Bringing Up Buster

Son of a bitch! Oh, look what you did! You plopped it! I'll plop you!

Never touch that.

Or, you could not eat the cornballs and let your kid lead his own life.

Let's not blame the bike, okay? It's the poor carpenter that blames his shoddy tools for the... Ow!

That stupid cornballing piece of...

With what? Company credit card. You're returning that. Get a job.

I thought these things were only legal in Mexico. In fact, the Cornballer wasn't legal anywhere.

No borders. No limits. 'Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. You know best.'

You're still not an actor.

Am I touching something? Hot! Hot, hot. Hot.

Now watch this. Maeby, where are you off to on this glorious Sunday afternoon? She won't tell me. I'm going to audition for a play.

I was totally wrong. She's reaching out to her actor daddy.

And then we actually get to kiss, right?

And then there's a kiss, right? Louder. And then there's a kiss, right?

Steve Holt! Steve Holt! Stand-in for Steve Holt? Steve Holt!

It'll fly out on its own. Why are you calling me? What do you need?

What is it with this family and working?

You run around with everyone else, going on bike rides, making cornholes.

Everyone's laughing, riding and cornholing except Buster.

This is not going to be a day at the beach. That's cool. Mom packed me a change of clothes.

Yeah. Mom's awesome.

Maybe we should call her.

Is this a business decision, or is it personal? 'Cause if it's business, I'll go away happily. But if it's personal, I'll go away. But I won't be happy.

It's personal.

I am so sorry.

Yeah. I just love the theater. That's great. I'm just doing it to kiss Steve Holt.

Well, actually, I think I'm gonna quit. Yeah, theater's dead.

But, no. No. I love the theater... and I gave my word, so I'm back in.

Oh, my God.

That just makes me wanna puke all over your head, sir.

Sure. Let the little fruit do it.

Here I go again.

Mom told me to stay away from microwaves.

this is gonna be... the most bitchingly fast bike in all of Orange County.

not two young men playing grab-ass in the shower.

You know, I can't go on a million bike rides whenever you want me to.

Not a girl? Of course.

Methinks a Cupid I shall play.

Fancy that.

Steve Holt!

You're in prison.

Yeah, and it's tough. We can really only play about two hands.

Maybe it was the 11 months he spent in the womb.

Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we?

Are you crazy? I'm a magician. I make my living with my hands.

She's not 'that Mexican,' Mom. She's my Mexican.

If I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay here.

Yeah. And you might be eating... Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that.

I wish I could say the same for Steve Holt. I don't know what the hell her problem is.

It was utterly macabre.

I'm Mom, and I wanna shoot down everything you say so I feel good about myself.

'Cause I'm an uptight... Buster! You old horny slut!

Well, no one's gonna top that.

They beat her up, and, uh, took all her clothes.

Buster was right. You get off on being withholding, don't you?

Send her over. I'll take her shopping. Buster was right. You get off on being withholding, don't you?

Zip me up.

I'm flying! Buster?

No. I'm withholding it. Look at me getting off.

Michael. I wanna go with Mom.

I was trying to fit in.

but a little too close to the sun.

Front seat, Mom. I sit in the front seat now. Mmm?

Because they usually don't.

You smell like my mom.

That's a little cornball. I don't mind. I don't mind either, buddy.

That's a little cornball.

Mother of God! Oh! Every damn time! Oh! This is a big one. Oh!

onward and upward! On... Why, Tracy? Why?

Mom! What is it? I can't get down.