Emotional Baggage

I'd never ask you for money. Come on. And it's 50,000 that I'm not asking you for, not 15, okay?

Which I could probably lend you. - Oh, I don't need it. - Huh? No? Good. Yeah? Good, good.

I was gonna use your divorce to pay off my peekaboo lawyer.

Oh, God, the giving up the rat race guy? This is the sand hobo?

He tickles my fancy. Your what? Is the... What part of Mom is the fancy?

You do not want to know what I'm picturing, and it's not what you think.

Yeah, Lottie Dottie DA, my asshole.

are we talking about reality or, uh, scripted, as well, because I've got...

First, you eat it with Buster, then you step in it with the movie, and now you're eating what you stepped in, because Kitty hates you.

Guess Michael's the geo-bead today.

'Geo-bead' confusion and George Sr.'s made-up expression

Yeah, it's one of Dad's expressions... When somebody screws up, Dad said it. One of his 'you'll figure it out someday' expressions.

G-O-B spells 'Gob,' you geo-bead, so why don't you s... ah. Well, today's the day.

Yes, of course, Marky Bark. From the cuckolding.

Why don't we make out again and teach them a lesson? I can't, 'cause my dad's here, and he thinks I'm still dating Rebel.

And how would our making out teach them a lesson? T-Teach Rebel a lesson. I meant, teach Rebel.

George Michael's failed breakup plan with Rebel

she was out of town for two months, and it looked like I was waiting for her when she got home, and she thinks we're closer than ever now

Oh, did that actress die? Oh, you, 2015.

Did I overhear that Rebel does not want you to meet her family?

I also thought that he was... Her... Her lover? Boss.

Be yourself, George Michael. George Maharis. Yes, be George Maharis, George Michael.

Eating what you stepped in. You made that point.

Who were you dating? Julie Bowen! Actually, it was Tony Wonder

a man Gob had been longing to hear from ever since the gay magician poofed into his life, and then, just as quickly... Disa-poofed.

The only mother figure he's ever had in his life was... Oh, it was Mom. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Huh, poor kid.

Wait, we had Mom. You know, in a way, she was our mom.

I heard we're getting a visit from the grandson. Want a lick?

Oh, my God, no. Good, more for me. Gonna have more? I can come back.

If your grandson wasn't here, I'd probably take a peeky-weeky.

That's starting to tingle. Let me know when it starts to burn. It's gonna burn? Did I not make that clear?

Nobody said getting out of a relationship would be painless.

Technically, they had to call me Rock Monster. And John Beard actually said I was one of the more popular predators

I didn't ask, 'What part of a dog do you want to touch?'

Michael! Whatever it is, the answer is no, unless you want the answer to be no, and then, it is yes.

I was gonna say, they look puffy and red. You guys need to get a room, huh?

I can see she's got gum in her mouth. She can hear you.

Unfortunately, Maeby left the dye in too long, and it turned out to be... Howard Red.

No, it isn't. It... It's... Imagine if it was pink, though.

Someone's come a-courtin'. You're fitting in already.

We Howards don't just laugh when things are funny. We laugh when we're happy. And when things are uncomfortable, too.

You mean, when bad reviews start rolling in?

The company's gonna go under by next week. We're broke. Guess I'm not exactly daddy's dream boyfriend, am I?

When I started Imagine... With Brian Grazer. ...but look at me... And Brian. Now.

But I'll tell you a secret, everyone feels that way.

No, I don't like hot dogs. But couldn't. I love them.

I'd like to see one get out of here quickly in an emergency. They'd be all... I have to get out of here. Get me out of here.

'Did you trick her into it yet?' 'Trick her into what?' 'Giving us our rights back, you geo...'

I'm in a Tumi... suitcase. I think I'm in baggage claim at Long Beach Airport. My assistant's picking me up, unless she takes another gray Tumi by mistake, then I go to unclaimed.

I would've claimed you.

Different in the same way. Same, in a different way. Different... Same... in a same gay way? Different same.

This is where I ate a battery during my first week at recess. No, no, 'yard.' Don't call it recess.

I almost didn't recognize you without the flashlight in your mouth.

You charge at a guard, they'll kill you. Oh, yeah. That I should know.

Sort of a son with benefits.

Sometimes, you want to look in your parents' perfect, sweet, kind faces, and tell them off. Punch them.

Bailout money, as you put it.

It's like kissing your cousin. Ugh. Ew. Okay. Gross, okay. Got it.

It would be my pleasure to be the man in your life that your father never was.

Oh, no. That's a sickly cactus with a plastic bag on it. Right. For a second, I was like, 'Is that Lindsay?'

I can't tell you how many times I've felt like a fraud. But I'll tell you a secret, everyone... Hey, Ron. Michael.

You know I'm as straight as they come, I just got a lot on my mind right now with work, slash, am I gay, slash, Buster's in jail.

This has true crime limited series written all over it. That way, my Rebel could be in it, too. She's no Bryce, but she's like a robot. Gives the exact same performance every take. Real time-saver.

I don't know how to, Reed. Oh. I must've heard that. I must've heard that. Right? Sure. That, uh... so you get... Do you get the scripts read to you?

You think so? Do you think that she's just using him? Yeah. And I'm pretty sure it's not for his body.

I think he's got a great build. You know? Um, he's wiry. You wouldn't want him to be taller. I like the young man's body. Okay? I do.

Yeah, well, that's very weird of you.

But you're not supposed to leave it in that long. Look at him. Ugh. He looks like a jack-o'-lantern.

Unless that person is a dad. For a father must bear his load lightly, and yet, beneath the mask, a watchful eye never wanders.

Streaming contracts, cable or broadcast? A streamer! No residuals.

The opening of the eyes is, uh, a bit of a guestimate lately.

A skinhead. I'm gonna kill you, you bleeping skinhead! Oh, hey! Skinhead! See what I did to skinhead?

Look how happy they look together. Just like us.