St. Patricks Day

Nature's viagra. Two of my favorite joke areas combined. Gonna be a good day.

It is the closest that the irish will ever get to christmas.

Mega-desk. Command central. Surveillance, scanning, and business.

Tweedledee and tweedledum ass have been away on maternity leave. But now tweedledum ass is back, and we have a problem.

Getting more...Mega-desk. That is all I care about.

My dogs love peein' in that snow. Makes me think they're on to somethin'.

Have I been that naughty? / No, no, no. That is a good gift, actually. Uh, buildings here in scranton are literally powered by coal.

We don't get much coal down in tallahassee. I mean, just alligators and some of the worst chinese food you've ever tasted.

When you work for sabre, only one thing matters. And I don't care if you're a loser or you practice bestiality, if jo likes you, you are in.

It's actually my sister's old field hockey skirt.

Because according to how I met your mother, that's the date that your kids are gonna wait patiently to hear about, and you'd better have a good story for them.

False. I am an island. And this island is volcanic. And it is about to erupt with the molten hot lava of strategy.

The baby thinks that the refrigerator is its father.

I thought my mother was my father and my wet nurse was my mother. / That's a common mistake.

Turned out fine for me, but mose... Oh...Same story, different ending.

In your nose. / Yes.

Except once when I was in the hospital from age three to six.

Oh, jo, I have an idea for suntan lotion soap.

Oscar, homosexual accountant.

Darryl. Mellow, soulful, smart for warehouse.

Look at that picture that you drew. Nice job. We're very proud of you.

You know what, we are going to tape that up on the refrigerator in the kitchen.

How about July 4th weekend? / Oh, honey, you didn't buy a ticket. / I did.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have actually reserved a bunch of different seats on a bunch of different flights.

Enough!

Jo doesn't like michael anymore... Mm.

How many knocks does it take to get you to do some work?

* Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon * [Jim trying to work while Dwight sings loudly]

I'm not surprised that dwight's using my baby to steal my desk. But I'm a little surprised that it's working.

She's still gonna like me in a week. Right?

A real hoop dreams story you got there.

Does her family owe your family something in terms of a past injustice?

Now mike, I have to ask you to leave so that I can learn about this tiny television.

Well, if you can put your name on this day and be proud of the amount of work you've done, then by all means, you should toodle on home.

Just because jo has no life does not mean that the rest of us don't have lives.

Hey, pac-man. / Hey, what's up, butt plug?

Hike up your skirt and pull out your tampon, borrow some balls and come meet me!

I'm in my jammy jams. / That's okay, I'm in my worky works.

Or marryin' rich. And I did both.

So the baby can experience a strong male presence. [pause] No? Nothing? Okay.

And by the way, seriously, we never, never do this.

Your shirt tucked in? / Oh, yeah. Um. I must have did that when I used the bathroom.

Well, any brother of erin's is a friend of mine. / Cold hands.

Plus, you don't have to sit next to this big dork and her smelly feet. / Hey, my feet aren't smelly. / They smell like roses. Smell them.

Nice skirt. / It's a kilt.

It's not to celebrate st. Patrick's day. It's so I can protest st. Patrick's day.

I could get a girlfriend, wouldn't have to go to amsterdam seven times a year.

I want to have been married by the time I would've turned 30.

Very, very solid all the way arod.

As the irish poet bobby mcferrin said, 'don't worry, be happy.' Whoops.