Afternoon Delight

Except his shoes don't fit. But, I did finally got into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken out a little bit.

Worse that can happen is I can spill some on my $3,000 suit. Come on!

They used to roast Dad 'cause they thought that he had a sense of humor about himself, but he didn't, and neither do you.

Into the kitty! He is awesome. Meow.

I've never thought of you that way. / That's sweet.

I will be head to toe in blue makeup until 8:01 in case the Blue Man Group needs their understudy

People hear the name Tobias, they think-- big black guy. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy.

It's Ann. / It's good. Have fun. Boy's pulling away from you. Are we having yams?

You complained all the time, and she was my only wife. And she died.

That means she's not getting any from my brother Oscar.

First I blow him, then I poke him. Guy has no idea what he's in for.

He calls it a quest to recharge his chi. I call it an excuse for him to score his pot and wag his pickle at coeds.

Oh, that's ridiculous. I want you to move in with me.

Michael, a mother doesn't have a child to give herself company. Annyong was to teach Buster a lesson.

I can't change a hundred.

That could be good for Army.

That's about the worst thing I've ever heard. / I had to drive because she had a little bit of a buzz on.

I just don't want people's kids getting their sticky little fingers all over these 26,000 dollar pants.

So, should-should... should, uh, should... Should-should... Sh-sh-sh... Should-Should... should, uh, should...

Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice (bleep)ing or (bleep)ing of finger (bleep) or (bleep)sting or (bleep)ing or even (bleep). Even though so many so many people in this office are begging for it.

I'll take off my pants, I'll shave my (bleep). And I'll personally (bleep)...

Everybody dance now!

There's no shame in being a coward. / A coward? I'm not a coward.

The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing.

Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

How the worm has turned.

You have 101 unheard messages. First message.

Oh, if you're worried about my husband, it's fine. He's no bigger than a Cub Scout. You could take him, and you could certainly take me.

This has been pleasant and professional. Good luck in the coming business year.

It is the worst Christmas party I've ever been to in my life. Now, watch this.

Jesus, bleibet meine Freude / Meines Herzens Trost / Jesus wehret / Allem Leide...

No, no, they said I could leave for the second hour of silent prayer.

that 'Afternoon Delight' was more adult-themed than its innocent melody would have you believe.

And the thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting / Skyrockets in flight...

Seven grand-- you better believe I love them. I mean, look... look what you're wearing. You look like crap.

(bleep) you, Tom.

No, you know what, you're fired. No, you're all fired. Each and every one of you. Merry Christmas.

The guy who's dirty dancing with his niece is going to tell the guy in the 36...hundred dollar suit how to run the business. Come on.

I walk in and there's a colored man in my kitchen. / "Colored"? What color was he exactly? / Blue.

Um... maybe a little "Afternoon Delight"?

Oscar thought that Michael was referring to a particular brand of cannabis named "Afternoon Deelite," a strain famous for slowing behavior.

which way do I try to get it in her? / I don't need any details. / Maybe I'll put it in her brownie.

Oh, I got blown! So I can't sleep!

Sure-sure, the guy in the $600 banana suit. Come on!

And I think I might try nibbling a little afternoon delight... / That's my wife and nephew!

We have an open relationship!

Hey, Mikey, relax. It's just a giant banana.

They're laughing with me, Michael. They're laughing with me.

Hey, it's Tobias. Who wants to take me to the hospital?

Does not seem like it would be that dirty. / It is catchy. That's the thing.

Unfortunately, he can't hear it and his life stays the same.