My Brothers Keeper

Philip:'Cause of the way you get them.

Will:Who that say they gonna beat Will Smith? What, what?

Philip:Why don't you go upstairs, get my wallet... and take your friends to the movies? In Pittsburgh.

Philip:That's very honorable, son. You're grounded.

Will:Actually, we got kicked out of six other people's cribs and a 7-Eleven parking lot.

Will:Hey, but this is now, and that was this morning.

Will:No, I'm saving that for prom night.

Will:Then I should probably cancel my date with that fat, chocolate woman.

Carlton:Will, you pitiful Maalox poster child.

Will:Besides, I'm the greatest, I'm a bad man, and I'm pretty.

Will:My manager? I don't even want you to be my cousin.

Tyson:He say he don't even want you to be his cousin.

Carlton:I'll tell Dad that little circle in your wallet's not your lucky half-dollar.

Carlton:Shall we take my car or the Volvo?

Will:I'll say one thing for Malibu, the babes are primo-delecto.

Will:That must be jam, 'cause jelly don't shake like that.

Will:We can go to my place and let freedom ring.

Will:The only tough break he had is when the Izod shop ran out of pink.

Carlton:God, I hate when that happens.

Coach Smiley:Shut up, Smith. Can't you see I'm incognito?

Coach Smiley:Not a damn thing, Will, it's part of the disguise.

Will:They said that I'm a superbly well-oiled machine... with the face of an angel and the body of a god.

Will:Maybe that's not an exact quote.

Marcus:But I do recognize them ears. They covered up half of 'Dear Abby.'

Will:I'm glad you're familiar with that... because my butt is the only part of my anatomy you gonna see next week.

Marcus:Only scout looking for you is trying to sell you some cookies.

Marcus:Most Likely to Bag my Groceries.

Will:You may be tall and good-looking and a good basketball player... but you're not that nice.

Will:I'm sure they do, they can check their makeup in it.

Will:In other words, for a small fee, I might be persuaded to date your daughters.

Old barber:We ain't had no sneakers, so we played in high-top combat boots. And we ain't had no basketball, so we used a brick.

Will:Good thing you all wasn't into archery.

Old barber:Just because the roof blew off don't mean there ain't a log on the fire.

Marcus · Will:Wait, I thought you lived out in Malibu. I know you thought I did.

Marcus:Nope. I run.

Will:Don't cut me too short, though. I don't want you give me no 'Hair Jordan.'

Nelson:Our motto is: 'It may be nappy, but we'll make it snappy.'

Nelson:He used to play on the asphalt in his socks. Mother couldn't afford sneakers, you know.

Will:I was the only kid in preschool who knew how to downshift a big rig.

Will:A few years from now I'll be dunking baskets in the NBA... Marcus will be dunking donuts in a deep fryer.

Nelson · Marcus:'Junior'? Yeah, Will, this is my son. My son.

Will:Dr. Ruth, and Dr. Pepper.

Will:And another thing, take this $1,000 bill and wipe your baby's nose.

Baby:Hello, Dada?

Will · Carlton:I dreamed you had hair like Don King. Did I look taller?

Carlton:You just hand out cigars and hope its head rounds out.

Coach:That, and pass it to Will.

Coach:Sorry, it's a bad analogy.

Marcus:My situation does not define who I am, I define who I am.

Will:All due respect, my brother... I don't think nobody's gonna offer you no million dollars.

Marcus:All due respect, my brother... I don't think nobody's gonna offer you no million dollars.

Will:Smith has the ball. He dribbles, he drives between the legs. He stops, he pops. And it's good! The crowd goes wild. Oh, Smith hurt his ankle. He hurt his ankle. It's over, he cannot play. Smith wins, 1-0.