Louie And The Nice Girl

A bunch of adults fighting over a candy bar / Hold that thought, Bobby, she's brought malted balls

First one is free. Then after I get you hooked...

I thought that the only thing that could have made it better was you in it / Oh, you noticed that, too, huh?

Out of the way or I'll call you last for a cab

The first Baby Ruth / Why does the first one always taste the best? / How should we know? You always eat the first one

You may now resume fighting over the stale ones

There's an exterminator who wants him to pose for the side of his truck

Bet you don't even notice how cute he is / Louie? / Yeah / Louie?! / Yeah!

Maybe I just get turned on by powerful men / Louie!? / Yeah

You want him for yourself / Zena says I want Louie for myself

I mean, who in this garage is going to introduce her to Louie? / Elaine, damn it, she's an adult

Stay close by me. He's not in a cage for nothing

[Long awkward silence after introduction]

I like your goodies

How long you been in this sweets field? / You do it very well

It's a free dinner

It's just one date. What's the worst thing that can happen? / She could have his baby

Zena and I had another one of those nights / She ripped the shirt off my back

When you're burning the candle at both ends for five weeks straight, you're going to have to pay the price

There's only one consolation in this whole sordid affair / I didn't introduce them

How much pleasure can one man endure?

Isn't anybody the least bit curious as to why I didn't have time to change this morning or yesterday, or the day before, ad infinitum?

[Louie making suggestive gesture/expression] / I don't do that / Yes, you do, you do it almost continuously

Louie making a disgusting face/sound every time he mentions Zena

I don't even realize I'm doing it. But I'll tell you one thing, Rieger, you'd be hee-hee-heeing, too

I don't even let people I like touch my hair

Whisper in my ear and you'll be whispering for life

♪ Macho, macho man ♪ / ♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪

My theory is that, since she's not a stupid person she must see some quality in Louie that we've always missed / My theory is, Zena is nuts

I have a feeling when I die, they'll put that on my stone

So why haven't we? / You mean he hasn't touched you?

I can't even get him to hold my hand

I like to be a little late so she's really chomping at the bit

I finally found a girl who can keep up with me / She's jealous!

I want you to do for me what you do for Bobby and Tony and the other guys / Well, I am a little short this week

20 dollars? Are you crazy? For 'her fault'?! / 20 bucks

I can't tell you how many told me, 'Louie, this is crazy, I should pay you!' / That'll be another ten

She's the first girl that ever did this to me / Don't do that / You haven't got enough money in your pocket for that one

Oh, Zena's not your first girl, she's your first nice girl / Yeah! And I can't handle it!

I was brought up believing that there was nice girls and girls you had fun with and there was no mixing of the two

Break up with this lovely, warm person who obviously feels a great deal for you and spend the rest of your life floating through meaningless affairs with cheap strangers who you'll have to pay

Great advice

I got you some flowers / Thanks / I threw them away / Why? / Because that's the kind of guy I am

We're not going out tonight / Why not? / Because that's the kind of night this is

Want me to rub your feet? No. Your shoulders? No. That little vein in your head? No rubbing

I told her, 'I don't want you moaning on records anymore'

Stop it, Louie. Just don't make up stories. I think I deserve better than that

relating to you in a nonverbal manner

My friends have been asking me that question, my parents. The doorman's been asking me that question

You touch me

Holy crap!

Take me to the place you cry

I can't go in there, Zena! / Oh, open it! / No... I'm sorry

Women! / It would mean a lot to me

You can go now, Louie / That's easy for you to say