Arnie Meets The Kids

Bleam niki schlev rosko iska bedosko pavitz iba da.

The stamp commemorates goat cheese

They would like me to be the ambassador to France

It pays $2.75 a hour

Because I'm the only one who speaks French

Hey, she really does speak French

I'm not even going to pester you with questions about whether you had a wonderful time. However, if you'd care to volunteer the information, I'd be glad to hear it

decency prevents me from divulging the details, but, you know, it had to do with water beds, baby oil...

They know I'm kidding. Yeah, well, I don't think they do. Really? Well, great.

but now that you mention it, I must say I went for the gold and I got it!

You know what? I think it's his boyish insecurity. It's got to be. There's nothing else.

I thought maybe then I could walk you home and we could do it till we pass out

You usually get slapped much harder than that

Are you kidding, Alex? The kids got to love him. He's like Yoda.

In an overprotective, paranoid sort of way is what I mean

You're gonna trust your kids to a guy who promises never to bathe again until Seattle wins the Super Bowl?

I pretended to have a heart attack and die

she was profuse in her gratitude

I'm great with kids

Je vais continuer jusqu'à la fin de mes jours

my French is a little rusty, but if I were you, I'd have someone taste my coffee in the morning

I knew that you would love me enough to do the right thing if I made your life a living hell

We broke off diplomatic relations with France

I put out, man!

The key to popularity was knowing how to play dodgeball and how to make those little sounds with your armpits

Was Buffalo Bob himself? Was Bozo the Clown himself?

Your conjugal visit's over.

Did Nardo ever mention a guy named Peterson? Elaine adored him. When he met the kids, they hated him.

when the moon is full, you can hear his voice saying, 'Elaine, I thought we had something special... special... special...'

But it's moments like this that make up for it

Oh, well, I guess I'll have to trade you in for two new kids

Can we trade her in?

I'd like you to meet the greatest guy in the world... Arnie Ross!

I'll bet the girls are just crazy about you, but you don't give them the time of day. Right?

A mouse or a rat?

Are you kidding? I'm fighting for my life here

Aw, give me a break. Then a snake.

Well, then let's all get stinking drunk!

What about money?!

Let them earn it. In return for the money, they could just come over to my place tomorrow and put in some copper plumbing

You're ugly! You're stupid! I hate you, Mom!

You have beautiful children, Elaine

Would $40 make you feel better?

I should be sterilized

Kids... Good night

Just not as much

They're honest. Yeah. I like them.

Arnie's even cuter than Ricky Schroeder

What do you say I march in there and, uh, kick their butts all over the room?

I guess I am. You know what? What? I love it.

I guess I am.