The Seven

I love it when people are complimented on their clothes. And they accept the compliment as if it was about them. Nice tie. Well, thank you. Thank you very much. The compliment is for the tie. It's not for you. But we take it.

And that's the job of clothes. To get compliments for us.

Because it's very hard to get compliments based on your human qualities. Right? Let's face it. No matter how nice you are, nobody is gonna say; 'Hey, nice person.' It's much easier to be a bastard and just try and match the colours up.

Oh, look at this. Boy. Oh, I miss the days when they made toys that could kill a kid.

That is a Schwinn Sting-Ray. And it's the girls' model.

Oh, yeah, it would be great for your paper route.

The only way to really help her is to just let her be.

So your baby daughter is gonna be Susan's second cousin, right? So, what does that make me? It doesn't make you anything.

Well, so, legally, I could marry your daughter.

Come on, I'm eating here.

All right. I'll tell you what. You look like nice people. I'm gonna help you out. You want a beautiful name? Soda.

All names sound strange the first time you hear them. Are you telling me people loved the name Blanche the first time they heard it?

I solve problems. That's just what I do.

Oh, Jerry. You got no mustard. It's on the door. What, this yellow stuff? No, I said, mustard, Jerry. Dijon.

That's bush league. No.

Yeah, you're right. I really should keep more of your favourites on hand.

I was under the impression that I could take anything I wanted from your fridge. You take whatever from mine. Let me know when you get something in there, and I will.

Oh, I doubt you strained it. Maybe you pulled it. Maybe. Did you twist it? You could have twisted it? I don't know. Did you wrench it? Did you jam it? Maybe you squeezed it and turned it?

I would give that bike to the person who could make this pain go away.

Well, you're arterioles have constricted. Oh, yeah. A wise man once taught me the healing power of the body's natural pressure points. He sells T-shirts near the World Trade Center. He's a genius.

What's even more amazing is his formal training is in paediatrics.

Well, that's the most he's worked in the last four months.

I got a great name for our kids, a real original. You wanna hear what it is? Are you ready? Seven.

What, you don't like the name? It's not a name. It's a number. I know. It's Mickey Mantle's number.

Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of school. Seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and, eventually, seven years to life.

How about Mug? Mug Costanza. That's original. Ketchup. Pretty name for a girl. How about Bisquick? Pimento? Gherkin? Sauce? Maxwell House?

I'm not engaged.

Sort of a mooching inventory. No, not mooching. Because at the end of the week you add them. And you give me the bill.

If we can't take each other at our word, all is lost.

Three days. Well, maybe you caught her on the cusp of a new wash cycle. You know, she did laundry the day after she met you. Everything got clean. She started all over again.

Why? It's our first date. She's already in reruns.

Einstein wore the exact same outfit every day. Well, if she splits the atom, I'll let it slide.

Mickey? Mickey....

I don't wanna get into the physics of it. But you know the sound a can makes when you open it? Yeah. That is the sound of you buying a whole can.

When you pierce the skin of a piece of fruit, you've bought the whole fruit. Not a third of an apple. Not a half of a banana. You bite it, you bought it.

Well my friend Jay Riemenschneider eats horse all the time. He gets it from his butcher.

You are the last person I figured would do something like this. I mean, George, yeah, I can see that. Even Jerry. But not you, Elaine. I always put you up here. They're over here. Now you're all...

Well, I don't know how original it's gonna be. Why not? Well, I was telling Carrie about our argument. And when l told them the name, they just loved it. They're naming their baby Seven.

Oh, it's got cachet, baby. It's got cachet up the ying-yang.

Hey, you're riding a girls' bike. Kramer. Kramer.

I don't know. I couldn't see. I couldn't look down because of my neck. Didn't you get a glimpse? An impression?

What is he talking about? He's being ridiculous. Look, Jerry, you know the whole story. You should settle this.

Someone whose heart is so dark it cannot be swayed by pity, emotion or human compassion of any kind.

As a federal employee, I believe the law is all we have. It's all that separates us from the savages who don't deserve the privilege of mail. Stuffing parcels in mailboxes, where they don't belong.

What happened to Soda? I thought we all agreed on Soda. We don't care for Soda. You don't care for Soda? No, no. We don't like Soda at all. How do you not like Soda? It's bubbly. It's refreshing.

What about Six? Nine? Thirteen? Thirteen is no good. Fourteen. Fourteen.

Is she wearing the same thing over and over again? Or does she have a closet full of these like Superman?

You know, the thing is, I kind of promised the widow Mantle that I would name my baby Seven. Now's not the best time, George. So am l.

We will cut the bike down the middle and give half to each of you. What? This is your solution? To ruin the bike?

Only the bike's true owner would rather give it away than see it come to harm. Kramer, the bike is yours.

Well, tell it to the judge, honey. I'm going for a ride.

August 17th, 1992. The same dress. She never changes. Oh, my God. She's gotta have hundreds of these dresses.

In the morning, we'll walk out together. Both dressed, different clothes. I'll be in the same clothes. You'll be in different clothes, as it's your place. We'll go down. Me in my same clothes, you in different clothes.

Tell me what you're wearing tomorrow. I'll help you lay it out on the bed.

I'm family. I'm having sex with the cousin. Seven! Seven!

Don't hang up on me. Why do you always wear the same dress? Hello?

All right, Hobo Joe. I didn't wanna put a damper on your smorgasbord. But it's the end of the week, so I added up your tab.

Solid tires, reinforced seat post, heavy-duty shocks. But, baby, this is one sweet ride.

Elaine, Elaine. Help me. Help me. Help. Help. Help.