The Unkindest Cut

and eyes that show you that he's a little boy after all. You just happened to mention him in passing?

And if that doesn't work, I'll try something subtle like the Dance of the Seven Veils.

Oh, my God, you're right. It's not special enough.

That's that place with the great nude beaches, right? Yeah, but they got spiders this big.

Cowlick? I'll try anything.

Uh, is it a volleyball?

Close.

Iggy! You're a somewhat compulsive personality. Step forward.

Is it over? Yeah. That was the greatest thrill of my life!

Elaine's internal debate about the hair appointment

Creative people.

No. No, it's very reasonable.

Bring me a kimono. Oh, oh, I would, but I think there'll be security guards. Then bring me a security guard.

just as Michelangelo discovered the beauty of David in a slab of marble, I shall find in that head of hair your perfect hairstyle.

Well, stick with me, and you'll become a passenger.

We'll stick with I Love Lucy.

Rebecca, we're gonna need some green out here. Just kidding. Just kidding!

Too fabulous for you?

Well, I guess I just can't do cabdrivers.

No. I had to go out a couple of times and beg for quarters.

Yum, yum, yum, yum. Yum, yum, yum, yum.

Why? So they can serve hors d'oeuvres on my head?

It might be worth a shot.

for making me look like spoiled coleslaw

They always appreciate it when you notice the little things.

I haven't seen a mess like that since somebody stuck a firecracker up my Uncle Emilio's parrot.

What insults? I loved that bird.

I look forward to seeing you every day, like some palookas look forward to a sunrise.

If a man assaulted her body, he'd go to jail. If a man desecrated a work of art... In the clink.

Reiger, you've seen his fights. There's not a court in the land that would buy that one.

Even you can take a hairdresser. Was he big?

When I was leaving there crying, he said... 'Well, I guess I can't do cabdrivers.'

every time you hear the laughter of kids... every time a policeman's horse shies up

You come here often? I'm just here waiting for a cancellation.

Oh, my God! The fleet's in.

Beautiful! Like a parrot.

she brought the Jewish Defense League to get her money back

Is this the big date you were getting ready for?

Stay! Stay! Stay!

Joan of Arc did less whining at the stake.

She may be better than you, but I ain't.

Throbbing noises, flashing lights, monsters chasing you... I get enough of that in real life.