Louie Sees The Light

The buildup about a forbidden word that Louie hates more than any word in the English language

You want to peddle dope, you want to be a white slaver... Anything you want, that's your business

I'm going to rip your head off and use it as a radiator cap

What do you do, put a quarantine sign in the window?

One more time... You come dragging in here with that Howdy Doody face of yours and change for a quarter

What, see a doctor for a simple... gut-wrenching pain?

And, you know, about what I was saying before... Don't forget it.

Please come and see me before I die

As a matter of fact, I was delivered on a kitchen table by a midwife... Well, half the kitchen table. Dad was eating dinner on the other half.

Well, half the kitchen table. Dad was eating dinner on the other half.

She thinks I'm out of town, seeing you fight. Who'd I fight? Some kid from Mexico. How'd I do? He knocks you out in the second round. Yeah, them Mexican guys are tough.

How'd you like a sack of dirt?

I said, 'Have one.' Oh, you said, 'Have one'? I thought you said, 'Leave one.'

Good, then I won't have to sit down.

Say hello to God, Alex. No, Louie, I don't think... Say hello. He hasn't got all day.

Well, um... he's not your best work.

Well, I guess you got yourself a deal, huh?

Tell her that I'm on a mission for the government. She'll believe you. She's a little funny in the head.

As long as you still got one, he could still have kids.

I got $50 that says he can't make it through one day... Wait a minute, Bob, are you really serious? I mean, you're gonna make a bet about a man keeping his faithful oath with his God? I'll give you two to one. You're on.

It's only money.

After all, a man is never taller than when he stoops to help a child.

And nobody can stoop lower than you, De Palma. Thank you, my friend.

Latka's untranslatable joke that makes him laugh hysterically while everyone else stares

What's the matter, you heard it already?

Louie, I had an accident.

I'll be darned.

See, it was my fault. I... I ran a stop sign... I forgot to turn on my headlights.

Then there wasn't any accident after all.

You were testing me to see if I could break my pact with God.

Louie counting out money with increasingly violent gestures

You scum! You lowlife! You cretin!

I'm going to make you regret the day you were born! I'm gonna make sure that every night you get the dirtiest smelliest cab in the garage, and if there isn't one that's dirty and smelly, then I'm gonna get in and smelly and dirty it up myself.

The most miserable cab driver in all of New York City is whoever lets him down or feeds him.

Looks like you won the bet, Bob.

You believe in hell, Alex? Believe in it? I work there.

He's rolled up His sleeves. He's got His brass knuckles on. He's getting ready for me.

Well, Louie, maybe the best person that you can possibly be is a rat.

But we can be sure that just as He had a reason for creating snakes and lice and vermin... He had a reason for creating you, too.

That's a beautiful thought, Alex.

Back to the garage so that I may continue fulfilling His divine purpose.