Whos The Boss

Will:Behind every successful man, there's a woman. But if you wanted to switch positions, I'm with that too, know what I mean?

Will:You're not gonna let a silly little thing like profits stand in the way of my promotion, are you?

Professor · Will:Very meticulous. Bakes me fresh muffins every day. No. No. No, he's not:

Hilary · Will:Get to the insulting part. 'Hilary Banks doesn't know the difference between a cirrus cloud and a cumulus cloud.' What is the difference? Will, look around. Do you see my TelePrompTer here?

Will:I don't know. Let's see. Short, obnoxious. All you need is a bad haircut. And your ears.

Carlton:Fruity Pebbles! And there's a little tugboat inside, Ross.

Will · Carlton:How do they feel about guys who still depend on the crossing guard? Hey, that's a dangerous intersection, mister.

Geoffrey:Especially Master William who will discover the joy of working for a Banks.

Will:Oh, well, you know, sort of like your lectures. Long, stale and full of baloney.

Professor · Will:I'm stupid. I just failed, didn't I? Look, check it out, here's a sub on the house. Instant A.

Dexter · Will:So she'll see me again? Oh, no, man, she hates your guts. Hey, but look, there's always more fish in the sea. I should know. They call me Aquaman.

Will:That's fly, ain't it? I like to think of it as my own Sistine Chapel.

Carlton:Yeah, well, Phillipe's been in there worshipping for two hours.

Will:My name's Will. Welcome to The Peacock, where our motto is: Girl, whatever you got, I want it.

Carlton · Will:Will, you're getting it all wrong. Hey, look, man, as long as I'm getting it.

Will:Yes, sir, General Shorcoff.

Hilary:Can't you just throw them in jail or something?

Philip · Hilary:Did you really refer to Hurricane Robert as Bobby? Well, Robert just sounded so serious. It was serious, darling. It wiped out half of Miami. Well, excuse me for trying to spread a little sunshine.

Hilary:Someone who knows what it's like to be hated. 555-9021. Oh, Shannen? Hi. Hilary Banks. You remember that I Hate Brenda thing that you went through? What do you mean you don't know me? You spilled a drink on me at Roxbury. Hello? Boy, she's not gonna make many friends with that attitude.

Hilary:What do you mean you don't know me? You spilled a drink on me at Roxbury. Hello?

Carlton:Look, I particularly recommend the shrimpy cocktail.

Will:Carlton, I think we need to have a little talk, man. You know, bird to nerd.

Carlton · Customers:So, ladies, have you decided? Drop dead. Excellent choice.

Carlton · Will:We've got these people by the textbooks. We can charge and pretty much do whatever we want. This is like sex to you, isn't it? Yes.

Will:You're just some butt-kissing, apple-a-day suck up that got lucky.

Geoffrey:Count your blessings.

Geoffrey:Otherwise, I'd be out parasailing with these.

Will:Oh, damn. That mean they took down the Naughty Nightie girl.

Hilary · Philip:If I watch the weather in New York, I'll have a three-hour jump on the competition. Honey, that might not work every time.

Hilary:Chance of snow and a minus three wind chill. Well, my work is done. I'm going shopping.

Hilary:Now, dress warm, it's gonna snow.

Carlton:Also, we are pleased to announce that the proceeds from our new pay toilets have enabled us to buy this brand new metal detector.

Carlton:Remember, less flatware theft means lower prices for you, our valued consumer.

Will · Jazz:Peacock-a-cola? I made that one up myself. It shows.

Jazz:Phillipe told me you cut the teeth marks off the pickles and reuse them.

Jazz · Carlton:My babies. Even Oliver? He has a heart murmur. Even Oliver.

Professor:If anybody asks, I've been with you all day.

Hilary:Who is this Bosnia person I keep hearing about?

Carlton:Will, you can't be happy here. This is a franchise. The kind of place where they treat employees like faceless, anonymous nobodies.

Manager:Will Smith, come on up here. I know you've only been here four days, but the staff has voted you employee of the week!

Will:Oh, Carlton, save me from this hellhole.

Carlton:All those summers at business camp were just a waste of time.

Will:But together we'd smell like success.

Carlton:Beg? I don't know how to beg. I'm rich.

Will · Carlton:Look, a man's most valuable possession is his self-respect. Make it 2000. All right, let me go get my hat.