Dinner Party

Break me off a piece of that... [struggling with Kit-Kat jingle]

Applesauce... Chrysler car... Football cream

Even the receptionist is getting in on the creativity

MTV-on-crack kind of thing

Who let the Nard dog out?

You just got Nard-dogged!

Urban? I grew up in a small town. What about me seems urban to you?

Stanley is hilarious

Phyllis is like our Mrs. Butterworth. Kind of a less urban Aunt Jemima.

Papa Bear, Mama Bear, Baby Bear thing... Mama Bear.

I mean, when I tell people that I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers or muffins or mittens... And frankly all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.

Oh, it has losers.

In my second life, I was also a paper salesman and I was also named Dwight. Absolutely everything was the same. Except I could fly.

Zoom back further, the hotel is actually the playground of the world's largest prison. But we zoom back further...

I don't get paid by the hour anymore, but thank you. I get paid by the year.

We've been necking. But only necking. Right? Not actually kissing our mouths. Just neck on neck.

Angela can stay the same, but we'll change Andy to Dwight... That's not different enough. Dwike?

Shrek. Shrek. I'm a donkey. I'm a donkey, Shrek.

Well, actually I can't cook and I am starting a restaurant, Mike's Cereal Shack. I'm thinking we'll have as many varieties as you can buy in the store.

When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one or seen one... Couldn't even talk yet.

How about never-hundred hours, sir?

Ryan is being a little bitch again.

And thus Michael Scott sealed his own destiny. In a good way.

My nickname in high school used to be Kool-Aid Man.

Sue Grafton is at the Steamtown Mall. She's doing a book signing right now.

Does anyone actually know what Sue Grafton looks like? I mean is she hot, or... She's crazy hot.

I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.

What's rap?

You need to learn a lot about your own culture. I'll make you a mix.

It's called Second Second Life for those people who want to be removed even further from reality.

You're a sports writer in Philadelphia? Nice build, too... I did not know you played guitar.

I don't hate it. I just don't like it at all, and it's terrible.

Break me off a piece of that lumber tar... Snickers bar... Grey Poupon

So I kept on asking, and they finally threw me out of the store in front of all my friends.

Piss or get off the pot!

I passed out on my keyboard trying to decide.

Oh, D. Oh, D.

D for Andy.

[Jim's dawning realization reaction]

People are stupid. People like waving. Waving sells, not art.

In a fast-moving world, where good news moves at the speed of time, and bad news isn't always what it seems.

Break me off a piece of that Fancy Feast. It's the cat food. Nailed it.