Youve Got To Be A Football Hero

Jackie:Do I have to call security?

Jackie:Will asking Jackie to Lakers game 'three hours before game time'

Will:You dating somebody right now? Well, how come I'm the last to know?

Will · Jackie:Dude is probably some snaggletoothed... pie-faced, snausage-lipped, hunchback... It's Hank Farley.

Jackie:It's Hank Farley. Heisman Trophy winning fool.

Will · Jackie:You strip away the shoulder pads and the muscles... and the dimples and what you got? You.

Uncle Phil:Ask him if he got any sevens, Hil.

Ashley · Phil:Did you ever have one of those days when you just don't feel pretty? No.

Ashley:Oh, that's real comforting coming from my father.

Ashley · Hilary:You mean, you've had nights where you felt fat and ugly? Okay, so I don't know exactly what you mean.

Will:Of course, when Hollywood got a hold of my story... they made it a white dude.

Will:I'm gonna go have some chips. I'm gonna... I'm feeling chippy.

Will:Hey, Jackie! I didn't see you standing in front of the dip.

Hank:If that was a sorority out there they would know what my name was.

Carlton:was that the Ohio State game where you fumbled three times?

Carlton · Hank:Well, I played basketball once without a leg. Then that explains why your jokes are so lame.

Will:Hey, now, was that your call, or did the coach send that in?

Jackie · Carlton:Carlton, do you wanna dance? You wanna dance with me? Really?

Carlton:I thought there was a chemistry between us. Ever since the day we met, there was an indescribable something... Do you wanna dance?

Hilary:Well, we all knew that Ashley was, well, cute... but with my help, she has turned into an absolute knockout.

Phil · Hilary:Well, honey... she looks like you. I know. Isn't it great?

Ashley:Nice? I look like Honey, I Shrunk the Hilary.

Ashley:Hello, Robert? Listen, I can't go. I got stuck babysitting my little brother. Yeah, me too. Well, bye.

Hilary:Oh, that's awful. But look on the bright side. You might have gotten dumped, but you look marvelous.

Will · Ashley:Ashley, where did you learn to lie like that? Mom taught me.

Will · Carlton:What would it take for me to get a woman to make that noise? Probably cash.

Carlton:Probably cash.

Will:Hey, why don't you go take a steroid break?

Will · Hank:Arm wrestling? That's a boy's game. You're right. Step up to a man's game. Matt.

Carlton · Will:Will, what the heck do you think you're doing? You can't drink. Why not? Because you're underage. It's against the law, mister.

Will:Thank you very much, McGruff, the Crime Dog... but this is the law of the jungle.

Will:In the words of Public Enemy, 'Bring the noise.'

Unknown:Smooth.

Will:I only had... two.

Hank:Yeah, Carlton, have the valet bring around your big wheel.

Will · Carlton:I had a puppy. What happened to him? I don't know.

Will:I hope you're gonna have fun driving my gym locker.

Will:Ladies and gentlemen... I'd like to make a roast to Mr. Stank Barley.

Will:This man is an all-American... which don't really matter because we all Americans.

Will:Jock itching, wide receiving, love-to-take-the-snap punk.

Will:Happy Kwanzaa, Crank.

Will:What's that, Jackie? You've got an even smaller bathing suit?

Will · Dead Man:Are you the caretaker here? No, I'm more like a tenant.

Dead Men:Hey, you play poker? We need a fourth. A fourth? There's only two of us. Now there's four. Make it three.

Dead People:'Dead' is so politically incorrect. We prefer the term, 'living impaired.' That's much nicer. I can live with that.

Dead Man:The living guys always fall for that.

Will:I just gave a health tip to a dead guy.

Will:You went flying off a cliff. The guy who didn't is probably laying up under your woman right now... and you're stuck here playing eternal poker with no chips. Nice going, buddy.

Dead Woman:Oh, please, Rebel-Without-A-Clue... it's kids like you who make me glad I never had children.

Dead Woman:I think. I actually never did have time to read that note.

Dead Woman:I was in publishing, worked with a number one author. Very competitive, but I pushed and pushed until I made it to the top. I liked being on top.

Dead Woman:I liked being on top. I was a real winner.

Will · Dead Boxer:Let me guess. You died in the ring? No, during the post-fight interview.

Will · Dead Boxer:Let me guess. You died in the ring? No, during the post-fight interview.

Dead Boxer:The doctor said the next punch could kill me. A lucky guess.

Dead Woman:Yes, their last respects.

Dead Man:That damn kid won't stay buried. I don't have the patience to deal with him.

Billy · Will:I know, I was gonna play shortstop for the Dodgers. Hey, maybe you still will one day.

Billy:The driver was drunk.

Will:You're little.

Will · Ashley · Hilary:Don't worry, Ash, there are plenty of men in the sea. You mean fish in the sea. No, I mean men, fish don't own yachts.

Ashley · Hilary:I didn't feel comfortable having Robert see me like that. I hope you're not mad. Ashley, you're my baby sister. I love you.

Hilary:you're just not gonna do the volume I do.

Hilary:There's certainly nothing wrong with you wanting to look just the way you are... you're just not gonna do the volume I do.

Geoffrey · Hilary:Well, Miss Hilary, I guess beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Yeah, right.

Carlton:Well, not rolling down the window... before you ralphed in the Volvo was a good start.

Carlton:That must be what Chevy Chase felt like.

Carlton:Remember last Christmas when I had that second slice of rum cake? The next thing I knew, I was up on the kitchen table... with a lampshade on my head singing show tunes.

Will · Carlton:Well, I got a lot accomplished today, huh? I lost Jackie, I lost my self-respect, lost my dinner. I ain't got nothing left. Wrong again.

Will Smith:I'm sorry, guys, but I really don't remember my next line. No, I really don't. Is waiting worth the... Okay, we can just keep going.

Will Smith:I'm sorry, guys, but I really don't remember my next line. No, I really don't. Is waiting worth the... Okay, we can just keep going.