. The Rrr-- Rural. The Ruh-- Rural. Eh.

You looked so beautiful. [awkward pause] The lighting was really neat.

Ethan and I both thought the programs were really easy to read.

Tired of your sandwich making you angry? Then behold the Tracy Jordan Meat Machine!

Bologna, salami, boar-- Whatever! Into this sexy lady and she will melt them all together into one delicious food ball.

Never again will you have to suffer through the bread part of your sandwich.

Meat is the new bread! Uh-huh!

Hi, I'm Whoopi Goldberg. And you're Working Out With Whoopi.

GE owns KitchenAll of Colorado, which owns JMI of Stanford, which owns Pokerfastlane.com, which owns Sheinhardt Wig Company, which owns NBC outright. NBC owns Winnipeg Iron Works which owns Ahp Chanagi Party Meats corporation of Pyongyang, North Korea.

I've got two ears and a heart, don't I?

The Rrr-Jrr

Jenna plays a southern lawyer named Constance Justice.

Justice has been served. Good stuff.

The soundtrack was so moody.

[Flashback montage of Liz's fake compliments]

Well, that's not how I remember any of that.

It's only 90 minutes. It's kind of a train wreck.

What were they? Oaks?

I've always said humans need more animal blood. It keeps the spine straight.

Some reds, yellows... Just got some purples in from Peru.

The Rrr Jrr is the true story of Rory Jerner, whose pure furor ensures a terrible murder--

Her last two Google searches were for singles yoga and scalp pain.

I had to let Tony watch me pee to get that tape.

I think the entire sketch is a train wreck.

Teenmoviescene.com gave it five out of five iPods.

[Liz accidentally hits someone in a costume] Oh, God, I'm sorry! I didn't know there was a person in there!

Pete, could you tell Jenna she smells like a stripper?

I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

I can barely keep a lid on the feud going on between Kenneth and Dougie from props.

Hi, I'm Doctor Leo Spaceman. I'm a working physician with a degree from the Ho Chi Minh City School of Medicine.

We have no way of knowing because the powerful bread lobby keeps stopping my research!

Actually, we all kind of liked it. It's not the best thing in the world, but it's solid and Jenna's really good in it.

I guess because I look weird, I can't be perceptive.

I guess because I look weird, I can't be perceptive.

Cheese and crackers, that smarts!

She doesn't even need those glasses.

Not the Ukraine. I own some property on the Dnieper River. In Volyn? Closer to Cherkasy.

If it wasn't for me, you'd still be slutting it up for car dealership owners so they'd put you in their commercial.

This slut slept with your brother! Mitch? Yeah, and let me tell you something about Mitch. He is disgusting in bed.

You know he's not right. He was in a really bad skiing accident!

She came at me with that angry little badger face of hers-- There it is right now.

They've adapted The Rural Juror? I'm a huge Kevin Grisham fan.

They did warn me those diet pills were mood altering.

You have brown hair.

Yeah, but you couldn't have been serious about acting for a living. You have brown hair.

This is boring. I'm bored now.

Goldberg or Billingham?

Your father Werner was a burger server in suburban Santa Barbara... When he spurned your mother Verna for a curly-haired server named Roberta, did that hurt her?