Documentary Filmmaking: Redux

Dean Pelton:Greendale Community College is proud to offer advanced programs in business, engineering, and liberal arts.

Dean Pelton:We're specifically designed for students in the greater Greendale area.

Jeff:The greater Greendale area? Isn't Greendale already pretty small?

Dean Pelton:Yes, well, we define the greater Greendale area as the area around Greendale.

The timing placement reveals the school's demographic desperation

Troy:I chose Greendale because when I was touring schools, the admissions guy said, 'Welcome to Greendale,' and he said it with such enthusiasm that I thought, 'This must be a good school.'

Troy:Turns out he just has a weird voice.

Troy:I'm going to learn to fly by the end of the semester.

Jeff:That's... that's a great goal, Troy. Really ambitious. I mean, most people would say it's impossible, but you? You might actually pull it off. Well, no, you won't. But I admire the confidence.

Dean Pelton:You know, I have to say, this group really represents the full spectrum of our student body. We've got different races, different backgrounds, different socioeconomic statuses. It's like looking at a living, breathing brochure.

Dean Pelton:Which is great! For the brochure. And for... diversity.

Dean Pelton:We're being filmed for a documentary.

Dean Pelton:It's the weird thing, but we're just going to ignore it and go about our day.

Abed:The making-of documentary is always better than the actual film. It's where you see the real story—the creative struggles, the behind-the-scenes chaos, the director's vision clashing with reality.

Dean Pelton:This isn't Hollywood. We don't have oddly specific and random celebrity friendship aspirations.

Pierce:I demand a trailer!

Other character:You don't have a trailer, Pierce.

Pierce:Well I demand one because I'm important enough to have one.

Other character:That's not how it works.

Pierce:If I didn't deserve a trailer, why would I be demanding one? And if I'm demanding one, clearly I deserve one. So get me my trailer!

Pierce:I'm a professional.

Jeff:No, you're not.

Dean Pelton:Script girl!

Annie:It's script supervisor, actually. And yes, I'm here.

Annie:As script supervisor, I'm responsible for maintaining continuity, timing, and ensuring all technical details are accurate. It's actually a very important position.

Annie:Without someone like me, entire scenes could fall apart. I'm basically the backbone of this production.

Annie:I mean, when you think about it, the director needs me more than I need them. I have all the power here.

Jeff:Okay, fine, I'll hug you.

Troy:Really?

Jeff:Yeah, come here.

Troy:This is nice.

Jeff:Don't make it weird.

Troy:I'm not making it weird, you're making it weird.

Jeff:Well, this is the longest hug I've ever given a man.

Troy:Are you thinking about Air Bud right now?

Jeff:What? No!

Troy:That's a movie about a dog playing basketball. Why would you reference that to connect with me?

Jeff:Oh, hello there! I'm Dean Pelton, and I'm here to remind you that air conditioning is a privilege, not a right. Also, I'm wearing a ascot made of pure authority and decision-making. Did I mention I went to an Ivy League school? Because I did. Twice. Both times as a student. The second time was my choice.

Pierce:I need a trailer to leave the trailer I don't have.

Jeff:Okay, okay, I can do this. Dean Pelton style wordplay. Here goes... 'Greendale? More like... Green-FAIL.'

Jeff:No, that's not... Let me try again. 'You could say this situation is... un-DEAN-iable.'

Jeff:Wait, I'm getting it now. 'That's not very... Pel-TON of you.' 'Pel-TON.' 'Pel-DONE.' 'Pel-GONORRHEA.'

Jeff:I can't stop. 'Greendale? More like... Greenduh-duh-duh-duh-duh. Duh-GAL. Gal-ton-ee-stan-berg-stein. Stein-berg-DALE-FAIL-TOWN.'

Abed:I'm filming this in 4:3 aspect ratio because it's more cinematic.

Jeff:That's the opposite of cinematic.

Abed:Actually, according to the project guidelines, there's no specified aspect ratio requirement, which means any format is technically compliant. So if the final cut doesn't meet someone's subjective definition of 'good,' I'm still contractually protected.

Abed:I'll go the extra mile to avoid doing something.

Abed:I haven't had sex in three years.

Jeff:Leonard, what are you doing here? And please don't tell me it's another one of your conspiracy theories about the cafeteria's mashed potatoes being a government experiment.

Dean Pelton:Your voice is like... it's like a warm blanket made of chocolate and... jazz?

Shirley:Dean, if you finish that sentence, I will hurt you.

Dean Pelton:Oh my God, is that... is that Luis Guzmán?! Luis Guzmán is here at Greendale! This is the best day of my life! Well, not better than the day I met Chevy Chase, but definitely top five. Top three, actually.

Dean Pelton:Guzman, your work on the... the database has been absolutely phenomenal.

Dean Pelton:And the single element being just the celebrity's presence.

Dean Pelton:Alright people, listen up. We're casting for the school musical and I need very specific things. First, I need someone who can sing, dance, and has experience operating a forklift. Second, must be willing to dye their hair periwinkle on Tuesdays only. Third, you need to have a valid passport, a notarized letter from your dentist, and you must be allergic to exactly three foods—no more, no less. And finally, you should probably have some theater experience, but honestly that's the least important thing on this list.

Student:Wait, so I'm supposed to play myself playing myself playing myself?

Dean Pelton:That's the beauty of it! It's a Droste effect of casting.

Student:But who plays me in the flashback within the flashback?

Dean Pelton:You do. We're going full Inception.

Student:This is just the same script printed three times with different fonts.

Dean Pelton:Exactly! Method acting at its finest.

Dean Pelton:I have a new vision for Greendale. A vision of unity, of coming together as one people. Because at the end of the day, we're all the same color on the inside. And that color is... a beautiful shade of beige.

Dean Pelton:Okay, people, this is a simple interracial hug. We're going for a Benetton ad meets United Nations General Assembly. I want to see the unbridled joy of two humans transcending the barriers of race, creed, and social class. Now, embrace!

Dean Pelton:Cut! That was beautiful. You know what this is? This is Community. Not just a college—a beacon of hope in a world of darkness. Where strangers become family. Where dreams don't just come true, they multiply like rabbits. This is Greendale Community College. Where your future isn't just bright—it's a supernova.

Shirley:To meet different people.

Shirley:To meet different people.

Shirley:To meet different people.

Shirley:Why would you say 'different'? Why not 'new' people? Or 'other' people? 'Different' makes it sound like they're weird! Are you saying I need to go meet weird people?

Shirley:Is that what you think of me?

Annie:Abed, we need to help the Dean! He's having a complete breakdown!

Abed:I can't. I'm filming it. This is going to be an amazing B-roll for my documentary.

Annie:Abed!

Abed:What? Suffering is art. I'm just making sure we capture it in 1080p.

Garrett:Wait, so I'm playing a lamp?

Dean Pelton:A very important lamp, Garrett.

Garrett:But I don't understand the character arc.

Dean Pelton:You start as a lamp. By act three, you're a lamp that's also a sentient cloud.

Garrett:What's my motivation?

Dean Pelton:You're a lamp-cloud hybrid searching for the perfect outlet.

Garrett:That doesn't make any sense.

Dean Pelton:Of course it does. By scene five you're actually a moderately sized potted plant with commitment issues.

Chang:I'm the understudy for the entire production. I have to be ready to go on at a moment's notice.

Chang:So I wear all the wigs. All of them. Stacked on top of each other.

Chang:It's a suffocation hazard, but I'm a professional.

Dean Pelton:I'm not paranoid. I'm just aware that my mother could betray me at any moment, and I need to be prepared for that specific scenario.

Annie:I'm not wasting time, I'm investing in the group. And the group needs me, so I'm not wasting time. Which means the time isn't wasted. So I'm not wasting time.

Abed:You exhibit signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, and possibly Stockholm syndrome.

Annie:That's ridiculous. I don't have Stockholm syndrome.

Abed:You're being held captive by the Dean.

Annie:I'm not being held captive. I love working for the Dean. He's wonderful and visionary.

Abed:That's exactly what someone with Stockholm syndrome would say.

Annie:Well, if loving the Dean is Stockholm syndrome, then I don't want to be cured.

Pierce:But I have a trailer! I have a beautiful trailer!

Jeff:I'm having an existential crisis over temporary baldness.

Jeff:I'm not taking it off. This bald cap is part of me now.

Britta:Jeff, it's been three days.

Jeff:You don't understand. When I wear this cap, people treat me differently. They see past the hair, past the face. They see the real Jeff Winger.

Troy:Dude, you look ridiculous.

Jeff:Ridiculous? I've joined a community. The bald community. We have a bond. We understand each other.

Abed:You've been online for two hours.

Jeff:It's called the Follicle-Free Forum, and they get me in ways you people never will.

Dean Pelton:Jeff, I've called you here today because after careful consideration of your actions, your attitude, and your flagrant disregard for the rules of this institution, I have come to a decision that will change everything. This is not easy for me. I've lost sleep. I've consulted with my advisors. I've meditated on it. And after all of that soul-searching, all of that deliberation, I must tell you—

Jeff Winger:I'm fired.

Dean Pelton:Yes.

Britta:As someone with a background in psychology, I think what the Dean is doing is frankly irresponsible and borders on psychological abuse.

Dean Pelton:Britta, you took one intro psych class.

Britta:Exactly. I'm basically a clinical therapist at this point. And I'm telling you, this behavior is textbook narcissistic personality disorder.

Chang:The Dean makes excellent decisions. Why, just last week he cast me as the lead in our production of Waiting for Godot.

Chang:I have no acting experience, I'm not even in the drama club, and I don't know what the play is about.

Dean Pelton:Oh, that? That's just our office possum. He comes in through the air vents. We've named him President Garfield.

Dean Pelton:He's actually very helpful during budget meetings. Really keeps people focused.

Abed:Well, technically we're not his friends. We're more like subjects in a documentary he's making about himself. The camera follows him everywhere, there's a heavy-handed narrator explaining his motivations, and everyone else exists primarily to validate his worldview or provide contrast to his quirks.

Luis Guzmán:I'm here to tell you about Greendale Community College. This institution has changed lives. I've seen things here that would make your head spin.

Luis Guzmán:And let me tell you something else — I've been with more women than most men have had dreams. But you know what? The real pleasure, the real satisfaction, comes from the education we provide right here at Greendale.

Dean Pelton:I organize so many events at Greendale because I'm terrified that if I stop, everyone will realize I'm completely incompetent and the whole institution will collapse. Or worse, they won't notice at all.

Dean Pelton:I'm truly sorry for my behavior. I've reflected deeply on my actions, and I realize how much I've hurt you. You mean everything to me, and I want to make this right.

Dean Pelton:But before we continue, have you seen my dental floss? The mint-flavored one? I can't find it anywhere, and my teeth feel absolutely disgusting.

School Board Member:This is excellent work. Chang really delivered.

Executive:Yeah, he's surprisingly articulate for... you know.

Jeff:Abed, how can you claim to be objective when you're constantly intervening in the story?

Abed:A fly on the wall still has to land somewhere. I'm just being honest about where I'm landing.

Dean Pelton:I just need everyone to stop leaving food out in the study room. We have a possum problem.

Dean Pelton:I need your help. There's a possum in the air vents.

Dean Pelton:Every time I think it's gone, it comes back. And every single time, I'm shocked. Shocked! Like I didn't just see it five minutes ago doing the exact same thing.

Dean Pelton:It's like I have no memory of possums whatsoever. It plays dead, I'm amazed. It runs away, I'm devastated. It comes back, somehow that's new information to me.

Pierce:I'm not going to be mitigated by anyone in this group!

Pierce:Finally! Recognition for my magnanimous and bountiful contributions to this institution. I am a pillar of the community—nay, a MONUMENT to philanthropy and jocularity. My legacy will be remembered as one of unparalleled munificence and... and... perspicacity!

Pierce:Back to my trailer. And I demand snacks. Good snacks. Not the ones from the vending machine that taste like a tire fire mixed with broken dreams.