Florida

The last time I said that was when my pet gnus learned the true meaning of Christmas.

Classic Tracy... You'll miss this.

He's a three-year-old boy from Transylvania. Stay with me. His name is Dracul. Hear me out. He is a hemophiliac with a sleep disorder.

I'm spontaneous. For instance, I started talking before I had an example of how I'm spontaneous.

dear doritos, what about just selling bags full of your dust? I could put it on chicken or fish.

Then I have to drive around with my headlights off until someone flashes me. Then I have to... Well, it's not important.

She is the only person in the world to have sarcastic last words. 'I just want you to be "happy"." Mother, how I "miss" you.

Okay, I am not some kind of "nerdery" slut. I like Star Wars.

To that store that sells long-sleeve S.P.F. shirts!

No, you need a nobody to sign for that water. We're on TV.

I saw him pack a wig.

I'm Martin Lutherking from NBC's in-house counsel.

Hold my calls, giant bee.

- Wassername! - What's her name?

The baby shoe she found after that fire. God, she loved looting.

Her nickname here was Mrs. Silly.

Next, we'll be holding hands in adjacent bathtubs. Or maybe that was a Cialis commercial... it's all a blur.

If this is regarding an anaconda in a crawl space, press 1. If a sinkhole full of Indian bones has appeared in your living room, press 2. If you want to know why JAG wasn't on this week, press 3.

Why can't we just cut this state adrift and let it crash into Cuba?

What kind of dinosaur was your grandfather?

She's lying like a rug. 'Rug' is an offensive term for Persians that I made up.

Maybe that tall Asian one. Yeah, Miranda. Her hair is so thick and black.

I once played a lawyer in a movie, so I know all about winning your son's love back thanks to a magic camera.

And I didn't super-duper finish law school.

I have a gluten thing that turns my business white.

Shmesbians!

Where are my manners? This is Florida. Let me boil up a pot of hot gatorade. Is blue okay?

But they weren't lesbians. My God, of course they were!

Abraham Lincoln and his roommate, Joshua fry speed, slept in the same bed together until Joshua died from dancing too long at a party.

I DVR'd a documentary about the woman who designed all of pat summitt's blazers.

In some ways, I'm still pinned under a passed-out Harvey Weinstein, and it's Thanksgiving.

Sloppy Rodney? It's me, Richard Drench. I remember that ass.

For example, there isn't a hole in my pocket I keep touching my penis through. See? Easy.

What's the problem, Lemon? They're just lumpy flowers.

You know what Plato did have? A gay relationship with Socrates.

Finding hookers. Is that right?

Your pajamas have a turtleneck.

They're from the L.L. Bean maritime professional collection.

Face-to-face, or butt-to-butt?

There was a particularly youth-oriented priest in my childhood parish who went after everybody but me... Even fat Ralph, and he ate his boogers. I felt so unpretty.

I've never been high, except for that choir trip to Montreal where I accidentally ate a pound of marijuana.

First of all, it's 'champing' at the bit. Horses champ.

And I know those pots aren't flowers. They're my mother's vagina.

I've seen dresses that look fly, but never dresses that can fly.

I forgot to make an opening at the end of the slide.

Colleen's myna bird told me you spent the night in the car.

The first three died falling off the car during 'Summer lovin''.

I'm in Harry Potter world jail.

Want to see a porno my cousin is in?

I'm just trying to lick it off.

I came here without studying the park map beforehand, which is how I ended up in a long line that turned out to just be a crowd of people watching two owls have sex.

I just let him read his Hustlers without ever telling him I was a fan.

I know, and a woman of color too... good for her.

My mother died while naming me.

Why don't you discuss it with that little action figure you're married to?

Next Friday is your last show.

Kenneth doesn't have different hair anymore.

His body is just a smooth beige tube with a head.

There were these two African-American giants that were always pressuring me to join their book club.