A Woman Between Friends

I quit sucking air through my teeth.

I'm just afraid of any man who likes to dig and pick in someone's mouth with sharp instruments, that's all.

Don't tell me when until it's just time to go. I want just enough time to get there and not enough time to think about it.

Do you know that you're acting like a child? / Oh, yeah, and tell him I want to be treated like a child.

Uh, I'm a boxer... My reactions are quicker.

Hey, Tony, I'm an actor. I'm trained to observe people closely.

What color is Tony's shirt? / I don't know. / Alex's shirt? / I don't know. / The buttons on her coat? / Brown with tan marbling and rose-colored thread.

You don't pay attention to women... You, uh, collect them.

How many women have you dated this year? / Who counts? / You. Fifteen.

When? / Soon as I can get to a telephone.

How come you can't pass up one woman for a friend? / Hormones, I guess.

You know, Elaine's right... Make it two out of three.

There aren't that many women that like either one of us, let alone both of us.

Okay, let's agree that we both go out with her, and whoever hits it off best with her gets to keep her.

I'm thinking of a number... Five. / I wanted five. / Tough luck. / Why don't you draw straws to see who gets five?

Hey, lady! Anything he says... me, too.

A bonus is something that a boss gives a worker when he thinks he's doing a good job. / Congratulations.

Elaine, can I speak to you man to man?

Gee, the guy's got the market cornered on everything but pitiful.

Um, I think there's more than nine numbers between those two.

Well, I got that beat, 'cause my date with her was one of the greatest nights of my life.

Nya, nya, nya, nya, nya.

Tony, give it to me, and don't make me do something I'm going to regret... Like hitting myself and getting killed.

Look. Louie likes it.

I just remembered, she's not home.

He's saying you're stupid.

He's a boxer like you're an actor.

O-O-Okay, okay, listen, uh... I'll hit myself.

Not hard enough.

That's harder than you've ever hit anybody.

What am I doing? Breaking up a fight between one guy.

You know who I feel sorry for? That poor young girl. Torn between two losers.

Tony.

Oh, well, that's easy to remember; it's the same name. / It's the same girl.

Well, could I meet her?

Mine!

Oh, what beautiful eyes she has... / Yeah, we had that talk.

She calls me her, uh... Sorry, Bobby... Her tough teddy bear. / Her, uh, smart teddy bear.

Yeah. I haven't seen anything like it since I stopped reading Archie comic books.

Careful, Nardo. If he gets mad he could beat himself silly.

You have a dentist appointment in 30 minutes.

Ooh, there they are... tweedle-dumb and tweedle-dumber.

Why, Land-o-Goshen, it's Mary Worth.

Dump the both of them.

Dump the both of them.

Gee, thanks, Janet, but you shouldn't have done this. / Why not? I wanted to. / I'm a middleweight. / And it's my watch.

What situation? / Well, I mean, the fact you're going out with Bobby and Tony at the same time. / Why not?

I'm beginning to wish that I went to the dentist.

Yeah, take a minute, mull it over. / Yeah. Come on, now, take your time. / Go over to another table and work on it for a while. / You know, make it look tough, anyway.

Yeah, take a minute, mull it over. / Yeah. Come on, now, take your time. / I mean, 'cause we're in no hurry. / Yeah, yeah. Go over to another table and work on it for a while. / You know, make it look tough, anyway.

How am I doing? / Will you shut up!

Our friendship could end forever right here. / Eh, maybe you got a point, Bobby. / So let me understand this: Now, neither one of you wants to see me anymore?

Maybe, maybe by telling you that I was going to see to it that the guy I chose had the time of his life tonight. The kind of night that men dream about. The kind of night that... that would be so good that it'd make a man real happy that he's a man.

The person that I was going to pick... Hey, it doesn't make any difference... was Bobby.

My tooth stopped hurting.

I don't know how you did that, but if you are that determined not to go, well, forget it.