Troy McClure

Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from Cry Yuma and Here Comes the Coast Guard!

I'm Troy McClure. You probably remember me from such films as The Revenge of Abe Lincoln and The Wackiest Covered Wagon in the West.

In those days... instead of being wrapped in a hygienic package... chocolate was wrapped in a tobacco leaf. Instead of being pure chocolate like we have today it was mixed with shredded tobacco and they didn't eat it--they smoked it.

I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as... Buck Henderson, Union Buster... and Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory

Quoth the raven-- What a shine!

I play Jack Handle, a retired cop... who shares an apartment with a retired criminal. The original odd couple.

and my recent trouble with the I RS sealed the deal.

You might remember me from such films as... Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die, and Gladys, the Groovy Mule.

That can't be good for me. It tastes too good.

Hello. I'm actor Troy McClure. You kids might remember me from such educational films as Lead Paint:: Delicious But Deadly and Here Comes The Metric System.

Nine months later Fluffy gave birth to 14 beautiful bunnies. Eight survive.

Smell like Streep For cheap!

Token black panelist, Drederick Tatum

She, uh-- Good for her.

Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such instructional videos as Mothballing Your Battleship and Dig Your Own Grave and Save.

Do you have extruded polyvinyl foam insulation? No. Good.

Wait a minute! Now parge the lath. Ohh!

You may remember me from such films as The Erotic Adventures of Hercules and Dial 'M' for Murderousness

Excitement, she wrote

Hi! I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such driver's ed films as Alice's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass and The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot.

Here's an appealing fellow. In fact, they're a-peeling him off the sidewalk. / It's funny 'cause I don't know him.

Ah, my crêpes are done.

I'm Troy McClure... star of such films as 'P' Is For Psycho... and The President's Neck Is Missing.

You mean there's a better way?

But won't we have to pay those outrageous grocery-store prices... for something the farmer probably spit in?

Doctor, are you sure it's on? I can't hear a thing. It's whisper quiet!

where the women are robust, the men are pink-cheeked... and the children are pink-cheeked and robust

You might remember me from such telethons as 'Out with Gout '88' and 'Let's Save Tony Orlando's House'

Some idiot actually called in

You might remember me from such self-help videos as Smoke Yourself Thin and Get Confident, Stupid.

Troy: 'Then Brad Goodman came along and gave me this job and a can of fortified wine.'

[Loud Gulp] Ahh! Sweet liquor eases the pain.

Troy, this circle is you. My God, it's like you've known me all my life.

Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such films as The Boatjacking of Supership 79 and Hydro: The Man With the Hydraulic Arms.

Yeah, 'groovy.'

Slim, if we've got the bag with the stolen diamonds... then what happened to the bag with our stash? There's more than one way to get high, baby.

You may remember me from such educational films as Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun.! And Firecrackers: The Silent Killer.

Oh, hello, Bobby. - Jimmy.

Come on, Jimmy. Let's take a peek at the killing floor. Don't let the name throw you, Jimmy. It's not really a floor. It's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.

Just ask this scientician.

Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about.

Yes, you were, Jimmy. Yes, you were.

You may remember me from such Fox Network specials as... Alien NoseJob, and five fabulous weeks of The Chevy Chase Show.

America's favorite... non-prehistoric cartoon family

old favorites you can't see in syndication

the already-famous creator of such comics... as Damnation, Johnny Reb... and True Murder Stories

The Tracy Ullman Show- the nation's showcase for psychiatrist jokes... and musical comedy numbers

They haven't changed a bit, have they?

The cash register says, 'N.R.A.4ever.' Just one of the hundreds of radical, right-wing messages... inserted into every show by creator Matt Groening.

That's not a question, professor.

He's in his early 40s, is unmarried, and currently resides in Springfield.

If you said 'Bleeding Gums' Murphy and Dr. Marvin Monroe... you are wrong- they were never popular.

You've got some attitude, mister.

But, of course, for that ending to work... you would have to ignore all the Simpson D.N.A. evidence. And that would be downright nutty.

since an old drunk made humans out of his rabbit characters... to pay off his gambling debts

hard-core nudity!

Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such public service videos as Designated Drivers: The Lifesaving Nerds and Phony Tornado Alarms Reduce Readiness.

I'm here today to give you the skinny on shoplifting, thereby completing my plea bargain with the good people at Foot Locker of Beverly Hills.

Shoplifting began here in ancient Phoenicia. Thieves would literally lift the corner of a shop in order to snatch the sweet, sweet olives within.

Oh, Sheheqazaramesh, will you ever learn?

You might remember me from such show business funerals... as 'Andre the Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye'... and 'Shemp Howard: Today We Mourn a Stooge.'

You must be over 18 for the 10:00. It gets a little blue.

You may remember me from such films as The Greatest Story Ever Hulaed and They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall.

You wouldn't ask a handsome man like me to wear glasses! It'd be a crime against nature!

W... seven, star, pound.

Look, Miss... 'Boo-Veer.'

I've been reading a lot of scripts lately. You know, it's a lot cheaper than going to the movies.

Here you go, boys. A little something for page one.

You haven't found me work in 12 years. Oh, you! Jury duty is work.

You may remember me from such dates as last night's dinner.

Well, not much happens to me... but I once had dinner with a movie star... and it was the most wonderful night of my life. Really? Who was it? George Segal? I hear he plays the banjo.

You know, smoke actually smells good when it's coming outta you.

My God! It's like five cigarettes at once! Oh, my head is swimming! That's not cigars, baby. That's love.

Garbage collection is Monday. If you want to throw out a box, you have to cut it up.

I'll be sleeping downstairs in the visitor's center. I'll see you in the morning, and get ready for tennis. It comes on at 10:00.

Uh, the movie or the planet?

Get your paws off me, you dirty ape! He can talk! He can talk. He can talk. He can talk! He can talk! He can talk.! He can talk.!

Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius Oh, Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius What's wrong with me I think you're crazy Want a second opinion You're also lazy

Can I play the piano anymore Of course you can Well, I couldn't before

I hate every ape I see From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z

Hi. I remember you from such filmstrips as Locker Room Towel Fight: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll. I was one of the first to speak out against horseplay.

Yeah, that's a good idea, Homer... but they've already made some movies about World War II. Aw, hell! Well, what about Dracula?

Paramount wants you for a buddy comedy with Rob Lowe and Hugh Grant. Those sick freaks?

Sure, baby. Is that a problemo?

Sure, I do, like I love Fresca. Isn't that enough?

Are you gay? Gay? I wish! If I were gay, there'd be no problem.

Just smile for the cameras and enjoy Mr. Troy's Wild Ride.

Think what it'll mean! Not just the McBain movie, but maybe my own fragrance- 'Smellin' of Troy'!

From now on, she's smoking for two!

Remember how 'alive with pleasure' they said we were?

Oh, great! We'll adopt. I'll call my agent. He'll find some kid who wants in on the deal.

You may remember me from such cartoons as... Christmas Ape and Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp.

You may remember me from such cartoons as... Christmas Ape and Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp.

Spin-off! Is there any word more thrilling to the human soul?

You may remember me from such TV spin-offs as Son of Sanford and Son and After Mannix

I'm here at the Museum of TV and Television... with a real treat for Simpsons fans, if any...

35 new shows to fill a few holes in their programming lineup

That's a pretty daunting task. And the producers weren't up to it.

Keep at least one eye open. 'Cause his best friends, the Simpsons, just might pop in to wish him luck.

Could The Simpsons ever have maintained its popularity without Moe the bartender? Let's hope so, because Moe's leaving to do his own sitcom.

Unfortunately, one family member didn't want that chance and refused to participate. But thanks to some creative casting, you won't even notice.

Well, here's what's on tap for season nine. Magic powers! Wedding after wedding after wedding. And did someone say long-lost triplets?

and a tiny green space alien named Osmodiar that only Homer can see...

Have you ever wondered why fat parents have fat children... or why Chinese parents have Chinese children?

You may remember me from such medical films as Alice Doesrt Live Anymore... and Mommy, What's Wrong with that Mars Face?

You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as 'Welcome to Springfield Airport' and 'Where's Nordstrom?'

You may remember me from such nature films as Earwigs- Eew! and Man vs. Nature- The Road to Victory.

Of course, one thing mother blue jay can't defend against... is a set of steel tongs. [Squawks]

If they're to survive, they require the gentle warmth and tender love... that only a mother can provide. Or better yet, a 75-watt bulb.

They look awfully hungry, Mr. McClure. - They sure are, Billy. In nature, their mother would regurgitate food for them to eat. - That's gross! - [Laughs] It sure is, Billy. It sure is.