Bart The General

Do I smell cupcakes? - Ooh! Do I ever! -Uh-uh, Homer.

Keep your greasy mitts outta there

You're saying 'buttkisser' like it's a bad thing

Well, you see, boy, it never hurts to grease the wheels a little

It's the three roads to success, Bart: work, brains and hmm-- Oh, brother.

Doh!

My sister here made a whole pile up cupcakes to butter up her teacher, and she won't give anybody else even one measly little crumb

Here, Otto. I made an extra one for you

You sniveling toad! You little egg sucker!

Back-scratcher. Foot-licker. Honor student!

In the heat of the moment, I said some things I didn't mean

What do you like best about me? / Well, I'd have to say... your generous nature, your spirit of giving

Open your mouth and close your eyes, and you will get a big surprise

Thanks, Lis. You're the best

Nelson, you're bleeding. / Nah, happens all the time. Somebody else's blood splatters on me

Hey, wait a minute. You're right. You made me bleed my own blood!

Uh-oh. A cold wind

No, no, no. He'll get you after school, son. Now hurry up. It's time for class

Lunchtime! Ha, ha, ha! - Lunchtime, Bart. It's lunchtime.

I ain't gonna get out of the fourth grade alive

It would violate the code of the schoolyard

Here comes my brother, Bart the bully-killer!

I'm not sayin' I'm not a hero. I'm just saying that I fear for my safety

Good-bye, little dude. He looks so lifelike, man

Who wants a day off from work when I'm never gonna see my beloved son again?

I know you can't eat it now, so I'll just place it lovingly on your forehead

Hey, look. They got food at this thing

Oh, man, that guy's tough to love

Let's just say I paid the inevitable price for helping out my sister

I'm gonna miss you, big guy

I'm gonna miss you, big guy.

The code of the schoolyard, Marge. The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do

This bully friend of yours, is he a little on the chunky side? / Yeah, he's pretty chunkified, all right.

Well, thank you very much, Mrs. Maharishi Gandhi

Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own

That little doozy's been a Simpson trademark for generations

Remember the family jewels, son.

Remember the fight he put up when we put him in the home?

We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive

We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive.

Number one: bra. Number two: horny. Number three: family jewels

My arm? Well, let me put it this way. Next time your teacher tells you to keep your arm inside the bus window, you do it!

The key to Springfield has always been Elm Street. The Greeks knew it. The Carthaginians knew it. Now you know it

I can't promise you victory. I can't promise you good times. But the one thing I do know-- Whoa, whoa! All right! Okay! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!

You can push them out of a plane, you can march them off a cliff, you can send 'em off to die on some godforsaken rock, but for some reason, you can't slap 'em

Well, I'd rather they say 'Death From Above,' but I guess we're stuck

It's a classic pincers movement. It can't fail against a ten-year-old

I thought I'd never hear the screams of pain or see the look of terror in a young man's eyes. Thank heaven for children

Ha! Oh, yeah? You and what army? / This one.

There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War I, and the Star Wars trilogy