Artie and Angie and Hank and Hercules

Artie:If you're gonna sit around all day with your thumb up your ass, sooner or later that will impact the show.

Larry:I hate when people use their children as an excuse.

Artie:Mary Lou, that's the reason people in Hollywood have kids.

Hank:Boy, I'd like to have that police woman put me in a choke hold. You know, frisk me, baby. Whoa, do I have a concealed weapon for you.

Larry:Shut up, Hank. Officer, officer, turn off that siren and let's fuck.

Larry:You're gonna have to be more specific.

Artie:Well, we had a lot of hot sex, but we never left the house.

Artie:She's like a siren calling for me to smash my nuts upon the rocks.

Larry:Ha! OK, it's not that different.

Hey, could you insult us?

Don Rickles:Oh, not really, you know, I don't do that. You know, I do that for, you know, when you get paid.

Don Rickles:You must have come out of your mother on an angle and hit the wall. You got a funny-looking body.

Hank:It's like I shit in Pluto's dish or something.

Hank:I knew television was in deep, deep trouble the day they took C.P.O. Sharkey off the air.

Don Rickles:What am I, with the Mossad? I don't know.

Don Rickles:Here's a man that's a nebbish. That means, as you can see, does nothing, just sits there and smells his hand.

Angie:Artie, forget about it, huh? You're old. It's over. Go out to the cemetery and pick out a plot.

Angie · Larry:Angie kissing Larry unexpectedly

Larry:He's just thanking her for doing the show.

Hank:No, no. Not really. Uh, he'd been on the plane the flight before mine. You could still feel the Eisner in the air.

Disney Executive:That's Samson.

Hank:I don't think so.

Hank:Is he a gynecologist?

Larry:It's fine. I'm that way when Siegfried and Roy are on.

Artie:Tomorrow let's switch to beer.

Artie:You know who's really good in this one? David Schwimmer. He's hilarious in this one.

Artie:Oh, boy, he's just like Marcel Marceau.

Artie:Not on TV.

Artie:If Dressed to Kill were on right now, you'd be humping the set crying out 'Mama mia!'

Larry:What are they doing, a live action version of Dumbo? You throw in 40 pounds, a little gray makeup, you're gonna be great.

Larry:What are they doing, a live action version of Dumbo? You throw in 40 pounds, a little gray makeup, you're gonna be great.

Hank:This is a warning, my friend. You do not mess with Hercules. I killed my wife, I killed my children, and I shall kill you if you do not temper thy tongue.

Hank:I don't mean to question your judgment, but one of my balls is as big as Tate Donovan.

Hank:Hiageus, the village idiot, enters, a sad little stump of a man with a sorry mustache. He's being pelted with stones by a band of toughs. He cries out for Hercules in his funny squeal of a voice.

Hank:Do you think that when Hiageus gets in trouble, he could say, uh, 'Hey, now!'

Beverly:And is that your tail I see between your legs?

Laura:I'm just not sure that I'm ready to be in a relationship with someone in show business.

Exactly.

Artie:We were on vacation, for Christ's sake. You know, it started out good, but then she wanted to talk about my peccadilloes. My mood swings, my temper, my stubbornness. My obsession with Glenlivet.

Larry:What time's your flight?

Artie:9:30. I'll be back on Monday. I swear.

Larry:Thanks, buddy.