A New Attitude

And then thanks for the birthday card that I never got from you for the last 40 years.

...that led to this tinkling match.

I've met someone. Can't really give you any information-- kind of famousy.

Also famousy. Can't give you any information.

Is it Julie Bowen? / No, it's not. / Is yours Julie Bowen?

I want to hear you say the words 'I'm not seeing Julie Bowen.' / I have not seen Julie Bowen. / Well, that's a funny way to phrase it.

But soon the hard lemonade softened their competitive edge.

No, they don't.

I'm not talking about selling these mausoleums. I mean destroying Tony Wonder.

I need you to act as my boyfriend to help me get in.

I am your brother. / You sound like my son.

I love magic, of course. I mean, my dad's a magician. Well, you're my dad, I mean, so, so you should know.

Well, technically gay night at a magic club.

and then thanks for the birthday card that I never got from you for the last 40 years.

This was extra hard for Steve to hear on his actual birthday.

that wasn't for revenge, that was just on spec.

Jesus. / No, that would be a 'J.' This is a 'T.'

He got the last laugh, which, in this case, happened to be the first laugh.

Listen, if you insist on speaking to me like you're my wife, then don't be surprised to find my [bleep] in you and then you never hear from me again.

I should have my attorney Bob Loblaw look at this.

It's Gob's Arrested Development.

Do I seem like a clown to you? / I got it. / Do I seem like some kind of a clown to you?

No, the Gothicassle. Yes, the Gothic Castle. / No, I didn't say the Gothicassle.

I think you look amazing. / I'll take it. / Great. / No, no. The compliment, not the shirt.

which, that night, did actually kind of resemble the Gothicassle.

I do know that your daddy wants you to get your hot, little, tight, little, hot ass right up there right away to see him.

and I just needed a believable arm candy bean.

And don't make that face; you look homophobic.

the Fakeblock thing will scrub it away. / You know about Fakeblock? / You know, that's my software.

You're giving me these craz... / Mad? / N...

Bit my tongue, that little bitch. / Oh, no, he didn't. / They're always doing that. / I mean, oh, no, he didn't.

I never want to sleep with you again. / I mean, I probably will. I don't. / But are we good?

Who's the dumbwaiter now?

Well, I'm here, I'm queer, and now... I'm in a chair!

Did somebody say Wonder? / Nobody actually did that time, but I think he got away with it.

Now everybody's gay! / They started out gay.

Did somebody say Wonder...ing?

See, it's like a quotation mark, but with a 'W.'

You should have seen me when they took me out of the storage locker.

I even shaved them. Want to feel? / Wow, they are smooth. / Like a lady's. / I think.

Valet is closing. The Cabriolet-- license plate: 'ANUS TART.'

As it turns out, they did a lot more than steal pies.

Don't call me girl, friend.

Oh, I have a list of men that could fill every opening you have.

That was all cheese, but no mustard.

I'm not here right now, because I'm right behind you. Made you look. But how did I know you looked? Because I'm right behind you! Made you look again.

Who wants to help me build a wall to keep Mexicans out of America? [bleep] / All right, all right! Who wants to help me build a wall for no reason? It's a different wall.

You should get the Chinese to build your wall. We make great walls. / I'm Chinese; I know all Chinese.

Would you get off my [bleep], Mother! / Well, if I wasn't sure you were gay, I am now.

Trust me, I am all man. Give me a little leg shave?

Poor guy doesn't realize I'm about to destroy our life. Our life? I mean, destroy our life with Gob. Dest... I'm going to destroy our life-- my life-- with Gob.

♪ Hello darkness, my old friend... ♪ Destroy my life with Gob.

It seemed Sally had two secrets.

I'm going to need the gayest. / Did you say the 'grayest'? / I need the, uh, gayest one. / Did you say the 'grayest'?

She's got a kid, he's acting like he's Father of the Year or something. I bet he's pretending Steve Holt is, like, nine. I just saw him, he looks 50.

First of all, that's very dated of you, Michael. 'He's' don't like to be called 'she's'

It said 'Love each other' on the foot band. / Yeah, that does sound like one of mine.

It was a merry mix-up.

It was a merry mix-up.

This gay bar would be the best...! / ...something that can fillet a chicken and subdue an intruder.

With sex offenders.

It's, like, God... you get me. Well, you're an easy guy to get.

Same! I was gonna say it. Same! I was thinking the same. That's so weird! ...same. ...same. Crazy! ...zy!

It almost went down my throat.

I would definitely stay and have gay sex with... or normal sex with you, but...

I have... feelings for you.

The feeling was friendship, but neither had ever experienced it.

Oui. / What? We what? / No, oui. It's French for 'yes.'

We're going to destroy Tony's career by proving that he's straight when he has sex with you while you're wearing... this Gob mask.

It's a straight bait.

You think the Shubert Organization would entrust a project like Dreamgirls to a straight producer?

Biggest fake gay there is, by the way.

Now everybody's gay!

Stupid, forgetful Michael.

Who was that? / No one.