Jonathan

But he sent you here to tell me to apologize. Exactly. I penciled you in for 3:00. This conversation never happened.

He seems very taken with Floyd. And you, of course.

He looks the way you did when I tried to hold your hand on the jet.

Bob Logan from Texas Instruments is gonna be there? Logan must be in contention for the CEO spot as well.

when I say subway, you say hero. / - Subway. - Hero?

He was a major tv star in the '40s, '50s and the fall of 1972

I will remember you? Will you remember me? Doobie-doo, doobie-doo? Don't let your life pass you by?

You won't be coming in at all? But what about 'Jackonathon?'

Nothing. I don't know.

But I thought you were the oldest, sir. Oldest boy.

Can't leave if living is without you / okay, last verse, jonathan. / i can't live!

Evidently, the concierge at the plaza 'has a beard,' and she'd rather not get raped.

let's hit the meadowlands racetrack on the way home. i've got a betting system based on horse penis size.

yes, but i have a system.

not with a bang, but with a whimper. a whimper indeed, jack.

I tried once. I bought him a $95 bottle of olive oil. In return, he got my sister out of a North Korean jail!

Even if I get into law school, I won't go!

One time, I ran over an old lady in Arizona and just kept driving.

Maybe we are legend. You're Will Smith and I'm the dog

But if anything should happen to me, I want you to read, Oh, the Places You'll Go at my funeral

I apologize for letting a Kashmiri into your office.

But, sir, I was born in Palo Alto.

Yeah, hurry up, Aladdin. Before Jasmine is forced to marry Jafar.

Does it mean that what happened can be used to power a lumbermill?

We put a bunch of people on a plane, fly them over the Atlantic, then Tom Bergeron comes out and reveals that the pilot is a six year-old boy. We call it 'Child Hell Flight.'

My pinky. - No, sir. - Then you wouldn't be perfect anymore.

No, watch! I'll cut off my pinky and tell him it's yours.

I thought you said you didn't need any more friends.

Halliburton, bitch. So what?

Oh, so gay men can't be conservative? You're so 'norant. That's short for ignorant.

May Durga's trident pierce them from the skies!

Sir, if you say one more syllable, that's a haiku.

Oh, you've just made a very dangerous enemy, Kenneth

Hey, Mrs. Dongy, you wan' come on down my birfday party?

My grandmother was seriously ill. I went to Salinas to feed and bathe her. - I'm sorry. - I still don't like you.

This woman is pokemoning me. She's blind-copied you, but if you just click this plus sign...

Well, she's wearing it pulled back, but it's not working. Exactly, because of her ears.

"I never told you this, but I once came up late at night looking for Jack, and you were in a wedding dress dancing with one of his suits."

"They burned you in effigy! The hair went up like a Roman candle."

I never told you this, but I once came up late at night looking for Jack, and you were in a wedding dress dancing with one of his suits.

There! You're no longer special to him. Get out! Get out of our lives! Yes!