The Stall

From the rate we're pushing the whales off the beach back into the ocean, the words 'shore' and 'close' do not appear to be in their vocabulary.

Concentrate less on the singing, a little more on the approaching Cuervo beach volleyball tournament if you want to maintain that brainy-mammal image.

This is kind of embarrassing but there's no toilet paper over here.

No, I'm sorry. I can't spare it.

Well, I don't need much. Just three squares will do it.

I can't spare a square!

Well, is it two-ply? Because if it's two-ply, I'll take one ply.

One ply. One puny little ply. I'll take one measly ply!

Look, I don't have a square and I don't have a ply!

No, no, don't go! I beg you!

I love this artificial flavoring. I like it better than butter. I think it's more consistent.

I mean, a person needs a certain amount of toilet paper to be covered.

I simply could not spare it. This woman just didn't get it.

Three squares! That's all I was asking for. Three squares!

She wouldn't stop. 'Help me! Help me!' She was insane.

'Please, please!' She was insane.

Too bad they don't have old ladies walking around with flashlights. Flush her out.

You think if I jumped off that balcony, I'd get hurt?

It's not one of those 976 calls, is it?

Why do you do that?

Oh, with pretty boy Tony.

'Hey. Hey.' Tony.

Well, maybe she couldn't spare it.

Well, you know, sometimes a square is everything.

It's like asking for someone's canteen in the desert. It's battle conditions.

Because I will never forget that flinty voice. It is tattooed in my brain.

Then we'll get a cab and we'll do it in the back seat.

What about the driver?

We'd get in an accident.

Kramer's Andre.

Jerry, I'm telling you, this phone-sex thing is hilarious.

Oh, nothing. She just choked on a Jujube.

Don't wanna keep Tony waiting.

I would be going out with him no matter what he looked like.

It's different for a man. We're expected to be superficial.

He's a 'mimbo.'

George is like a schoolgirl around him.

Hey, dude, you better step off.

You said, 'Step off'?

God, that is too much!

You get no rush from bowling.

Drop a ball on your toe, my friend! Talk about a rush, you'll be throbbing! You'll see visions!

I'm supposed to have a boil lanced mañana, and I think they charge me if I cancel with only one mañana's notice.

Mañana I'm doing nada.

Tony, that's gonna be too many sandwiches.

You need a boost to climb into your bed.

He's the first cool guy I've ever been friends with in my life.

You should hear the way he talks to waitresses. He gets free pie!

I think that you're in love with him.

You love him.

And you're not getting any sandwiches either!

Well, that voice, it's very familiar. Throaty, almost flinty.

Did you say 'flinty'?

Oh, God, please get off me! I don't want to die up here!

Try to yodel. Yodel.

I got tuna and salmon salad, Tony, because I know you don't like peanut butter.

Oh, how's this thing work?

It's weak. Weak gum. Yeah.

It's a big problem. She puts like four pieces in her mouth. It's ridiculous.

She always has to be different.

His face? Did something happen to his face?

Well, it all depends on what you mean by 'happen.'

I sang '99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.'

Well, aside from that, how'd he like the sandwiches?

Did they get into stuff like long, jagged scars, gross deformities, major skin grafts?

Do you recall the words 'radical reconstructive surgery' being uttered?

Step off, George. I don't want to see you.

I made such delicious sandwiches, Elaine.

It's a damn shame. A damn shame.

Jerry's told me so much about you, I feel like I know you intimately.

Jerry, that voice is tattooed on my brain, it's her.

Or am I so sane that you just blew your mind?

Or is your entire world just crashing down all around you?

You know: You're afraid he might look like Zippy the Pinhead.

I lied.

But he's my mimbo. And even if he is a hideous freak, maybe I can learn to love him.

And maybe in some final irony, I'll learn what love really is.

I'm sorry. I didn't get most of that.

We have a certain chemistry.

I sell paper goods, you jerk.

No, I'm sorry. I can't spare it. There's just not enough to spare.

I can't spare a square.

Can you almost make it?

Good thing he was there, or I would have hit the ground directly.