Double Crossers

You got a point behind all those teeth of yours?

Action Jackson? What do I look like, Carl Weathers to you?

getting Barack Hussein Obama Wama Comma Mama on a Llama out of office

It's a crazy-town name.

George Sr. had neither.

You want to reach your hand into my pocket to pay for your birth control? I get to put my hand in your pocket to put it in.

I had to duck a woman's pump and a mini pizza.

And, although too explicit for an American audience, the lovemaking was intense and beautiful

Turn him around three times and put him in Fullerton, he won't know the difference.

Buster? No, no. I won't... I won't hear of it. It could kill him. I meant Gob.

Didn't someone die in one of these things? / Oh, no, not in one of ours. / Although his pitch had lost some of its luster.

And, you know, I mean, it's better than dying in the snow. I mean, not... not-not that you'll die, but if you had to choose, uh, I mean... Brr, you know?

Why, 'cause I'm black?

Well, I should have known you'd be here, supporting this right-wing, dangerous crackpot.

Lindsay, I forgot-- you dyed your hair.

Yeah, the first four months, I was in denial. How are you?

a $50,000 check your wife sent to my daughter for plastic surgery. What kind of a woman does that?

You don't think Maisie's cuter?

And that's when George Sr. finally tipped a black man.

Oh, no, I-I'm a man. I was just wearing, uh, this blouse because I was, uh, driving and I hate my arms.

Whoever told you that's probably chomping on the maca, if you know what I mean.

You really hurt my feelings, guys.

You can't expect me to read every page of that deal. Besides, that one was particularly difficult because it was all in Spanish.

Se habla español. I do not speak Spanish.

Well, this is America. If they don't want us to burn signs, they shouldn't write them in Spanish.

Only Heartfire knew the truth. But the singing was so loud, no one could hear her thoughts.

It's a 40 for the flip and a 40 for the flop, and since it's going to cause a flap, I'd say another 40. So it's a flat 40-40-40 flip-flop and a flap fee.

Hey, you've changed, you big (bleep). You're acting like a little girl lately. And not in the good way.

I'm not a limo driver. I'm a gentleman honey farmer. The only thing I've got back there are my bees. Beans? No, bees! Bees? Bees! Bees! Oh, bees!

Colony collapse disorder. The guy sold me just really sick bees.

Don't worry. Dad, they're going to hive. They always hive.

Bees! Wonderful bees!

Hello, brother. Thought I'd find you in a blouse and a beekeeper hat.

Oh, God, it was Buster's map.

Buster had indeed made the map, as a cartography student, because the class where you get to see naked people, and draw them, was full.

I told one lie, but I-I was going to share the money with you. Two lies. And why do I think that you charge more than five dollars for lemonade? Three small lies.

There's two Dr. Normans!

Yesterday, you were amazing. Georgie, I can't stop thinking about it. You haven't been like that in years.

You mean, slow-witted?

That's my penis.

Well, you don't have to tell me. Nothing?

I mean, there's some violating federal law stuff that'd put me in prison for the rest of my life, but I've made love with treason charges over me before.

But I'm the one who can get hard, so let's focus on you.

Have you come across any ancient games, let's say, glowing games, uh, either board based or carnival based, that you may have played against the wishes of your best friend?

The strong will become the weak. The weak will become the strong.

I'd like you to get on an MRI machine and try to ride it to climax.

And this whole car full of black kids ran over it, for no reason. And they saw it! They saw it!

You can't swim in that bay for a month after without getting nacho cheese sauce in your hair.

♪ Happy birthday, Mr. President... ♪ I-I don't want to be Mr. President.

I just want my son to have a job where his incompetence won't be out of place.

Actually that was a memorial to the death of Pete the mailman. I knew that.

If I were Muslim, would you say 'Muslim magic act'?

No, but it is hard to imagine any Muslim handcuffing himself to a glittery cross and living to tell about it.

Yeah, well, the Christians aren't so (bleep)-hot about it either.

Like Bryce Dallas and Paige Carlyle, was named after where she was conceived.

Oh, my God. I'm dating Ron Howard's girlfriend.

She was Ron's illegitimate daughter, a fact unbeknownst to many.

You're thinking of Moe Howard, the angry stooge who's been dead for a quarter century.

Daddy, my tummy's turning. I got to get out, I got to get out.

No, thanks. I've already crushed one with my car.

'Cause I'm fat. It's because I am fat. You think I'm a fat person. These fat arms.

your testosterone numbers are off the charts. Below the charts, under the charts. I don't know how to say that.

I think I dumped it with a pot pipe and a bottle of cheetah sedative.

You, sir, are a very funny lady.

This feels right.

You're right, I mean, it's not like we're even technically related.

I don't allow men in my apartment without my husband present.