Susan Ross

Kramer · Susan:Oh, hello. Oh, hello. - Hello.

Susan:Oh, it was only vomit.

George · Susan:Is Ted Danson's deal standard? / Ted Danson? / You know, the guy from Cheers. / Yeah, I know who he is. / You're not Ted Danson. / I didn't say I was Ted Danson.

Jerry · George · Susan:Bubble boy tried to kill me. What? Susan, tell them. It's a long story.

Susan · Susan's father:He's doing Johnny Carson, Daddy. - I didn't care much for his jokes.

Susan · Susan's father:Daddy never laughs. - Oh, well, so what? Laughter. What is that? I mean, what is the point of opening your mouth and going: 'Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!' What is that?

Susan · George · Susan's father:George? - Burned. - Burned? - There was a fire, and it- Burned. - The cabin burned? - Yeah, burned. Burned?

Susan:From John Cheever! 'Dear Henry... last night with you was bliss. I fear my... orgasm has left me a cripple. I don't know how I shall ever get back to work. I love you madly, John. P.S. Loved the cabin.'

Susan:You are a stupid, stupid man.

Susan:I'm not a soft-boiled egg. And I am not a piece of toast.

Susan:Why were there so many cockroaches?

Susan · George:Since you and I broke up. - So after me, you... went that way?

George · Susan:I need, like, 35. Thanks. - So was it me? - Oh, don't be ridiculous. Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?

Susan · George:You're an idiot. - Why? That's a legitimate sociological question.

Susan · George:Oh, and George, by the way... you stink. You need a bath. - It's not me! It's the car!

Susan:George, I'm starting it.

Susan · George:The Lauers? Really? Do you not wanna go? No, no. I wanna go.

George · Susan:Spring! Rejuvenation, rebirth, everything is blooming. All that... If you don't wanna marry me, George, just say so!

Susan:Oh, don't worry. Yes, of course, of course.

Susan:There's a lot of women that would love to be in your position right now.

Susan:Oh, he is impossible to shop for, Uncle Ned.

George · Susan:You want a little tuna fishy? - Yeah, a little tuna fishy. Fishy.

Susan:Because you love your little Kiki, don't you?

Susan:We're out of Bosco.

Susan:Quite the décolletage for a suffragette.

Susan:The vault?

George · Susan · Frank · Estelle:The missing marble rye revelation and Frank's theft

George · Susan:What, you don't like the name? It's not a name. It's a number. I know. It's Mickey Mantle's number.

Susan:Well, I don't know how original it's gonna be. Why not? Well, I was telling Carrie about our argument. And when l told them the name, they just loved it. They're naming their baby Seven.

Susan · George:Boy, she's beautiful, don't you think? I wish I looked like that. - Turn it off. You're making me jealous.

Susan · Elaine:Wait a minute. I thought that Art wanted to give up the exporting. - What did I say? - The importing. - I did? - So, what does he import? - Chips. - What kind of chips? - Potato. - Some corn. - And what does he export? - Diapers.

Susan:I already asked him that. He said, 'Good. Good day.'

Susan · Charmaine:Would you pick a station! I like them all.

Susan:Oh, great. Now the volume knob fell off.

George · Susan · Charmaine:What's this? Oh, God. What? It's a c... It's a condom!

Susan:George? Hi, honey.

George · Susan:Even a tiny doubt, a dot of a doubt... Because if there's any doubt at all, I feel that we should cultivate it. Cultivate it?

Susan:I've decided to go with the chicken.

Kramer · Susan:No, Susan. No, no, it's Lilly. I think I know my own name. It's Susan. Well, you look like a Lilly.

Susan · George:He doesn't even know my name. That was an honest mistake. No, he's too weird. He'd fall or something. He'd ruin the whole ceremony.

George · Susan:I've always smoked. I've never seen you smoke. Oh, yeah, well, big smoker.

Susan · George:What's so funny? You don't have any money. I make more money than you do. Yeah, give me the papers, I'll sign them.

Susan:Oh, these are so cheap. Don't forget tomorrow. We're shopping for rings... so don't make any plans. And this time we're not skimping.

George · Susan:You know. Pleasuring you. It feels like aliens poking at my body.