Queen B.

They take no prisoners... because they are prisoners... at the Orange County Correctional Facility L.I.T.E.

They're the ruling gang in this four-star hellhole

Real Asian Prison Housewives of the Orange County White Collar Prison System

one of our members is a real 'B' word

In civilian life, we'd just vote Lu out, but here... she's gonna end up on the wrong end of a noodle

Uncooked. You get me?

Their bark is louder than the dogs they eat back home

Anyone who comes after me is going to be one unfortunate cookie

I made a pun

It's Lucille's 'Arrested Development'

Years before her behavior had become 'bossy, bossy' with the Jade Dragon Triad

Full steam, boys!

you're usually as hard to miss as Liberace wearing a fright wig

I'm practically counting your crow's feet

maybe I should turn back and show you another bird

But it was clear that Lucille 2 hadn't heard it

in a fit of what sailors call 'sea rage'

Coming about, boys!

in what can only be described as a 'sail-past' gone wrong

Correction: good news for Barry

She stole the 'Queen Mary' to get away from the SEC. Oh, and she winked.

Correction: it's a glare

It's only a trial separation. I made a pun.

Even in this time of stress

This toast has hook holes... again! I told you to get rid of that thing; it's hideous.

what's gonna happen when they swear you in? You're gonna rip the Bible in half. The jury will love that.

Maybe you could hook me up with a little stimmy. Lil' stimmy.

And I want stimmy to get a hook that'll do that

Homosexuals kidnapped the boat and took it on a joy ride. Mother didn't want to trample their rights, so she let them.

Make it an eel. It's gonna be an eel! Better.

I'm staring at a hundred years in the face! How dare you.

It sure would be a shame if something happened to your pretty little key witness. Star witness. And are you threatening yourself?

And he's supposed to be the good one

Actually, they'd claimed those things years earlier when she was having a sunspot checked

I've made a pun. Oh, how could I not do it for my oldest friend? Oh! Now I've gone and done a double. A double.

Like your pre-surgery chin. Or your post-breakfast drink.

Your references are as fresh as the wallpaper in the room of that pretend child you've had all these years

Your pillow must look like a Rorschach test. Not that there'd be anyone to see it.

Says the woman whose liver can be spotted from outer space

Well, our cashier's pregnant, and she's not married, so...

A $20 gratuity is appreciated?

The same girl who hands me towels does the cavity checks. You tip.

That's a gang? I thought they were tech support.

'Roop hore'? Roop hore. You couldn't have chosen a harder word to say.

Your move, Olive Garden

You couldn't have chosen a harder word to say

And soon the Dragons were taking 'drags on' their cigarettes again

I got Olive Garden to offer us unlimited bread

Who better than the Chinese to help us build a wall, right?

Ancient Chinese secret, huh? It's no secret-- we'll kill you.

My God, he Steamboat Willied it

I can't tell you who, 'cause I'm dating someone famous. someone... famous.

That was an a...?

I'm as normal as blueberry pie

You look as swishy as Ryan Seacrest. Ryan Seacrest is straight. And I'm 40!

Perhaps that's why they call this place Au-stare-ity

He thinks that horrible monster looks like me! So fine, you want to call me a villain, I accept it! I'm your villain!

Take to the sea!

♪ My heart is in pain / I just want to flee / From me. ♪

Rules are meant to be broken, huh? We have Dove bars?

Gene! He does this to me every time! What's he doing here, Mom? I thought he was that guy.

She missed a step. Tell her she missed a step. She can't do it like that.

Do you think I'm here for the donkey punch? Which I do love, and it's the only night you can get it.

What you are is the Invisible Girl. You make it impossible for people to see you in order to protect yourself.

They're going to be talking about this bomb for years

They're going to be talking about this bomb for years. Oh, God, it is bad, isn't it?