Avery Jessup

And the food in his beard tells us that he purchased a snack pack on the train from New Haven.

Just sit a couple out, Stein, god.

It's 3:30 in the morning in Geneva, Jack. Who's your call with? The hooker working the corner outside Raiffeisenbank?

Look, despite what happened in the shower last night, I'm a pretty traditional girl.

I'll tell him it's a guy I'm having sex with

Do you think it was easy for me to cut ties from my old mentor, Pat O'Brien, after he shaved his moustache?

Do you think it was easy for me to cut ties from my old mentor, Pat O'Brien, after he shaved his moustache?

According to my sources, the clear frontrunner current G.E. executive, Jack Donaghy... with the programming experience, business savvy, and piercing, blue eyes of a Siberian husky

I'm going to celebrate by buying my lady friend that necklace she pointed out and then, cooking her a Western omelette

Think slutty Grace Kelly.

Money bunny Avery Jessup steps out with sexecutive Jack Donaghy.

The sportscaster who bites ladies.

Don't ask how I got them. But I do know the access code to his pyramid.

That is a swing.

But these tactics have worked on stupider women.

You think I don't want to know what Pizzarina Sbarro is going to be wearing?

I'm on Dodecacil, the pill where you only get your period once a year. We're so close to beating that thing completely.

What's that supposed to mean, you dumb douche? Oh, it's starting.

Aloha means hello and goodbye. So, aloha.

Does the 'o' have it? 'o,' we do. Do you 'o'? 'o,' no? Let go. 'o.'

Is their gay juice in the champagne?

I wipe the floor with that bitch.

I wipe the floor with that bitch.

That Russian skank read the ultrasound wrong.

So she can ride the maid! It is adorable.

Lemon went to middle school with a Charlotte who used to rub herself against a tree during recess.

Maybe you and Liz can raise it.

Crazy hormone swing.

Why does everything smell like onions?

That's why I like dating older men. Their parents are usually dead or senile, so there's never an argument about the holidays.

By the way, we have a tradition in my family where we let the child name itself. Oh, yeah, that's hippie nonsense. Absolutely not. Well, suit yourself, but my son Spider-Man turned out just fine.

My gift to you is the feeling of superiority you'll have for the next two seconds.

Because, you know, when you're pregnant, one bottle of wine a day, and that's it.

To what, Jack? Be a mouthpiece for Federalism and then die in a duel against someone named Aaron? Is that what you want our daughter to be? A big government duel loser?

I'm still in Girl Scouts. I have 9,000 badges.

Who's ready for Skype sex? No, no, no. This is the Liddy call.

I don't know why our daughter would be afraid of Reagan.

You people have too much money.

Do you want to watch me eat jelly beans... real slow? Yes.

I told them it was my razor. I have to shave my legs with it, but they have an app for that.

Did you also call Sally Ride and her sister?

I'm sorry I taste like Korean cigarettes. Tobacco's the only thing with protein over there. Their meat is just deflated kickballs.

I heard her ask her bear who the dye job is.

Kim Jong-Il could not be reached for comment because he was having a totally normal day being alive and not dead.

I thought I was playing you, and you were playing me the whole time. And in 24 hours, I got you to tell me things it would have taken you years to admit.

I was living in an exact replica of Cinderella's castle that Kim Jong-Un had built for his shoe collection.

I kept my sea monkeys alive for 30 years.

I mean, if we wanted this thing to succeed, why would we ask Liz to officiate?