The Cabin

David walking in on his parents having sex - 'Oh my go-oh my God!'

'I saw hell is what's happening'

'having sex is not just about making children so they can grow up and make you feel bad about having sex'

'Shame on you for attempting that position at 8 o'clock in the morning'

Roland's euphemism 'bump the old uglies'

'you wanna bring the boat into port and maybe... get your mast scrubbed'

'What're you guys down to now? Like... twice a day?'

'Sex life's in the crapper. I just offered him the cabin.'

'feel free to use the restraints. We keep 'em under the bed'

'Pick a safe word'

'I don't want to turn into my parents. Separate beds, separate rooms. Well, separate countries.'

'Am I being punished for something?' / 'David, are you dirty peeping tom?'

If you tell me that you're pregnant, I'm gonna vomit on this floor right now

'Didn't you once take the wrong baby home from preschool?' / 'Alexis looked Chinese as an infant.'

Alexis looked Chinese as an infant

Roland's elaborate directions to the cabin with multiple turns and landmarks

'It was so clean. It was really clean.' / 'because you had a maid to keep it very clean for you.'

'No. I kept it clean after Cecilia cleaned.'

'I am looking forward to sleeping in a bed that his not... made for a toddler.'

'I'm out of mask.'

'you do have an interest in lounging on a bed that mom and dad have had sex all over?'

'I miss being surrounded by loose acquaintances who think that I'm... funny, and smart, and charming.'

'Any more and game play gets too yelly. It gets very yelly.'

'Key's under the mat, is it? The key is under the mat! Agh! That's great! Lying son-of-a...'

Key's under the mat, is it? The key is under the mat! Agh! That's great! Lying son-of-a... Agh! Idiot man! Moron!

The porn scenario beginning with 'Well hellooooo. Oh, my car broke down and it's raining'

'Oh, all those types of people move away from here.' / 'That's funny.' / 'No, I'm serious.'

'He finished high school.' / 'I don't love his look.'

'looks are important? Oh... Why don't we throw a pageant?'

'Trust me, if I had time, we would, but we don't, so...'

'She get it?' / 'Get what?' / 'Like "get it" get it. It, like the vibe.'

Can I be on your team? You sound really fun.

I was half expecting early unibomber

'Roland has gay friends! Again, shocked and delighted.'

'I think that's his wife.' / 'No, they're both called husband.'

they just don't know any better

'She used to be my babysitter.' / 'Great. Wow. Okay.'

'there's a 50/50 chance there's meat in it'

'I don't think I can fit ten names on this piece of paper.'

'Can you put yourself down?'

'Who the... Bleep... is this?' / 'He's the worst, okay? So just breathe through it.'

No worries. We're here for the party. Keg's in the truck

'I can't see out of one eye. But I'm still alive, that's the main thing.'

'this is our cabin.' / 'Oh, no, no, no. This is Roland and Jocelyn's cabin.' / 'No, they're a mile up the road.'

'You can't say mother! You can't say mother!' / 'She wasn't getting it.' / 'That's the point!'

'Every time the vein in my brother's eye twitches, we take a drink.'

'I'm sorry that I wanted to have fun tonight and invite a few random guys over and try and make out with them, okay? You're not the only one dying in this town.'

'So his eye twitched five times, so drink up, bitches!'

'we didn't realize that, uh, strangers would already be in the cabin when we locked it.'

'believe it or not, we are in the middle of a very intense game of drunken charades and my team is losing. Badly.'

'It's not my thing either, but you were right; We're way too similar and I am having a very hard time losing'

'Maybe there's um... some other way you can pay me, if you get my drift.'

'Well, maybe I'll use a bigger screw, Mrs. Rose.'