With D.C. in the midst of a government shutdown, Selina is forced to furlough some of her staff. A damaging story leaks about Selina’s ex-husband, Andrew; Danny Chung takes advantage of the shutdown; Gary Jonah go on a run to retrieve Selina’s trash.
Political chaos peaks as budget negotiations spawn 68 jokes in pure escalation mode.
Directed by Becky Martin · Written by Simon Blackwell, Tony Roche
WAR
45.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Shutdown” ranks #59 of 65 Veep episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 72.5 — Solid. The episode packs 68 scored jokes at 1.8 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Selina landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
If you die within the next six years, I will be attending your funeral and giving a eulogy when POTUS sends me there in his stead. And it is gonna be full of subtext. Chock-full of subtext.
Selina Character Comedy Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Well, I look forward to that. Oh, wait, I'll be dead.
Speaker Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch It's bigger than your mother's womb and you were in there till you were 15. / Oh, my God.
Go, period, fuck, period, yourself, exclamation point.
Selina Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Oval Office ordering a pizza and an air strike. Thin crust, extra warheads.
Dan Character Comedy Dark/Subversive All Jokes — 68 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Did I hear the VP scream? No, that was me. And it was a shout.
That was a man's voice? Yeah, 'cause I'm a man. I have a man's voice.
Gary Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Keith stays, right? What? Keith. He's skinny like a skeleton.
Gary, the Secret Service is calling you Girly Shirley Temple.
Selina Gary Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Sue crying and saying 'I need a moment' when furloughed
Sue Reaction Beat Character Comedy He's like Spock. He doesn't show his emotions. Ever? Ever? No, not even then.
Dan only laughed when security guy fell off Segway, followed by 'Is laughter an emotion?'
Amy Mike Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Network the bejesus out of me. I want people to be sick of the sight of my face.
Sue Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Both: Roger Furlong. Thought that, too. So obvious, Furlong.
Gary Amy Running Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Wow, it's like anal leakage.
Gary Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Somebody bring me the chinless head of Roger Furlong.
Selina Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Get rid of it. Refuse it. / Okay, look, if the VP did have a window, it'd be a high one and she'd push you out of it.
You're pregnant? Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I did not mean that.
Gary Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pickle me eels and tickle me belly 'cause I am off to merry London Town for a right fuckabout, eh?
Jonah Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch It is a city where women are literally drunk all day. And I am going to mind their gaps, my friend.
Jonah Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Well, cum-for-brains, the government is shut down, so all the passport offices are closed.
Where's Sue? Where's Sue? Who's the new Sue? Me.
See, this is the problem with high-definition. You don't want to see a dick in hi-def.
Selina Observational Character Comedy What? I'm not overpaid. I'm independently wealthy. All right? Sorry.
Selina Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Ma'am, the stench at your home is gone. Thanks to me.
Gary Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch uppity princess in her perfumed palace
Amy Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Wait, how am I gonna know which bags are yours? Do you want to let me know some of the things that are in the bags?
Gary Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Awkward silence and door closing after Gary's question
Selina Amy Awkward Silence Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we've been having lunch and then we've been having sex. And not really cards so much. Just, you know, just, like, sex.
Amy Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch You dump him overboard like the toxic waste he is. / Come on, Amy. It is just so good. / Okay, then you see... see where it goes. / No, I have to end it. / Yeah. But I can't.
I don't actually have to touch the trash, do I? Yes, you've got to embrace it.
Are you threatening me, Pez head? Because we got a compactor that takes shit and turns it into cubes.
Why don't you offer to blow him over by the recycled glass? It would throw up some interesting light effects. That would be romantic, wouldn't it?
Jonah Character Comedy Dark/Subversive They get so hot for it, I call it the Wet Wing. / Okay, that's disrespectful. / It's a building, Gary. It doesn't have feelings. / It has a spirit. / No, it doesn't.
Vice president applauds shit compaction.
Yeah, and I'm just talking about the 1970s. / I'm not. I was thinking of the 18th century.
Slide to unlock. Selina Meyer is a feisty operator and a fine VP.
Speaker Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch 'Slide to unlock' - Speaker reading phone screen instead of presidential quote
Speaker Physical/Slapstick Absurdist ★ Rewatch Fine and successful are synonyms. / You're grasping at straws. / I'm not grasping for straws.
If you die within the next six years, I will be attending your funeral and giving a eulogy when POTUS sends me there in his stead. And it is gonna be full of subtext. Chock-full of subtext.
Selina Character Comedy Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Well, I look forward to that. Oh, wait, I'll be dead.
Speaker Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch So what you're saying is your career has stalled. So now you and your slack pussy want to make big bucks as an oil lobbyist, right?
Great. I'm gonna have the most expensive starter, the most expensive entrée, and a $200 bottle of champagne. / I think I'm gonna keep it light. I'm gonna go chicken salad and a Diet Coke. / Nonsense. Give him exactly what I'm having. And we will split the champagne. It's our first date.
Or he tried to fuck the bear. Like Grizzly Adams. / Enjoying yourselves? / We were. / Are you laughing at the violent death of a young man? / Yeah, pretty much.
Mike Kent Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch There's not a happy bear in show business. Or he tried to fuck the bear.
Forgot my noise-cancelling headphones. Guess what I just heard. I'm not here. Ergo, my ears aren't here either.
Kent Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch This ass is closed for business. This ass is in clench-down. I don't want to be a decoy. Let the president take it in the ass. He might like it.
Selina Character Comedy Escalation Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Here, the VP will be the lobster. Amy, greens. We'll call Mike carrots. Dan, you can be shrimp. Do you see what I did there, Dan? I made you shrimp.
Sidney Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Boy, I just wish I ordered a plate of useless assholes. But you go to war with the army you have, right?
Well, tap your ruby slippers together and wake the fuck up. There is no job, Dorothy.
So why don't you take your little vanilla Thriller dance over to Danny Chung? He's the shiny turd rising to the top of the bowl right now.
When I said fault, I meant that it wasn't your husband's fault because bears are naturally hungry. Does that make sense? Hello? Hello?
Mike Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Oh, please. Please. You think this is bad? Wait till you get to London. Everything smells like urine. Even the food.
Jonah Character Comedy Observational The Chinese invented pizza. / No, they didn't. / Yeah, they did.
That's as much a fact as Will's impotence. / I don't think that's appropriate. / He doesn't mind. Do you, Will? / Whatever works, sir.
I would have guessed Old Maid. / Want to play Go Fish? / Sure.
Yeah, you can start calling me the Hurty Dirty Man. / Yeah, I'm not gonna call you that. / All right. / I'm not.
It's like a sudden monsoon in Goa, sir. / Sudden monsoon. They predict those things weeks in advance, you idiot.
I know, it's hard to believe that they have female FBI agents. / Oh! / I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. / I love that kind of misogyny. / I love misogyny like that. / Yeah, it's the best kind.
We're gonna be the shitty Sopranos.
It's bigger than your mother's womb and you were in there till you were 15. / Oh, my God.
But heroes don't get to choose, they get chosen.
Oval Office ordering a pizza and an air strike. Thin crust, extra warheads.
Dan Character Comedy Dark/Subversive You know, I didn't realize how good I was at this job until someone else did it so badly. / Different isn't bad. / No, bad is bad.
Gary, they don't even walk on the moon anymore. They're basically a bunch of nerds who work in a hangar.
Selina Character Comedy Observational 'Gary, they don't even walk on the moon anymore. They're basically a bunch of nerds who work in a hangar.'
Selina Observational Character Comedy Go, period, fuck, period, yourself, exclamation point.
Selina Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Oh, you helped with the... with the garbage? Yeah, I helped with the garbage.
So Sue's the new Gary and you are still the Amy. / Yeah. / Yeah.
Selina Amy Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch She is furloughing indiscriminately into the crowd.
Dan Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Oh, well, what could possibly go wrong?
Dan Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy That's precisely what I want to do, Dan. / Good. / Oh, okay, then, yes. Exactly.
Ma'am, I-I just shovel it. I don't account for it.
Joe Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy