The Natural Order

I had Grizz call him at 8:00 this morning and pretend it was 11:00. I printed up that fake rehearsal schedule for him, Saying we were starting at 9:00 instead of noon. Oh, and I set all his watches and clocks to say P.M. when it's really A.M.

I took my son to his cello recital this morning at what turned out to be midnight yesterday!

You treat me like one of those little pageant girls with the clip-on teeth.

Irregardless!

You know what? Race card. No, don't accept it!

There's a restaurant hostess in midtown I'd like to see cry.

Including more than one Unitarian!

And I once made love to Kathy Hilton.

What is this, the Italian parliament?

Evidently, the concierge at the plaza 'has a beard,' and she'd rather not get raped.

Tracy hasn't come back yet, But he did sent a gibbon to rehearse in his place.

[laughs] he's pretty good.

Dear racist Liz Lemon... this is how you treat me, like a white-whiskered gibbon put on this earth to do nothing but dance around for your amusement And reduce the insect population of Malaysia.

Why? The gibbon is on time, he knows his blocking, And he doesn't try to bite the dancers!

Time jump!

Don't patronize me with your Celtic slang, Liz Lemon.

What do you care? You voted for Nader!

Then tomorrow, I'm sending a regular town car for you Instead of one of those duck tour boats.

And you're no longer allowed to point at women In the cafeteria and yell, 'I wanna get that pregnant!'

Fine, I'll bring my lunch from home.

[Extended mutual laughter escalation]

You humiliate Tracy in front of everybody like that, You give him two choices... one, he won't show up tomorrow, And you'll look like a fool in front of your crew. Or two, he will show up... and he'll find an even worse way to act out.

Paul, this is Jack, my son. Jack, this is Paul Brett.

Paul lives in Florida. He paints landscapes and he makes his own soda.

Great! I'll call the restaurant. See if they can seat a third wheel.

Now let's get outta here Before we realize we've forgotten about something.

That wasn't me screaming in the bathroom.

Well, don't worry. Once it tries to mate with a child, I'm sure animal control will just shoot it.

Oh, he loves me! Somebody loves me. I'm gonna name him little Jenna And let him live in my dressing room.

When the waiter brought over the food, he said, 'abbondanza.'

Have you ever been to Florida? It's basically a criminal population. It's America's Australia.

Let's...Not make this about you, okay?

You know, this food area Is always the first place I go to look for you...

Professional is my middle name. No need. I've got it memorized.

I'm going to do a Valentino cross, Camera right, then dump the laugh. So stay on your fours, guys! One, two, three, jump and pose!

Not Indians. Not whatever this guy is.

I'm taking a photography class. Look at the way the sunlight hits that cobweb.

For instance, I'm wearing a child's Halloween costume Under this.

His costume is hiding his erection.

She bit off my nut sack That I kept tied around my belt to feed squirrels.

I realize I'm never getting married Because of my gland thing... But I wanna have a bachelor party.

It's like orange-flavored egg! It's in my mouth!

Well, I pay you a little less, yes.

That's the quantum leap intro.

Who would be our current Nikita Khrushchev? Mm...Simon Cowell?

Now you're standing on the very spot Where Gracie Allen took Jack Paar's virginity.

Little Jenna had a baby last night.

Let's go see some naked daughters and moms!

I bet you can, you son of a bitch.

My credit card company called to confirm My purchase of a book entitled intercourse after hip surgery.

That's right. I just called you a communist.

It's Florida, Jack! It's like it never stopped being the '70s down there.

It's Florida, Jack! It's like it never stopped being the '70s down there. And a guy like Paul, who can drive at night, You just don't say no to that!

That man left and came back so many times That I totally lost count! One night, he went out to move the car, And he was gone... From the spring of '57 until... One night he just showed up out of the blue! 'put your shoes on, Collie. We're goin' to see some like it hot.'

You're nothing like him, you know. No way you ever could be.

It's, uh, 6:00.

Say you like my body.

[crying] I don't wanna be here! I don't like it here! Who's this guy?

You said you loved me! Your foot fingers are so strong!

One of those strippers took of Lutz's shirt. That gland thing is no joke!

We're dressing monkeys up as people, And monkeys are playing with people as toys!

The gibbon did not attack Jenna. He was trying to mate with her face.

1959. Boy, it would have been fun to write back then. You could get away with crazy plot twists Because audiences were so much less sophisticated.

This movie came out in 1959? How could my father have been gone From the spring of '57 until 1959 if I was conceived in '58... Jimmy Donaghy's not my father.

This movie came out in 1959? How could my father have been gone From the spring of '57 until 1959 if I was conceived in '58...

[gasps] Twist!