The Presidential Suite

They're cuticle shears, John. Do you expect hedge clippers to be drawn from my purse?

I'm sorry, taut? What is that, old English? How bout I hold it tight?

How long is this gonna take, Johnny, should I cancel my New Year's plans?

I think I need to lie down, that blindfold was quite taut.

I want us to look like two very rich people that have just woken up after fainting on a dusty old couch.

I got thousands downstairs.

No, you get to drive him to the spa where he will indulge in a relaxing five minute scalp massage followed by some light sun.

I'm sorry, did you say sun?

Yeah, see, side by side my Mediterranean complexion makes you look a little anemic so the spray will just even it out.

The Under the Sea theme is only available during winter months.

Ew Ted, they made you drink milk on the airplane?

Hi, uh sorry there were limited options at the airport gift shop. 'Have a great flight', so sweet.

Yeah, yeah, no need to milk it.

I'm reminded John of Shanghai and our Party Secretary Suite with its own aquarium, I'd lay in a claw foot tub watching the orcas.

At Rose Video, he made me purchase the blue-ray of my gritty feminist police drama, 'Miranda Rights'.

Miranda is so sassy when she went undercover for that wet T-shirt contest.

Oh, be careful, John, lest you suffer vertigo from the dizzying heights of your moral ground.

Yeah, I'm going for an English estate in the offseason.

Okay, well that's fraud and you're a criminal

You look like a cheese puff.

I'm practically Sicilian, you don't need that much sun.

you look like one of those people who has that skin condition from eating one too many carrots.

I'd rather not walk in on her and her zumba instructor, don't wanna have to zoom back here.

You're starting to sound like me trying to end things with B-Rock on the Backstreet Boys Millennium Tour.

You know that I can't make big decisions under pressure, that's how I ended up with a pixie cut at prom.

Well, I'm sorry I'm not an alchemist, John

it's like trying to force oneself through the eye of a needle.

Yes, in the same way road crustations are known to make due in old soda cans.

David, those are just ones where you look good.

No, I was being very, very sarcastic.

or I do have head shots from my pageant days that I could mail out to them.

I think that you are the most beautiful girl this town's ever seen.

'Cause I did that with Harry Styles in England, it was like too rainy.

I know you, Alexis, and you always make the right decision. Eventually.

Oh, it's my JFK, just playing into the theme.

Best to leave the voice work to me when setting a mood.

Oh, I guess martinis work better than wax, huh?

we'd be swapping mattresses.

The man's from Boston. - John! - Coming Moira And FDR said that.

More like I politely but forcefully asked everyone to leave.

Also, I may have forgotten about the whole milk situation.

I skipped the class that taught us how to... care for large mammals and I don't know how to get it to leave.

Actually, those flies are an invaluable piece of the puzzle in the study of evolution, but... yes we do have our fingers crossed that there are still a few more out there.