The Philadelphia Story

Carlton · Will:Don't you mean "Brotherly Love"? / Take my word on this one, Carlton.

Carlton:No country club reciprocity.

Carlton:God forbid she should send a picture.

Will:It is a damn shame when people are spoiled by money.

Will:G, put some butter on that, bring that out to me in the car.

Aunt Vy:I spent 10 years customizing this thing to my boogie.

Aunt Vy:Now, I don't want none of y'all sitting in it and stretching out my sweet spot.

Aunt Vy:Don't make me kill you in your mother's home.

Hilary:Yeah. I mean it's so... poor.

Carlton · Will · Carlton:What's Happening! Or What's Happening Now? / What's Happening! / Neato! I get to be Rerun.

Will:Hey, Mom, listen, you should probably make sure that Uncle Phil sleeps on the bottom bunk. Because if he get up on the top bunk... Well, you know gravity ain't no joke. You know what I'm saying? He could end up in China.

Carlton:How about if just I left?

Carlton:That's what I get for being considerate.

Will:You're cheating. You're cheating. My mama cheating.

Carlton · Hilary · Hilary:How come we never had that much fun? / I don't know. / What's on TV?

Hilary:Right about now, I bet Geoffrey is turning back my covers and putting a little mint on my pillow.

Carlton:And your feet.

Carlton:What do you have to tip the maitre d' to get a good stool?

Duke:Why don't you take your Bing Crosby butt over to the golden arches and lie down in front of a drive-through window.

Duke:Four Joe Frazier's in cheese trunks.

Duke:Wrap one in fungus.

Carlton:You call that pathetic strip of graffiti-littered concrete legendary?

Will:How come I got older, but you didn't?

Dick Clark:Duke's sandwiches, a fountain of youth.

Duke:One Will Smith.

Duke:Only instead of fighting, he ran clear across the country to California. He was a chicken to go.

Duke:The ears were a little bigger, but it is you!

Dick Clark:Hey, it's got a good beat, and you can run to it.

Duke:California's the other way!

Will · friend:That's funny? / I ain't laughing.

Friend:We can't. All our relatives live here.

Will:I just went to visit y'all for four years.

Carlton:Hey, mister, there's nothing worse than dirty Dockers.

Will:The dude that be spinning me over his head in the opening credits.

Friend:Yo, remember in junior high when he stole the principal's car just to run him over?

Will:If I win, I need a witness. If I lose, you're my blood type.

Carlton:Gee, this playground makes the other one look like Club Med.

Carlton:A bad smell isn't worth a mouthful of bloody Chicklets.

Will:It's like his brain is so tiny, if he shake his big head like this, it'd sound like a BB in a canteen.

Will · Omar · Will · Will:Me and Carlton can take you. / You and who? / Carlton. Ain't that right...? Carlton?

Hilary · Aunt Vy:That's made from the part of the pig that's not good enough to go in sausage. / But it's good enough to go in Philip.

Hilary:I don't know, I'm supposed to be in England. Get some English muffins.

Geoffrey:There is room for one more.

Omar:You're the chicken sandwich guy.

Will:You so ugly, when you was born, the doctor just slapped both your parents.

Will:She is like a doorknob, everybody gets a turn!

Will:I guess the mom's the red button.

Omar:That's my rep.

Vy · Will:Maybe you can come back when they make it to the World Series. / I can't do it.

Aunt Vy · Will:Maybe you can come back when they make it to the World Series. / I can't do it.

Carlton:Just watch it on TV with the rest of us.

Carlton:You mean I was in a garbage can for nothing?

Carlton:Look, when we get back, Dad will buy us a stoop.

Will:I'm not.