Like Father Like Son

Tony's panicked reaction to jury duty - 'Oh, no! No! Ah, why me?'

Alex's immediate refusal to talk to his father without explanation

Alex offering to trade talking to his father for Tony's jury duty

Jim's dismissive 'Well, you know, some people yakkety-yakkety-yakkety-yak'

Louie's jury peer joke: 'Who are they tryin', a pinhead?'

Louie's elaborate jury scenario ending with 'there's Banta playin' with his lips'

'Since when?' '1974.' Alex hasn't seen his father who's lived nearby for years

'My God, who is this man?' Elaine's shock at Joe's behavior

'What am I gonna do with a sweet, little old man?' Alex dreading reconciliation even if Joe has changed

Alex's description of their awkward greeting ritual - not knowing whether to shake hands or hug

'You push a girl like that away?' Joe's immediate interest in Elaine

Jim's overly emotional hug declaration: 'That's for all the sons in the world who never hugged their fathers'

'I didn't say "perfect," I said "good."' Joe's response to Alex's criticism

Joe's description of his ideal woman perfectly describing Karen who's sitting right there

'I memorized her license plate' - Joe's preparation for approaching Karen

Alex's honest admission: 'I hate jazz anyway. I was just foolishly trying to show you that I have a mind of my own'

'Smooth, Reiger, smooth' - Louie's sarcastic commentary

Joe's pickup line to Karen: 'I find it hard to resist being cute. I even went to Cutie-Pies Anonymous'

Karen's response: 'I must say, I do feel like dunking you in a cup of coffee'

Joe's logic about dating both father and son: the father-son relationship caveat

'Which one of you is that?' when Joe mentions the 'harmless old man'

'Reiger's on thin ice, and I'm a blow torch' - Louie's metaphor

Tony's residence length answer: 'About 30 feet' instead of time duration

'Uh, maybe you measured wrong' - response to Tony's confusion

Louie's wine metaphor buildup: 'It's like a fine wine. First, we should uncork it...'

'to share a woman... with his own father' - Louie's revelation

'Yeah, me and my mother' - Alex's bitter response about mistaking Joe for his father

'That munchkin I was having lunch here with the other day is my father!'

'My mother thought I had asthma' - Alex explaining his breathless reaction to his father's beautiful women

'He imitates soup' followed by 'Pea soup'

'he loves women' vs 'But I love women' - 'No, no, no... I mean, he loves women'

'makes me almost wish he wasn't slime. Now wait a minute, that's my father you're talking about. Please continue.'

'No, I was thinking more of my face and his face' - Alex wanting to confront Joe directly

'I always wanted a fish tank; they're so pretty. But the fish are too much bother'

'She always used a little too much salt' vs Alex's defense of the salt level

Joe's manipulation: 'You have to see me. You have to listen to me, 'cause I'm old. I'm going to die.'

Joe demonstrates the pea soup imitation: 'Thick pea soup coming to a furious boil'

'You can't do that without getting a pinch on the cheek'

'I'm not gonna kiss you on top of the head. Your loss.'