Rooms By The Hour

Is it a job? / I don't know, do I look like Ginnifer?!

David, your inability to retain information that doesn't directly pertain to you might actually require medical attention!

David there's nothing here but... 'hot singles in my area.'

Attractive and spunky forty-something female. / In my sleep!

The Crows Have Eyes... Two. / It's a sequel, that's good. It must mean the first one was a big success. / I've never heard of it.

And so it begins again.

My associate usually works the computer, But uh... let's get you booked.

Are you new at this? / Ish. (Laughs)

Who's the other actress? / Well, they haven't found her yet.

I'm sure you've seen 'The Crows Have Eyes.' / I have never heard of it, but congratulations.

God, it'd be such big shoes to fill. / No, Twyla, no. No deprecatory mocking.

He looks like if Ricky Martin and Mark Consuelos had a baby.

Why should the person who is performing surgery on your pet have to have a six pack?! / You have a six pack.

That's not the point! And... it's not a full six yet, That's why I'm shredding right now.

If he wants to sell sex, then he should just get a job down at the Dude Cave! He'd make more money than being a vet!

Um, what's the Dude Cave? / It's the all male strip club outside of town. My cousin Dwayne works there; he drives a Corvette.

That is very popular with people who hate their jobs, or are in loveless marriages.

Start from five, you leave out the two, and the one. / Okay, why? / Because it's my process.

Oh, you'll see! And it's not a flock, my dear boy... it's a murder.

Sorry, um, this is... just one big rip off of 'The Birds!' / This is about crows! It's much more specific!

'Look, they've taken Clara!' 'Where are they carrying her to, Clara?' Are there two Claras?!

It's a common name. / Yeah, the next scene takes place in a large bird's nest.

I actually think you do play off a corpse in the next scene, and... if I'm being perfectly honest, this is all playing a bit big.

A note, coming from my son?! Who I carried for almost a full seven months

Who I carried for almost a full seven months

Your new partner just booked three rooms, before you even got in this morning. / Wow. Ha!

So you're renting our rooms by the hour?! / We haven't had a guest in four days!

But when it turns out I'm right, and it's just a group of business professionals decompressing for a few hours, during a... long day at a regional accountants' conference, then I expect a full apology.

You don't hear it, when you say it like that? / I hear it a bit.

This isn't one of those animal rights viral videos where the bunnies go through a meat processor in the end, is it?

This isn't one of those animal rights viral videos where the bunnies go through a meat processor in the end, is it?

That's like, double your Instagram followers. / Okay, my account is private, thanks.

No, Ted is getting naked on your webcam!

Ted looks good. / Yeah, he does. / David, he looks really good. / Okay, that's gross.

And that's something we didn't discuss. / And?

We're a very high-end operation, and very discreet.

Besides, people are making love in these rooms, whether they rent by the day, the week, or the hour.

people are making love in these rooms, whether they rent by the day, the week, or the hour.

Oh no, why didn't you tell me the camera could see me when I get back from my runs?! / I just noticed!

Although there was a moment last night, where it looked like you might have known, and you were doing this like, thing with your hips.

People were very concerned as to whether or not you would get your pants on successfully.

Well... who's to say that people weren't watching for the bunnies? / I am, that's what I'm saying.

Well, what can I say, sometimes I like to live dangerously. While still respecting my personal boundaries.

You booked it. / Ohhhh! David! I did?

Ooh, it's filming in Bosnia! Um, in a city that I don't, I don't know the name of the city, I can't pronounce it, a lot of consonants.

You'll be put up with a local family.

There's a death waiver?! / Ohh!

Yeah, but we haven't even gotten to the section on bird safety yet! / Shut it! Now.

when I first heard that Stevie was hitching her wagon to your cart, the first thing that came into my mind was, whoooa, Nelly! That horse is in big trouble.

A convoluted metaphor, but um...

we don't talk about our feelings, we keep 'em all rawrrr inside!

Who's Ken? / Well, Ken is probably her husband. / Uh huh, and she doesn't know what he looks like?

Well, I'm really happy to hear that, because I would hate to have to assert my mayoral authority in a situation like this, yes?

Well, I'm really happy to hear that, because I would hate to have to assert my mayoral authority in a situation like this, yes?

Well, you know what, I'm glad I helped you fix your uh, broken moral compass. / Well, there's nothing wrong with my moral compass, but... / All right, well, why don't we tell Kitty that?

while the Bosnian Riviera is a majestic locale, it can't hold a candle to singing... with you wonderful working women here, in our makeshift rehearsal studio.

John and I made David to that song, in Pusitano.

♪ K-H-E-O-K! ♪

(Moira sings in another language) / (Moira sings loudly)

(Moira sings loudly in another language)