Finding David

You had a room full of brown bags back home, which brown bag?!

That's an ostrich bag.

David must've taken it, along with my last molecule of hope!

I bet he's pawned it by now, to pay for manicures.

Mrs. Rose, you got out of bed. Humph!

That's, very considerate, because I know you and David had a... Intimate uh, relationship.

Can you ask her if she has any extra bedspreads?

I'm still here!

Like, Ted keeps harassing me for an answer to the whole, am I gonna marry him thing

Well, I'm-I'm sorry for your loss.

when he'd charter the jet without permission?

If there's one thing David knows, it's the street value of a woman's bag.

my great grandmother took it from her husband when she left him, and it has been passed down through all the women in my family, as emergency currency, in case we need to leave our husbands in the middle of the night.

But you know Alexis will! Yeah, more than once, probably.

Actually, you're standing in my living room, you let yourself in.

I would love to feel worse about your parents not selling the town, but...

it's so tragic, 'cause my mom is in this like, waking coma, and my dad has developed more of a stutter

By who? By me.

Thanks, I make sure to moisturize.

What, are you here to tell me Alexis has skipped town with my lawn mower?!

Roland, these people have literally hit rock bottom, they're not in the mood for your jokes right now. She is.

Oh, I haven't lost him, i know exactly where he is. He's enjoying happy hour at the viceroy without me.

statistics tell us you have a 48 hour window before you can assume somebody is dead. Yeah, I just said it's been three days. Then do we call off the search?

Well, good news, folks! They found the truck. And David. Well, that didn't come up.

Well, I think they would've told me if there's a dead body with the truck, honey.

My best friend in kindergarten ran away, and her parents didn't notice, and she ended up getting adopted by this really rich Asian family in Vancouver, but then they had their own kid, so she kind of got neglected a bit, and I can't remember whether she's back on the streets now, or...

You just ordered the parfait.

Oh, no, that guy was like, a known alcoholic, and they pulled him out a week ago.

Technically though, someone did leave, and so the dust just hasn't really settled on the whole... us leaving thing. - Yet.

now don't take this the wrong way, but, is this car your home?

I'm just super tired from walking, though.

Do I have to remind you of the time that I was taken hostage on David geffen's yacht by Somali pirates for a week, and nobody answered my texts?!

I had just had my eyelashes dyed, everything was cloudy!

We slept together! Ooh...

There's a bug on your dress. - Ew! Ugh! Oh!

Miriam makes the most delicious butter. Yeah, I mean, she starts pounding that cream about a half hour too early in the morning, but it tastes exactly like the butter we had at the Ritz in Paris

We've spent two sleepless nights, wondering what would happen if nobody came. Would we be stuck with him?!

Restraint.

And yet your time with us has come to an end.

These three days you spent with us David, will remain in our memories for many days, and many, many, many nights.

I imagine it's customary for strangers to partake in a good, old fashioned amish lunch? Not always.

I didn't go missing, David. The FBI knew where I was the entire time.

You told me that Diane Sawyer gave you that bag, and that it was fake.

I don't know David, why did you steal my eyeliner? - That was a phase in high school!

Okay, because I have told a lot of people that Diane Sawyer sells fake bags on the down-low.

I hitchhiked, in the middle of the night, wearing all black! I was basically asking to get hit by a car!

Oh my God, who hasn't, David!

In fact, I was hoping you wouldn't come back.

Wow, believe it or not, that is one of the warmest welcomes I have received so far!

I thought, well, there goes my one friend. Try saying that one out loud, it is very dark.

Try saying that one out loud, it is very dark.

This was before my nose job, how was anyone supposed to recognize me?

Oh David, it's a rare gift to strip vanity of its charm, yet here you are.

Next time, someone will think twice before they steal my truck, yes? Ooh, burn, David!

But do you, David?

We've already done that. What number are we on? Oh my God! Is this not your mother's recipe?