Casual Friday

In our very limited free time and with our very limited budget, we went and got a nanny, and then we went out and took a class on a very outmoded and very unnecessary form of communication just so we can talk about you in front of you.

When I asked him to stop, he said, 'I will when you lose the baby weight.'

Very well. I must have imagined it. I apologize.

Detonator? Detonator. Where? Michael! Jim, are you clicking a detonator?

It's a pen.

Emotionally, and sexually, and orally.

She has a Pilates butt. But we need to find something to do this weekend beside have sex.

Did I say that? Yes, I did.

Because when your super-hot girlfriend says, 'I want to go to Mount Pocono,' you go to Mount Pocono, and you do her.

That seems quick, even for lesbians.

Ever since I found out that Donna might be cheating on me, I have not eaten or slept.

Oh, God, that tickles.

My doctor told me to cut out hotdogs. We all got problems.

Man, I was mad as hell at the time. But I said, 'Darryl, just wait. He's a fool. There's going to be an opportunity. Just be patient.'

It's never too early for ice cream, Jim. But we didn't have any ice cream, so this is mayonnaise and black olives.

You have a major self-destructive streak in you. I know. And you... You kind of torpedo every romantic relationship you're in. That's not true. You're right. I ruin everything.

Holly, Carole, Jan. Helene. Helene? My mother. Oh! My mother, Helene.

One thing you need to know about me, I don't quit until something tears or pops.

To see you naked while I'm naked.

Who eats eight protein bars? People who don't trust egg whites.

No, I like the attention.

You work at an adult arcade. You could have any man you want.

Well, you are bonerific.

Poop my pants.

♪ Andy don't mess with me ♪

The only thing I could make out clearly was, 'Andy, problem, eliminate.'

Heart-shaped jewelry is not something that a woman buys for herself, a man definitely bought it for her recently, and it wasn't Michael.

Darnell's a chump. I would've done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less.

Yes, yes, I desperately want to speak with you about my sex life with Jim.

I am, but I gave my clubs away. Swear too much.

Who the hell is this? Who is this guy? I don't know who it is. God! Lowest of the low, that guy. Just a notch above Toby.

That's good for five bucks at Dunkin' Donuts. Any Dunkin' Donuts.

Spice Girls are opening for Weird Al. Front row.

How do you know? Pam told me. Did she see me?

I'm the mistress?

If they catch us, they will rape us. Go for the cliff. And three, two, one, jump! No! You're dead, you're dead, you're dead. Good jump. You're barely alive.

The only logical way to find out if Donna is a cheater is to seduce her, bring her to orgasm, then call Michael and tell him the sad news.

I do not want to prank anymore.