The 'Hey Now' Episode

Larry:"Wow" backwards is "wow." Did you know that?

Larry:"Wow" upside-down is "Mom," and Mom upside-down is Dad's favorite thing

Larry:We went to Egypt with my in-laws who are a lot of fun... if you like being in a vault with them

Larry:I don't know what that means, but thank you for laughing

Larry:But nobody ever goes there because it Sphinx back there

Larry:All the women look like Jamie Farr

Larry:I'm a big Jamie Farr fan and I love women... so the combination just turned me on major

Larry:Major... that's from MASH too

Larry:There's a guy under your stall reaching in

Larry:I realized you're better off just using the currency... getting a wad of bills and hoping you don't get chaffed

Hank:Indeed I am

Larry:I believe Hank was just then in the Middle East

Dr. Marvin:The Earth just came out of me

When you get close to him, but then when he's Farr, forget it

Larry:I didn't even need to be there for the fuckin' Saget interview

Larry:All I said was 'Hi, Bob. Bye, Bob.' I could've been working at a Jack In The Box

Artie:Yeah, love the one where the man gets hit in the nuts with the Wiffle Ball

Geography quiz.

But I'm working on a new guest now.

Who's Leno got?

Macauley Culkin.

Why, you...

I'm just kidding you.

Larry:Donna Mills? Even Kiss is working without makeup, Artie

Larry:Beerskis. Survey says 'no.' Really

Hank:Hey now

Artie:That was a fluke

Artie:That was a fluke. The guy cares less about the show every night.

Artie:Of course. He's a fucking moron. What do you expect?

Larry:What, Gallagher out of fruit?

Jeannie:I would've tucked him in, but there's a network TV show going on

Sorry. It's offensive to serial killers, isn't it?

Which is half our audience. And the other half are victims

Larry:Especially if she talks about the beatings she took from her father

Larry:Maybe it looks better when it's lit. That would be my guess

Artie:Yes, or some similar piece of shit. I don't know what

Larry:To people or to dogs?

Producer:Paula says his animals are like children to him, which I find very sad

Hank:Hey now

Hank:Hey now

Hank:I'd like to fuck her

Larry:You don't play for the Kings. Do you ever turn down anything?

Hank:Well, that's the biggest one in the country.

Darlene:No, that's the national one.

Hank:Hey now

Hank:I never put them together till later in life. So in that sense, it's part of my personality

Larry:You do this, that isn't the same affectation? That isn't the same as my 'hey now'?

Larry:Uh, hey now, that was real funny

Hank:Hey now!

Larry:By interplay, you mean the times we're both awake?

Artie:Now, LaToya, she could circle. There's a gal that could be circling for years

Larry:When I met him, he was just a cruise director.

Jeannie:After the show, talk to him. It's not as if you have a million friends

Larry:I would settle for Tito at this point. I just want you to know that

Larry:I've seen terrorists do it

Larry:I thought I just heard you say, 'my half.' Is that what you just said? My half of the show, Hank?

Larry:You look a little like Kitty in Gunsmoke

Hank:Why don't you shove it up your ass? Or do you already do that commercial?

Makeup person:Fine, if you want your face and hands to clash.

Hank:Hey now!

Artie:Janet Jackson is out, T. Bone Burnett is in. You were right. She was circling. She got diverted to Reno.

Announcer:and me... hey now... Hank Kingsley

Paula:What do you mean, there's no helicopters? For God's sakes, tell 'em he's a burn victim.

Artie:If he were a kidney, he'd been here an hour ago

Larry:If I had a gun, I'd put it in my mouth, turn and take us both out

Larry:He's written a wonderful book called My Dog, Myself. Teaching us how to train a dog in five days... and we are up to approximately day four.

Larry:Hank has had a dog. Okay. Well, I thought you might've, in fact, had a dog

Hank:Philipe Xavier Kingsley

Hank:He can never stop... licking himself.

I believe that's learned behavior. When you stop, the dog will stop

Larry:I think that is... It's that old 'monkey see, monkey do.'

Larry:I would just cut out the middleman there and lick him

Larry:Oh, boy. I couldn't... I would just cut out the middleman there and lick him.

Larry:"Sometimes" is the key phrase

Larry:Yeah. Cutting into Hank's action, in effect

Hank:And I'm thinking, maybe I ought to get a dog costume

Carl:If you call our office at Actors and Others for Animals... we can get you neutered for a very low cost

Larry:We do not have the cover... but this is what it looks like once you open it. This is what you play. Really, what good does the cover do you?

Larry:Really, what good does the cover do you? His new album is called The Criminal Under My Own Hat

Larry:You saved my ass.

Hank:And I did it without saying 'hey now.'

Hank:And I did it without saying 'hey now.'

Hank:You could go with me on those other jobs. They would love to have you there.

Hank:That's okay. I've turned into a moron

Larry:I've turned into an asshole last couple of years.

Hank:That's okay. I've turned into a moron.