In God We Trust

I enjoy bicentennials as much as the next guy, Mom, but we're not doing that.

Buster had been avoiding Lucille Austero since he accidentally flirted with her while not wearing his glasses

And then accidentally entered her apartment, thinking it was his mother's

Oh, here comes the 10:15 conniption, right on time.

Get away from that stove. You're going to light your hair on fire.

He's weak.

You're my third least-favorite child.

Michael came home to find his mother's fourth least-favorite child

Well, they got the Asian right. 'Hotties' might be a stretch.

Well, let's start with the little one.

Michael, do you have any idea what would happen if I were to visit prison? - Hmm. - It would be pandemonium.

Yeah, I got some of that... except he also didn't like my looks.

Come on. That would never happen. - She can't drive herself. - I mean, she's the world's worst driver.

Lucille had recently been featured on Fox's World's Worst Drivers

She didn't. I dummied her up a new one. Not my best work though. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. We ended up checking 'Albino' on the form.

She was having trouble even lifting up this bag of groceries.

For Gangy? - Yeah, how did you know? - She called and invited us.

Come on. This is a Bluth family celebration. It's no place for children.

Gob's got the charm, Buster's got the... - High-fastening pants. - Have you said that? No. I'm saying that now.

Lindsay was surprised once again that no heads were turned

It was a love between two cousins that the world thought was wrong. But it was the world that was wrong.

You strike one more person, and it's technically a spree.

And she was surprised that her family didn't show up

In fact, Buster was worried about running into Lucille 2. So he never left his mother's apartment. Lucille 2 was also supposed to go, but was waiting until she saw Buster emerge.

What frail act got you this time, Michael? She couldn't open a jar? What, did a clump of her hair come out in your hands?

I've been a horrible mother. - No, Mom. You're great. You've been a great mother.

Um, is it okay if I do it for Mom and not you? - Yeah. - 'Cause I really like Mom.

Yes. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. - No. Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes.

You and I. Is it 'I' or is it 'me'? - Buster, it's us. - Yes. It is us. Us.

And once again, no one showed up.

I let you drive, didn't I?

It's an idiot on a scooter at night? It's gotta be Gob.

I was thrown clear. I only care about you.

'Scoot'? Scooter. Was there a scooter involved?

It was a wild, wild ride.

My God, for the first time in years I felt like I was standing on solid ground.

Totally cool. Didn't feel a thing. You know, Mom, I'm crazy about this aspirin. I can't believe we give it to children.

Look, I don't want you thinking that your uncle is some sleazy character from the docks. - Good morning. - How are you? She's an Olympian... hopeful.

I just jumped through a plate glass window on a date.

Oh. Well, women love to laugh.

Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.

Nothing. Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.

It is obvious I'm not wearing a bra, right?

Your mother snuck 'em in here stuffed in energy bar wrappers

That's all I ever wanted from you, Daddy. For you to spend money on me.

Turn this skiff around. - We haven't even left the dock. But 'skiff' is appropriate, right?

Which was behind the passenger seat. Which means that she picked you up and dragged you over to the driver's seat.

I was halfway to South America, but I couldn't let you get away with it because we're brothers, Mom, and we kind of like each other.

No, no, Mom. You're great. That's crazy talk. You're a fantastic mother.

I knew society would never accept this. And they never will.

I was definitely driving that time.