Stevie Grant

Stevie:Just remember, you've got the network by the balls. They can't do this job.

Larry · Stevie · Beverly:Beverly, this is Stevie Grant. Hi. Beverly, my assistant. The voice on the phone.

Beverly · Stevie:Coming from an agent, I'll take that with a grain of salt. Look out. She's a sassy one.

Stevie · Beverly:Look out. She's a sassy one. / I beg your pardon?

Stevie · Beverly:She's a client. She's a big pain in the ass. She's very nice.

Stevie · Beverly · Stevie:She's a big pain in the ass. She's very nice. Well, she's an actress.

Stevie · Hank:Let's play it by ear, honcho. Ok...Big guy. [Shoes tap]

Stevie · Larry:Just you, Larry. Good to know.

Larry · Stevie:I happen to, uh, you know, hate New York. But on the show, you're always talking about what a great city it is. Well, um, I also happen to talk about what a great city Jacksonville is because we have affiliates there.

Stevie · Hank:Who's Francine? Yeah. See? Tommy, I think-- See, right there, you know?

Stevie:It's the worst piece of shit I've ever seen. Hey, you should really consider replacing him if New York happens.

Stevie:How can you stand it? It's the worst piece of shit I've ever seen.

Stevie:You're a quadruple threat. You're a singer, a dancer, a raconteur, and a singer again because you're just that good.

Stevie:Yes! Fuck that beer farm! We are out of here!

Stevie:I-- I live For this shit. It gets me all Hot and bothered.

Stevie:the new Larry Sanders show, afternightline. Unfortunately, That's the actual title They wanna use.

Stevie:Great idea for a sitcom.

Stevie:You're cohosting with fucking superman.

Stevie:Cohosting detracts from your essential specialness in the marketplace.

Stevie:Who are you, kathie Lee all of a sudden?

Stevie:Did you pull her out of a burning building at some point, or did you sit through She Devil?

Stevie:She's with William Morris, right?

Stevie:9 shows a night, every half hour. You know, it's like vaudeville days.

Stevie:Ha ha! You are the king! King Kong! Ha ha ha ha!

Stevie:Which ones? The ones who can act.

Paula · Stevie:The little guy, the hyper guy? Mm-hmm. I don't think so. He's more of a conan o'brien act. Conan won't put him on.

Paula · Stevie:I can't do this with Larry watching me. It gives me the creeps. Doing it in front of my clients turns me on. I feel my power.

Stevie:Fuck him, he doesn't know. He's the one who swore ovitz wasn't leaving.

Stevie:This whole disney thing has everybody shitting bricks, pins, and party favors.

Stevie · Paula:Of course not. I already told you I'm doing this for 5 years and then I'm getting out. You're so deluded. OK. 8 years.

Stevie:That's just the kind of Hollywood bullshit that makes me want to Chuck it all and join the peace corps. Yeah? Big bad Ron, you piece of shit! How's it going? Oh, fuck you, asshole.

Stevie:I want it to continue the way that it is except with more fucking.

Stevie · Paula:Oh, my God, are you pregnant? No, but it's nice to see what your reaction would be.

Stevie · Larry:Jennifer sprained her ankle. Really? You know, according to Paula, she mentioned to Artie that Jennifer has a head cold.

Stevie:I walk around in my Italian suit all day like I'm on top of the world, but I'm a fake! And if I stop pretending for a second, I fall apart 'cause I'm terrified! I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

Stevie:Larry is the gorilla. He's huge, talent-wise.

Paula · Stevie:Hey, you... you didn't get back together with me just so you could get Jennifer aniston back on the show, did you? Of course not.

Stevie:You just find some hip, funny guy and make him do all the work and you slap your name on it!

Stevie:Tonight, Ellen has a secret, and Larry's got it!

Stevie:Unless she had sex with her mother. Now, that would be a great cue. 'Tonight on Larry Sanders, Ellen sleeps with her mother! It's a family affair!'

Stevie:This is our opportunity here to kick leno's fucking ass!

Stevie:Fucking fergie. She wants to do a talk show. I think she might fuck me, too.

Stevie:Dennis Miller passed. He's very sick. He's in the hospital. Christ! It's like he wants to be caught.

Stevie:el nino is lifting The skirts el northe. Whoa-ho! Whoa! Hey, look at her ass!

Stevie:How many guys are Gonna come in here And blow me? / Do I look deaf to you? 'Cause you're talking To me like I'm deaf. Do deaf people walk around In $3,000 suits? I don't think so!

Stevie:You guys can just Take your cocks, And you can Put them on at 11:30 With all The other cocks, And you can call it The cock network.

Larry · Stevie:I thought you were 32. / Yeah. Well...

Stevie · Larry:I had to eat lunch, Larry. / With Jon Stewart. Yeah. / [Band starts playing] I see.

Stevie:That's what makes it A great company. / Country. / What did I say?