Altar Egos

I'm intercepting some telepathic energy... that's telling me it's the eight of diamonds. That's amazingly close. Gee, I got it wrong.

You know, it's a new trick, so I'm still kind of tweaking my nipples... The presentation was great.

You might wanna button that shirt up. No, I'm good.

Wow. He's amazing. He hasn't done it, and you're holding a four of spades in your hand.

I don't care. I'm loving the ride, you know?

There's not gonna be any coeds. There certainly isn't gonna be any magic. It is a path to a lonely life where people mock you. And you don't even realize it.

Michael, I'm a magi... I see what you did.

We're not Orthodox.

Kitty, isn't that your phone? No, I'm on the phone with your dad. That one's your line.

Kitty, these are not the files I asked for. Oh, then I don't know what I shredded.

No, I have been Googling your father. So I've heard.

She's been out for two weeks with this chest thing... but she's had no problems cashing the checks I've been sending her.

Buster got a perforated heart and Gob got that receding hairline... but you and I pretty much dodged the bullet.

55/55. Deal.

I sold you for a pack of cigarettes.

There's only one man I've ever called 'coward'. That's Brian Doyle-Murray.

What I'm calling you... is a television actor. Ouch.

A fact that took Lindsay and Maeby an hour and a half to ascertain.

Go! Go! It's not her! Drop the photo album! We're not in the photo album! Drop the pie!

Much better. Man, I was really stuffed up there! Up here, Michael. Up here.

having a margarita made in my mouth

I work for your father. You don't have the hiring and firing power. I absolutely do, and you're fired.

But take a good look, 'cause it's the last time!

That's the seventh nipple I've seen today.

You don't fire crazy. You never fire crazy.

Oh, my God, you paid for those, didn't you?

Well, he's my twin brother. I can show you. It was funny.

Oh, God, there's nothing to hold on to down there. You're like a boy.

Tobias had even produced a videotape... but its brief success was due to its misleading name.

You've got a little pocket there, Annyong. Annyong. That's not getting old.

In fact, Lucille's mother had been dead for six months.

She gained 10 pounds... there's so much food on that boat. She's up to 74!

Ninety-two years old, and she never tried pesto.

If you'll be so kind as to expose your breast, please.

Don't worry. He's gonna be covered with a blue dot. He approached me.

Wow, you get really girlie after, huh?

The Jews, I guess. Sure. But I think you need to look deeper.

I hate you! You hate White Power Bill. I hate the government! You hate White Power Bill. I hate my father!

Like Dorothy. The Wicked Witch is dead. All hail Dorothy!

Who are you asking back, Michael? Me? Or these?

I've gotta get out of here. I'm a part of the story. I can't be a part of the story.

Say good-bye to these. 'Cause it's the last time.

Talk you off? Talk you off what, Pop-Pop? When's that voice gonna drop?

If I clean it up, it's not really a sentence.

Call me the Tin Man. I'm a Friend of Dorothy's now.

But if he makes it disappear, won't everyone see me standing there? Let's just sit quietly and consider how ridiculous that statement was.

None of your damn business. Get the hell out of here. You don't have the magic in you! You never did!

I bought you. Remember to let it steep for five minutes.

So Frightened Inmate #2 isn't frightened at all. He's angry. He's a crabby old coot... and he needs love... just like everyone.

I sunk it! I sunk the yacht! At least I think I sunk it. I mean, I blew it up, and I don't see it anywhere.

$900,000 worth of insurance on it. And got rid of the evidence. How about a 'good job'?

Nana was on that yacht! What? You killed Nana! She's lying! She's been dead for six months. For about six months.

You can't have it. It's in a trust fund for Annyong. Annyong.

Bluth Company. George Michael speaking, not Kitty.

I don't need a real spring break. I really think I am much better off here alone in this office.

She showed her knobs in the steakhouse, sir.