Winner Takes Off

Will:Locate the black queen, and I don't mean Little Richard

Will:Okay, Carlton, you're pretty good for a white guy

Will:Zagnut, Goobers, Good & Plenty, locate the black girl, you win $20

Geoffrey:Well, there goes Saturday night at Sizzler. I had coupons, too

Will:Didn't realize you were such a coward. Chicken

Will:See, if it was like you, you'd have won, but it red, so you lost

Carlton:He fell for it, Will. Now let's go hustle Dad

Will:In Bel-Air we call them 'words'

Will:What a coincidence, your first short story and your first short son in the same room

Will:Okay, somebody bury this.

Will:I don't know about that, Uncle Phil. Remember them plaid shorts you wore last summer?

Will:Yes, women is a trip, Uncle Phil. It's just like, let's say... you accidentally scream out the wrong name... and they jumping all out the back of your car like that

Phil:Buy her a car and hope she forgets all about this

Geoffrey:Now you're a sandwich

Geoffrey:Wait a second, that is what life is like

Geoffrey:Wait a second, that is what life is like.

Carlton:That's an easy one. 'Creamy on the inside, smooth on the outside'

Will:Yeah, well, at least I don't fit in one

Geoffrey:Ngo Dinh Diem

Will:I say we call Immigration

Hilary:How sad. Some people will do anything for money. I mean, why don't they just ask their fathers?

Geoffrey:And might I add, ha ha! And, ha!

Will:I mean, it's either this or force him to listen to Yoko Ono albums

Phil:Trust me, the only thing your mother should write is checks

Ashley · Will:Hey! I don't care how much money you got, brother, you ain't gonna... What's going on in here?

Geoffrey:Ah, the cheap stuff. Not to worry, Phil

Will:your Montrose vase... attracts dust like a magnet

Geoffrey:Do the family a favor, get Viv some cooking lessons

Ashley:Vroom, vroom, vroom

Will:No, I'm gonna beg like Keith Sweat

Geoffrey:I'm buying the O'Jays

Geoffrey:Like this: 'Goodbye'

Geoffrey:Yes! Well, some things never change

Geoffrey:You used my own ruse against me. How I admire you. Die!

Geoffrey:You catch on quickly, you little twit

Will:Look, I don't know about you, man, but I'm going to take this TV right here

Carlton:I know I am, Dad

Carlton:I mean, you know me, I don't even have a sense of humor

Carlton:A joke I had nothing to do with, Dad. I mean, you know me, I don't even have a sense of humor.

Will:I don't know, forget the whole thing and get us a couple Jet Skis

Will:I don't know, forget the whole thing and get us a couple Jet Skis.

Phil:And, I'm a judge. I can make it happen

Will:You know, really, I don't mind the yelling. But does he have to spit?

Will:This happens all the time. They think I'm Bryant Gumbel.

Random person:Are you the guy from Webster?

Another person:I told you it was the guy from Diff'rent Strokes

Restaurant boss:Geoffrey, the urinals need mints. Move it

Will:Who am I? You hear... Who am I? I'm a black man with a short fuse

Will:Yeah, how do you think Carlton feels when he changes into his gym shorts?

Will · Carlton:Yeah, how do you think Carlton feels when he changes into his gym shorts? That's a very small humiliation.

Geoffrey:You promise?

Will:She only had one arm... and when you would go to concerts, she clapped like this

Will:He knows we can't afford any bigger clothes so he just doesn't grow

Carlton:Daddy, I want to grow.

Will:He's never even been on a roller coaster for God's sakes

Will:He's never even been on a roller coaster for God's sakes.

Will · Geoffrey · Carlton:We love you, Dad. All right. I'll come back home. Daddy's coming home. Thank you, Daddy.

Will:I'm crazy about you, girl.