After Mr. Burns hits Bart with his car, ambulance-chasing attorney Lionel Hutz persuades Homer and Marge to sue for a million dollars.
Early Season 2 finds rhythm: 55 jokes in 22 minutes, anchored by character-driven escalation.
Directed by Mark Kirkland · Written by John Swartzwelder
WAR
61
Wins Above Replacement
“Bart Gets Hit By A Car” ranks #46 of 226 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 84.2 — Elite. The episode packs 55 scored jokes at 3.2 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Lionel Hutz landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
Mr. Burns Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer, I'd like you to forgive me for doing the right thing.
Marge Character Comedy ★ Rewatch I don't like everything about them. Just their heads.
Mr. Burns Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Smithers, release the hounds.
The Supreme Court called. They need your help on a freedom thing. Tell them to sit tight. I'll get back to them.
All Jokes — 55 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Just give him a nickel and let's get going!
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Hey, cool. I'm dead!
Bart Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Please hold on to the handrail. Do not spit over the side.
Snowball! Do not spit over the side.
I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you? Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm the devil!
Spitting just clinched it.
Devil Callback Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback It's a mistake. You're due to arrive when the Yankees win the pennant. Nearly a century from now. Boy, is my face red!
Devil Observational Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Remember, lie, cheat, steal and listen to heavy metal music!
Devil Absurdist Observational And you were there! And you. And you. And you. You I've never seen before.
Bart Setup/Punchline Visual Gag It turns into a sponge in water.
How does a nice girl know that word?
Is that a broken neck? Great!
We've got a nasty bump on our head. Quit it! And a tiny broken toe. Quit it!
Simpson, at last we meet.
So extortion is the name of your game?
Tangle with me, and I'll crush you like a paper cup.
You don't have to do that. I can throw myself out.
The Supreme Court called. They need your help on a freedom thing. Tell them to sit tight. I'll get back to them.
Yes, Harvard, Yale, MIT, Oxford, the Sorbonne, the Louvre.
But just between you and me, I promise you a big cash settlement.
You'll also get this faux pearl necklace, a $99 value, as our gift.
You see that dark spot there? Whiplash.
Am I going to die? Yes, son!
Will I ever play baseball again? No!
The only person here who comes close is him. Stop, you're embarrassing me!
Oh, yeah. Tons of it. Just say when.
Let him twist in the wind. Slowly, slowly. When the papers have found their new flavor of the month, he'll find out this cat has claws!
But what is truth, if you follow me?
You mean like I'm dead? Sure. The kid's a pro.
I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!
Mr. Burns Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch You wouldn't dare! Well, no, I guess I wouldn't.
I was about to be struck by the luxury car of death!
Bart Wordplay/Pun Escalation ★ Rewatch Although sometimes I wish I had been.
Bart Dark/Subversive Character Comedy I was driving to the orphanage to pass out toys.
You cold-blooded monster!
What trial were you watching?
Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy Just get that ape to my house and we'll buy him off with a banana!
I don't like everything about them. Just their heads.
Mr. Burns Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch He's offering us this because he knows he'll lose and have to pay us a million.
$500,000! I spit on his $500,000!
Smithers, release the hounds.
My mother said, 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything.' Will that hold up? No, I've tried.
And he mispronounced words like 'abdomen.'
Well, we can't blame them for trying, can we?
Marge Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement A million dollars. My wife cost me a million dollars.
A million dollars' worth, you snake-woman! No. String beans? No, you two-timing, backstabbing-- Better answer. No.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy You're better off. Rich people aren't happy. They think they're happy but trust me, they ain't.
Homer, I'd like you to forgive me for doing the right thing.
Marge Character Comedy ★ Rewatch She's your wife of 10 years, you've had 3 children. It's time to be honest.
I'll still do the bed stuff.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Do it if it'll shut her up. Start with the feet. Still angry. Good, Homer! This is tough, need refreshment. Trustworthy beer.
Homer Character Comedy ★ Rewatch For the next 15 minutes, one-third off on every pitcher. One per customer, domestic beer only. Hey, no sharing!
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